Inspired

There are many things that I could say about what I'm about to post.  However, I believe this beautiful creature speaks for itself.  He is so full of light, love and life! 
Meet Mteto Maphoyi--a model of human being.
I can only say that as I saw and heard him I was moved to the very last fiber in my body.  I felt empathy, a feeling of love, of happiness, compassion, kindness, courage, inspiration and admiration. 


The world is a better place thanks to him.
I admire you.
I see you.


--Fía.

Dharma

Yesterday I had my first Skype meeting with my yoga teacher, and it was a true experience of love.  Love, the name I give to that which allows creation, which nourishes and feeds the soul.  
Love, the great heart that provides blood of life and pumps the blood through the veins of life towards the organs of human kindness and possibilities. 


Leaving my "poetic" expression, my humble analogies, I would have to simply say that I felt inspired and truly connected to "focus", "balance" and "purpose".  
All these terms are part of what--and how--I would define "dharma".  Dharma is sometimes understood and explained as duty, responsibility. However I believe it goes beyond that definition.  To dharma there is also purpose, connectivity, balance, love, purpose, devotion.  Duty just seems too harsh and too much of a "task".  Just as work usually holds this connotation of negativity of tiredness, obligation...even sometimes lack/loss of freedom.  
"I work...but to get some time off..." I've heard that quite often. 


Responsibility is the little sister of work too.  Has a bad rep.  For having responsibility implies commitment, implies connection, implies dedication, implies caring, implies knowledge and awareness of action-reaction. I, on the other hand, believe that it entails great power and great beauty.  What better than to know, trust and cherish the fact that what I intend, what I do, withholds consequences and will bring forth creation...? 
My seeds will eventually germinate, sprout, bloom! 


I wish to switch that paradigm around.  I am constantly working on it...because trust me, it ain't easy!


I'm wired, programmed, into this rational system that is sadly dominating most of the world.  Where utility, productivity, result-based actions, competition, and the constant search for perfection are our pillars to "success"...or what might be worst, conformity. A veil that is blinding us all. 


I would have to conclude that "conformity" is probably the word I like the least. To not say dislike.  
And I love words. 


Conformity. Compliancy. To go along with.  To follow convention. To be conventional.  To fit in. 
I actually looked it up.
Now, there is nothing wrong with all these ideas..nothing is really wrong or right by principle.  It's just the behavior, the attitude of conformity towards important events that need "dealing with" that unsettle me. 
Responsibility is the enemy of conformity.  As I just heard in a powerful, enlightening speech, it is the enemy to Resignation. 


Now look back into dharma.  We all have a specific dharma.  I can't speak for the world.  I speak for myself: it is up to me to discover, explore and follow my dharma.  
It is not a punishment or jail sentence of life--on the contrary! it is freedom and great power.  Great possibility to do. 
My conversation with my teacher reinforced my spirit, my Self, with the thought that if it all comes from a place of goodness (as in lovingkindness), then there is nothing to fear--leave "failure", "error", "bad" out.  
I shall list certain ideas that spring out of this understanding, out of this belief: 


* Seek and do what you believe you must do NOW: it is a journey that must be lived and experienced. 
   Details will come, it will all come clear over time. 


* Life is calling to participate, so join! 


* Something has been asked, there is a NEED to respond.  Let go of doubt, it doesn't exist.  
   This response comes from the present moment, from the center, from the heart, from practice.   
   NOT from old patterns, habits, rationalizing and/or seeking perfect. 


* If you take care of dharma, dharma will take care of you.  Trust.
   If you come from a good place, you'll discover.  That's all. That's enough. 
   You might zig-zag, take long turns, but you'll always be moving in direction of dharma.  
   If you take care of dharma, dharma will take care of you. 




---> A recommended interview that might just open your perception! 
       HIT PLAY!

Today I find myself filled with ideas on which to write about.  Different concepts to discuss, diverse "happenings" to reflect upon, feelings to share, information to pass along, open, open, open channels.  
It is because as I consider today's world--or even on a personal level-- today's precise moment, I feel more and more reassured (an itchy craving necessity) to express. Channels must be opened, ideas are worth sharing, changes are at our reach: 
The world, which is formed by us and beyond, must and IS transforming, acquiring new forms.  
Assessment, evaluation, inquiry, exploration--
Old paradigms to be questions.
New paradigms to be considered.  


Some years ago I attended an acting "master class" by Jeremy Irons (yes, the "known" Jeremy Irons), and he said something about luck which, as never before, struck me--and stayed with me since then.  I'm paraphrasing, but he said that really there is no such thing as luck, or being lucky.  **this originated from his supposedly "luck" on being a famous actor**


He said, forget about luck..it doesn't exist.  There is, however, the great power of being aware, being open to possibilities, being able to see and grab an opportunity.  We are surrounded by opportunities.  Life is throwing them out there for us ALL the time, it's up to us to link, appreciate them and act upon it.
To unveil. 
See.
Act. 


He was a beautiful wise and clear (from clarity) being.  He said he acted out of curiosity.  He was in love with the spirit of the human being.  It's capacity to feel and act.  Both equally important.  He said he felt somewhat limitless, he was at the mercy of whatever character he would portray. Learn to scuba dive? Why not? Learn to horseback ride? Sure! Submerge himself in the soul (circumstances, experiences, feelings, reasoning) of another--just as vulnerable, NOT JUDGING. 
He made not only acting, but life: situations, interactions, relationships, human spirit so clear to me.  With a tremendous amount of positivity, faith and love. 


I think maybe that is the message I want to pass along today.  Yes, I think i want to stick to that today: openness, belief in life and what is given to us.  
Openness, wake up (not ignore out of conformity or fear).  
Stay active, not passive. 



***** apart from Mr. Jeremy Irons, I pass along the info and message of the Dalai Lama, a great server and leader of humanity*****


DALAI LAMA-


His Holiness the Dalai Lama is the spiritual leader of the Tibetan people. His life is guided by three major commitments: the promotion of basic human values, the fostering of inter-religious harmony and the welfare of the Tibetan people.


Firstly, on the level of a human being, His Holiness’ first commitment is the promotion of human values such as compassion, forgiveness, tolerance, contentment and self-discipline. All human beings are the same. We all want happiness and do not want suffering. Even people who do not believe in religion recognize the importance of these human values in making their life happier. His Holiness refers to these human values as secular ethics. He remains committed to talk about the importance of these human values and shares them with everyone he meets.

Secondly, on the level of a religious practitioner, His Holiness’ second commitment is the promotion of religious harmony and understanding among the world’s major religious traditions. Despite philosophical differences, all major world religions have the same potential to create good human beings. It is therefore important for all religious traditions to respect one another and recognize the value of each other’s respective traditions. As far as one truth, one religion is concerned, this is relevant on an individual level. However, for the community at large, several truths, several religions are necessary.

Thirdly, His Holiness is a Tibetan and carries the name of the ‘Dalai Lama’. Tibetans place their trust in him. Therefore, his third commitment is to the Tibetan issue. His Holiness’ has a responsibility to act as the free spokesperson of the Tibetans in their struggle for justice. As far as this third commitment is concerned, it will cease to exist once a mutually beneficial solution is reached between the Tibetans and Chinese.

However, His Holiness will carry on with the first two commitments till his last breath.

"There is a saying in Tibetan that “at the door of the miserable rich man sleeps the contented beggar.” The point of this saying is not that poverty is a virtue, but that happiness does not come from wealth, but from setting limits to one’s desires, and living within those limits with satisfaction."

"The very purpose of spirituality is self-discipline. Rather than criticizing others, we should evaluate and criticize ourselves. Ask yourself, what am I doing about my anger, my attachment, my pride, my jealousy? These are the things we should check in our day to day lives."

"In today’s materialistic world there is a risk of people becoming slaves to money, as though they were simply cogs in a huge money-making machine. This does nothing for human dignity, freedom, and genuine well-being. Wealth should serve humanity, and not the other way around."

BREATH

It's been so lovely to open up to God!
God and the divine power, which i know exists.  
God is inside me, God is part of me, God is in my breath, it lives inside me. 
God is life and I am part of life. 
God is life and everyone, everything, is life. 


I shall not lie when I say that there are morning when I wake up beaten up.  Either my dreams or just thoughts sometimes create "fluctuations of mind", making my road kinda' bumpy and scattered, but connecting to the divinity of life--the gift of every new day-- brings back focus and direction. 
I call that yoga.


There were times when my practice was a mechanical routine, a repetition of movements that were not quite the steps towards connection and ultimately life.  I could sense inside me a "void" with what was taking place on my mat.  
Life's journey has taken me on a different road now.  Today. 
I've discovered-connected- Krishnamacharya, Desikachar, Dolphi, Patañjali...the list is somewhat endless..it could be boiled down all to breath.  The significance of breath. 
I'm at a moment where my practice is allowing me to experience/sense/feel (whole-heartedly) an inner strength, a possibility of focus, that is quite empowering.


I thank my teacher for my practice, I'm also proud of my dedication to it.  For those beaten up mornings, after my practice, I then breathe into the day differently-- Gāyātri (sun) is with me.  I can feel my being as a part of something bigger, better. 
How important it has been to grant myself the time and space to set and guide intentions! 
Sit in silence and breathe,
Sit and chant.
Today's rhythm wouldn't necessarily agree with that.  


I believe in my God,
I believe in the beautiful God inside me.  
(i shall, hence, burn the seeds of shame)
I believe in my breath.


I approach,
remain,
surrender to God.


--Fía

Working with Joy

I've decided to steal the title from my incredibly talented friend Susan Lambert. I've just visited her website www.susan-lambert.com and was once again truly inspired with her work. 


That takes me to today's entry: working with Joy.  It's a concept that has been present in my life a lot recently.  Not just sprouting from within, from my own desire and intention, but discussed with others, heard from others.  Living a life of mindfulness, living a life of love, un-afraid, of truth.  
Contentment: deep satisfaction that enough is enough.  
There is hard work in living, there is a desire of work--I believe in curious spirit of the human being.  I have faith in the good will, in the kindness we all hold in our hearts...to rise to higher places.  That is exactly the key: rise towards...?  
Somewhere along the way this question was crossed-out or considered taboo.  And it all became a race with no direction.  An endless competition where all is allowed--good and bad-- and the attention geared to "who is better?", "who is ahead and behind me?", "how can I be flawless?"


Life is not a race.  
There are no contestants, no rivals.


There is collaboration. 
There is work with joy, trust and empathy.  Shouldn't there be? 
Being flawless is not human.  
Opening to mistakes, opening to feelings and the true desire to connection is. 
It is courageous and beautiful. 
It is seeing true colors.  


Working with joy creates a platform for love, for connection, empathy and compassion.  
Creativity sparks! Gratitude stirs the air! Goodness breaks through! Kindness becomes contagious!
Working with joy,
Working with joy,
--ask yourself the question, no matter how frightening it might seem--


are you working with joy?


--Fía.

Slow down, Handmade

This weekend's special element (to acknowledge and express gratitude): Rhythm.  
More specific, slow rhythm.  
We are submerged in times when everything is demanded with urgency, things must be obtained with immediate result(s), the bridge between demand and supply must be shortened, EXPRESS EXPRESS EXPRESS-GO-GO-GO!!!
how can we make things cheaper? faster?!


I say stop. 
Stop.  Just stop. 
Where are you heading?  
Not only physically where are your current steps taking you? But, what is your direction? 
Lets take quantity out of the equation--or maybe place it in parenthesis-- and take a look at quality.  
Quality of action.
Click! Suddenly a magical spectacle of lightbulbs illuminating significant concepts become apparent: ***mindfulness, awareness, intention, goodness, kindness, gratitude, creation, connection, dedication...and a whole lotta power!***

We hold in our hands great power to supply, encourage, create and build wonderful things! 
Daring to connect with ourselves, 
           allowing to listen, 
                  giving space to silence and inquiry, 
                       discovering our inner voice, inner Self.  
-->Brené Brown eloquently examines and communicates the power of vulnerability--the beauty of living life with openness, courage and truth. (http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html)


All things are subject to change, we hold in our hands the magnificent potential and possibility to experience a life of beauty.  


Let me stick to my title: slow down, handmade. 
So this weekend I indulged in the sweet taste of "slowness".  Usually misinterpreted, massively discarded and wrongly judged--"it's too slow, dammit!!!" 
Creating takes time. 
Change takes time. 
Comprehension takes time.  
Healing takes time. 
Yet time is relative, and that is how i wish to refer to it today--as just time.  Not with a measuring stick.  Forget seconds, forget minutes, hours, days, weeks, years, centuries, etc.  Maybe more like moments of presence.  Moments of mindfulness, dedication, breaths--again, it comes back to quality of actions, in a state of awareness. 
In order to express myself better I classify this weekend's time as "slow", but could also be regarded as "not rushed".  Simple, where the equal-sign (=) of results and expectations surrender to just the journey--which is much more, if not completely, significant. 


I had the pleasure to feel and appreciate it consciously this weekend.  And it all made so much sense.  The flow of things, the life I intend to construct, my direction.  Simple kind of life.  At times it seems like swimming against the river's current, but upstream...over there is where I want to go.  
I held illuminating, heart-felt, courageous, inspiring conversations.  Sharing moments with souls that understand me: from an online-webcammed phone call to several after lunch/dinner tête-à-tête's...
co-creating a new brave world. 
This weekend I felt pure contentment, this weekend I opened my heart, this weekend I witnessed humanity's beauty, strength and courage.  This weekend I experienced with divine beings wonderfulness.  I connected and we created.  
Handmade. 
Handmade creations, 
quality of action.  
Priceless.
How can that be valued?
How can it be measured?
Why should/could it, but only with our hearts? 


I'm not sweet-talking here, it is practical.  Possible. Do-able. 
Breaking old paradigms, cracking mis-fit brain structures.
The New Revolution of Back to Basics. 


Ask questions. 


--Fía.

The Message of Today

I speak from my heart.  Today.  I do so, or intend to do so, every day.  
The sun is shining, it is a clear day with blue skies, the air is friendly, and I sit at the kitchen table after a warm breakfast.  Surrounded by a group of people I love dearly, and Bob Marley's tunes flood the room. 


I breathe in, I literally do so right this second, stop typing.................and give thanks for being here today. It hasn't been easy, and i KNOW it hasn't been easy for others as well. Beings close and far.


For those close by: I've caused a lot of pain to myself, and in consequence have been causing a lot of pain to others-- some who I adore, admire and love beyond the capacity of word descriptions. I apologize. 
I truly, truly do.  


I feel your pain, and that pain lives inside me too.  I'm not insensitive, I am aware, I feel it and I'm working on letting go of the shame it makes me feel.  


Where there is forgiveness there is love, and where there is love, there is God. 


Believe in me when I say that I'm working...working hard, like a little ant...
We shall all breathe in peace, with serenity again.  I know it so.


I don't sink, I float and connect with the sun is shining--let us all do it together.

Our History

It's been on my mind, and i can feel it permeating into my whole system the realization of my new "state of being". 
It has been installed in my rational self for a while now--i intellectualized the concept of leaving New York City, moving to a new life circle (to describe it somehow), beginning something fresh, different.  Intellect held/holds me strong, it is a wonderful tool that provides me order, logic and the ability to ponder upon my circumstances and experiences. 


So, it has been there: the rational intellectual understanding of travel.  
For the past two days, however, i have been feeling something else moving inside me. A kind of liquid that travels through my whole body, resonating in my heart, affecting my skin, stirring my senses, my perception, my breath.  I can't ignore it--i don't want to.  I like to think of it as a deeper comprehension of my existence and my Self. 
Today, as I practiced, I got a whisk of little experiences of New York City: waking up in my bed, feeling the bedsheets I left behind, the place I would usually have my breakfast-perceiving the amount of light I would receive from the window, the smell of my neighborhood, the sound of the metro card as i swiped it underground or in the bus.  The smells, the smells, the smells.  The walks through Central Park.  
Little whisks, but intense, condensed.  As though they were kept in little perfume glass bottles.  Smells that can take me on wild adventures. 


As I experienced all that in my practice, I felt a tiny sting in my heart. For there is a little sorrow lives inside me at the moment. It is healthy and honest of me to embrace it and breathe into it.  Denying it translates to disconnection.  Just as I quoted Kahlil Gibran yesterday (The Prophet), departing, traveling does entail sorrow. It does not mean drowning in it, for it is just one of the wings of the butterfly that makes me fly...the other is joy and happiness. 
And a part of me likes feeling this sorrow...it makes me feel, realize, understand (mind, body and soul) that i'm alive. 


The tiny glass bottles are kept inside me, in my heart, becoming part of my history, part of my life cycle that i shall not renounce or reject. It is my responsibility, i believe, to create history. 
In a fiery conversation last night, at the dinner table, the idea of mindfulness of our actions, our choices was discussed. The details would take more than a couple posts to describe or even explain, but i like to conclude that it is key, today and for the rest of Time, to live in-sync with our beliefs and intentions.  
Not be another sheep in the herd, 
Not step away and play dumb to knowledge, 
Be aware of the law of actions-reactions, 
Understand and act accordingly to our connection with each other, 
Open our perception, fully, to what we are: which is beyond our species and our quotidian-sometimes- superficial needs.  


It is our dharma: responsibility, path, duty, commitment, faithfulness, homage. 


I end with a little "pop" video. Click play, it's quite short and delightfully inspiring!

Departing and Arriving

Yesterday afternoon as I sat besides my mother, in her car traveling back home-- observing the familiar highway, streets, corners of Santiago-- we discussed my return to Chile. 
As we conversed and spoke of our experiences, our thoughts and our sensations, I realized that this "event" in my life is quite profound.  Granted, I believe to be working daily on my awareness, on opening the doors to mindfulness and linking my intentions/beliefs with my actions.  Working on the "now" and the beautiful state of presence. 
Acknowledging all of that, appreciating my efforts, there are things that only time and the mystical magical element of life provide. By "things" i refer to knowledge, epiphanies, moments of true experiences and sensorial findings.  
I've found myself, at times, judging or categorizing myself as a late-reactor.  Things hit me with a certain delay.  I repeat, I judged myself for it: as if living blindly and then boom! what the heck? I was surprised with this feeling or thought..from which i couldn't really deny or escape.  Today I realized that judging is that last thing I actually need, deserve or even spend a mili-second on.  It's my process, it's life process.  It's the actual definition of process, a journey. 
My journey is the work, the on-going practice of ownership, mindfulness and being here. 
***I was surprised when my mother shared with me the feeling of "emptiness" with my departure years ago--which I never suspected.  Comes to show me, shine a light, on the perception of myself.  Information to take in, study upon and work on***


So, zoom back in to sitting in the car with my mother.  What do I feel with my return? How do I feel? Where am I in this departing and arriving?  
I guess my answer is exactly that: departing and arriving. The journey.  It's a journey.  Will the journey ever end? Who knows--and a part of me wants to say "i hope not".  For then there is room to discoveries, to findings, exploring, growth, life! 
I do have a sense of departure: i know i'm physically somewhere else.  I know there have been some losses, a traveling.  
On that same token, I do have a sense of arriving: there are definite gains, findings, touching ground...and a traveling as well. 


I don't want to measure it as "good", "bad", "better" or "worst".  I love where I am.  I want to connect to the love around me, all that has been provided for me, all that i've accomplished for myself, for those around me.  Connect with where I am, that is so full of kindness, divinity and beauty. 
I want to end with an excerpt of The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran.  He commences his book with these wise poetic words...quite appropriate:

"Almustafa, the chosen and the beloved, who was a dawn unto his own day, had waited twelve years in the city of Orphalese for his ship that was to return and bear him back to the isle of his birth.
And in the twelfth year, on the seventh day of Ielool, the month of reaping, he climbed the hill without the city walls and looked seaward; and he beheld his ship coming with the mist.
Then the gates of his heart were flung open, and his joy flew far over the sea.  And he closed his eyes and prayed in the silences of his soul.


But as he descended the hill, a sadness came upon him, and he thought in his heart: How shall i go in peace and without sorrow? Nay, not without a wound in the spirit shall I leave this city.
Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?
Too many fragments of the spirit have I scattered in these streets, and too many are the children of my longing that walk naked among these hills, and I cannot withdraw from them without a burden and an ache.
It is not a garment I cast off this day, but a skin that I tear with my own hands. 
Nor is it a thought I leave behind me, but a heart made sweet with hunger and with thirst.


Yet I cannot tarry longer. 
The sea that calls all things unto her calls me, and I must embark.
For to stay, though the hours burn in the night, is to freeze and crystallize and be bound in a mould.
A voice cannot carry the tongue and the lips that gave it wings.  Alone must it seek the ether.  And alone and without his nest shall the eagle fly across the sun.  


Now when he reached the foot of the hill, he turned again towards the sea, and he saw his ship approaching the harbor, and upon her prow the mariners, the men of his own land.
And his soul cried out to them, and he said: Sons of my ancient mother, you riders of the tides, how often have you sailed in my dreams.  And now you come in my awakening, with is my deeper dream. 
Ready am I to go, and my eagerness with sails full set awaits the wind.  Only another breath will i breathe in this still air, only another loving look cast backward, and then I shall stand among you, a seafarer among seafarers..."

All over the place.

I'm sitting in front of my computer, my fingers placed on the keyboard, ready to begin the dance of typing.  And I sit for a few minutes, motionless.  There are moments during the day when I feel an idea, theme or thought assaults me...things I would like to discuss and open up to here in my blog.  But I commit the crime of not writing them down, having complete faith i'll remember and that it'll all be stored inside me and blossom as I sit ready to write.  
And now i just sat motionless thinking: "what is it that I want to say today?" 


It is breaking the ice.  For I know that as soon as I start pressing down on the keys, I realize that there IS a vast world inside of me to share. It is breaking the ice, because then I can physically feel the energy flow from my center to the tip of my fingers, creating momentum...as though electric current runs through me. 


Then there is not judging, not second-guessing myself and not attempting to achieve some kind of perfect entry. That only paralyzes.  I say this out loud because I realize that it is a matter of letting go, being truthful and again allow myself speak from within. Be not afraid of what I have to say, when I have to say it or how I'm saying it.  The important thing is to say it. 


The same thing goes for actions.  During these moments of more ease and tranquility --that I'm so thankful for-- I've been able to observe. Observe myself, the stillness and movements inside me; my surroundings, the flow of energy, what affects me, how it affects me.  It has been a beautiful experiment.  Observing, focus of mind, directing intentions and then translating to actions.  
I've noticed how (just as I stated in yesterday's post) I do not have much trouble showing enthusiasm and running free with projects and what I'm capable of creating--anyone for that matter. See, I have this belief that we are all capable of anything we really intend to.  Our possibilities, our potential is grand, limitless I dare to say. Our "usage" is actually minimum.  So, what stops us? 
I like to think that I stop myself. 
I'm on this craze that I will follow through with my new inspiration, that it is time to stop leaving my intentions and desires in "dream world" and grab it by the hand, bring it down to earth and allow it to manifest itself.  
The mere idea is inspiration in itself, energy-drive, high-frequency creator.  Static!
It produces an unconventional activity: is it fear? is it madness? it's just discharge.  


You know what i've just concluded? It's a matter of step by step. The rest is overwhelming. 
This is a bizarre, kind of "all over the place" entry.  I have a lot of stimulation going on around me right now--could be part of the reason-- but it's also just where I am right now.  
Step by step.  
Step 1: Paper, pen, idea, brainstorm.  Write. 
Do today. 
Will do. 


--Fía.

Fia

Fia is my name. 

I am a slim--at the moment TOO slim-- creature.

My habitat: planet Earth.

I am currently living in the Southern Hemisphere, South American continent, country Chile, city Santiago.

I am part of a family (direct) of five, I am the middle child. 

Why do I begin stating these "objective" pieces of information? I guess it is under the impression that it might define me somehow, it might "place" me somewhere, classify me, specify my persona? 

If I were in first grade, and the task was to introduce myself, (which is a common exercise) this is probably what might be expected. More details of course. 

Then I say OK, that's a good starting point...but I would actually be more accurate and state: 

"I am a creature of the world.  I might be physically in Santiago, Chile, but I belong to the planet, I belong to the earth, I belong to the universe.  I am life. I have family in every corner where living creatures exist.  I have a heart that feels, a mind that thinks and a faith that loves." 

I've come across the sensation that people today are predisposing themselves or linking to the feeling of loneliness.  Fearing isolation, relating with their hearts to its possibility, complaining about the lack of connection and belonging, therefore...ending up embracing loneliness. 

Which is not the same as being alone. 

Solitude and loneliness.  

   ***Take a second.  Stop what you ever you are doing and just dissect these two concepts, differentiate them and feel (yes, experience) what you discover. 

I find great pleasure in being alone.  It is beyond compare, unparalleled to the act of sharing. It shouldn't be judged as better or worst..but just different. It has been receiving this bad reputation--associating it to sadness, isolation, antisocial, unfriendliness, uncommunicative, emptiness.  These terms are hence connecting to fear and pain.  

I know of such people who are terrified of the thought of silence and being alone.  I do not judge, but I do encourage to rise above, give yourself a chance...

I raise the question: when alone, aren't we most with ourselves? Isn't it a chance to really listen to what's inside, the truth, the love, feelings, thoughts? 

How is that empty in any way? 

Why should that be fearful? 

How is that unfriendly?

Uncommunicative? 

Most answers are found in this paradise, it is bountiful, abundant of exquisite goods and then, when in community, amongst others, all flourishes:providing magnificent aromas, excellent intentions and beautiful actions. 

So, I stand today, humbly but strongly in defense of being alone.  Alone, but connected.  

Hmmm..not the same as connected, but alone. 

I share with you today my pleasure of being alone. It gives me strength.  It really does.  It helps me focus, ground and center myself.  Connect with my intentions, my life practice and my faith. It is unmeasurable how much i find, how much i "do" in my moments alone. I do not feel as though I'm running away, but quite the contrary...arriving, finding, belonging. 

And i repeat, it gives me great strength.  I can experience the miracle of life: where I am my own individual, but with a family in the world, a home. 

It gives me strength to create, it gives me strength to love.  Power which i sometimes can feel yield and subside to fear.  

I stand today, humbly but strongly in defense of being alone.  Try it! 

I stand today, humbly but strongly proclaiming my intention to take into action my intentions and creative impulses.  

I came to the realization this morning in my practice: 

Really...i mean REALLY... no one (but my false fictitious fear) can stop me from what I intend to do. If I live a life of truthfulness, contentment, non-violence, cleanliness--if my actions speak coherently so-- there is no fear. 

I have the power of creating whatever I possibly intend.  

I am a creative self. 

** i guess that would be my first grade answer**

(discovery while being alone).

Fia.

LIGHT

Collaboration, connection, sharing and lightness. 
Lightness--grasping this concept in all it's possibilities.  I've been considering and contemplating on this - what may seem simple- word: Light. 


Light: A natural agent that makes things visible.
Light: A source of illumination--i.e. an electric lamp.
Light: A devise that makes something start burning.
Light: Of little weight, ease in weight.
Light: Gentle or delicate.
Light: Understanding of a problem, spiritual illumination by a divine truth.


I like the word "ease". For it speaks to me of life, movement, flow, natural exchange, peace, tranquility, awareness, stability and acceptance.  This is my flow of consciousness somewhat running free.  These are my free associations.  Language has always fascinated me.  I consider it to be essential and very significant.  It is one of the manifestations of the Self. 
What is our relationship with language? 
How do I speak? 
What are my word choices? 
How do I communicate? 


It pains me when I sense (see, hear, experience) misuse of language: abuse of the wonderful instrument of communication, indecent assault to our element of connection, the lack of consciousness of our mechanism of expression. 
I take another step forward: isn't life, our existence, a magnificent gift? --godly, holy, divine, natural, even fortuitous if you like to think of it as so.  Isn't it, if considered at its most basic measure, an opportunity? An occasion, a window of possibility? 
What for? That is "customers choice".  
I personally like the choice of love.  The choice of goodness, kindness, gratitude, respect.  High frequency of love, of collaboration.  The choice of love and light. 
With this proclamation comes great responsibility.  With responsibility comes effort, discipline, work, sacrifice, struggle, faith.  It is not easy.  
Love and light is not a walk through the park.  It is not white sands, palm trees, turquoise waters, siestas in a hammock. Quite the contrary, I believe.
It implies courage, openness, awareness, self-reflection, evaluation, self-less acts and a great deal of surrender. Surrender of quantifiable results, surrender to locked-fixated expectations, surrender to the innate law that every action entails reaction. Acknowledge that, and then let go. 
Again, not an easy task-- Piña Colada?? no, my friend. 


It is a practice.  A practice of conviction, hopefulness, optimism. A continuous practice.  A conscious practice. A coherent practice. 


Now, how does this relate to what I started writing about minutes ago? It's all connected, and I'll let my mind, heart and lastly my fingers run wild, throwing out a soup of words--lets see where it leads me...it might be an interesting experiment...
Light, no-darkness, 
light, unveil, 
light, deal with eyes open, i rather hurt than walk blind.
light, pain but no fear--what is fear anyway? 
light, myself, i have myself, know myself.
light, pain but NO ignorance
light, life and death. 
light, connection--conversations of truth. Listen, oh the power of listening. 
Talk and listen. Share. 
language, translation of soul, coherence of self, the path starts within, belief in what's inside, 
light, no fear, strength on my beliefs,
light, my path, my practice, no judgement, strength, strength, strength.
Truth, loyalty, no lies. 
Relationships of truth. Relationships with truth. 
Light, colors!  
Beauty. Language again, translation of beauty.
World of beauty. 
Life of beauty, life with beauty. 
Light, unveil. Unveil and observe. Observe and be. Observe, be brave. Dare to be. 
Light 
Light
Light breath.
Light death. 


--Fía. 


INDULGE IN THIS WORLD'S (OCEANIC) BEAUTY: 

1.33 ATTITUDES

The day is gray. The air is cool and not particularly crisp and clear, yet I know the sun is shining above the layer of clouds at its full potency. 
Easily I could get sucked down into the vibration of what is lacking, the uncomfortable, and the non-optimum conditions.  There is always that. 


But there is always the other: what is here, what is breathing, beating, palpitating with life, creating and loving. 


It is a matter of attitude.  What is defined at attitude? Intention? Predisposition? Openness? I like to think of it (and i'm not dictionary, or language expert) as...
can I play mathematician & scientist? I shall, and I'll present it as an equation/formula! 


     **It must be the Carl Sagan influence--i have indulged with my brother his various instructive videos exploring our reality (dimensions), beyond our reality (the cosmos and life) and our existence, our responsibility.**


I urge you to play along... 
Attitude (A)= self-inquiry + awareness + intention (purpose x focus)


Yesterday, I dedicated time to study a particular Yoga Sutra, short aphorisms written by Patañjali, and found myself utterly inspired and submerged in a frequency of positivity and beauty. And I thought...why not share it? Share it out there, to whoever reads this, or just place it out, outside of me for further comprehension and as an active way of practicing what I came across. 
Fear not: it is all connected to this very rational, mathematical equation i've just presented above. (I'm just playing around-- this equation is NOT an ultimate truth in any way) 
For me, life is not an equation, it is not linear, it is not bound by definitions, classifications of any type or form, and mostly not about obtaining results.  It's a journey. 


I digress...
The Yoga Sutra, from Chapter 1, number 33. 
I.33

matrī-karunā-muditopeksānām sukha-duhka-punyāpunya-

visayānām bhāvanātāh citta-prasādanam

"By cultivating an attitude of friendship toward those who are happy, compassion toward those in distress, joy toward those who are virtuous, and equanimity toward those who are non virtuous, lucidity arises in the mind".


Studying further, various commentaries, there are a couple on which to reflect upon (and that I personally admire):
    * "By being a well-wisher toward those who are happy, as well as those who are virtuous, the contamination of envy is removed. By compassion toward those whoa re miserable, that is, by wishing to remove someone's miseries as if they were one's own, the contamination of the desire to inflict harm on others is removed. By equanimity toward the impious, the contamination of intolerance is removed. Consequently, the mind becomes lucid..the mind is clear, one-pointed concentration or steadiness can be achieved." 
   *  "This sūtra prescribes a kind of mindfulness or mental cultivation off the mat, in day-to-day affairs..it is a continuous and constant requirement of the yogic path and spills over into all aspects of life's affairs and social interactions. It speaks to the fact that yoga need not be perceived as a world-renouncing tradition but is perfectly compatible with engaged and benevolent social action in the world." 


Hmmm...
Ahhhh...
Om.


--Fía.

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/robert_thurman_on_compassion.html
EXPANDING YOUR CIRCLE OF COMPASSION

SISTER

I choose love.
This choice comes from the simplest, most basic "definition" of life: birth, love and death. 
Birth and death are certainties..then we are left with love.  
To love? To not-love? That is the question. 
I think master Shakespeare said it well: to be or not to be? That is the question.  
"Being" meaning love. 
Love of/for/with yourself and your surroundings, other(s). That is a choice. 


I choose love. 
I believe in love, and I begin with acknowledgment.  Acknowledgement of beauty, positivity and the miraculous gift of life. The vast universe of possibilities, limitless, boundless and kind. 
I have love around me. 
I have shiny jewels, treasures around me. 
Yesterday I wrote about my brother, that makes my heart sing and shine.
Today I write about my sister.  A gem.  A queen.  Divinity.  Her beauty forever glowing, her energy glittering and flowing in perfection. 
Sister, hermana, companion since my coming to this world. 
My life would be lack luster if you were not here.  
You make the world a better place,
you make me a better being,
you are part of the force that thumps my heart. 


When I choose love, I see you.  For you are love. 
Love, for me, is you. 


I am a creature of faith, where I hold deep and strong a belief in higher nature, higher "powers", and the potency of love.  I've been blessed with your companionship, with your presence, your guidance. 


What would I do without my brother? 
Without my sister? 
I hold in my stream of blood the essential nutrients of fellowship, miracle, holiness. 


Liquid love. 


I acknowledge my fortune.  
I admire, bless, give thanks and mesmerize at what is with me.  
I cherish it, and will not pass this lifetime without dedication to our bond.
Hermanos: I see you. 


--Fía.

BROTHER

It has been delightful to come back home, and reconnect with one of the most beautiful beings I know: my brother. He is my brother beyond our actual family, blood-related bondage, beyond sharing the same parents & beyond our growing up together under the same household. He holds a special place in my heart because of the human being he is, has become, and that i can experience him becoming. 
I love him.
I respect him.
I admire him.

 I've discovered through self-inquiry, and confirmed through exploration and the practice of mindfulness how ultimately we are stardust, energy.  Yes, we possess a physical body, we are living amongst a physical realm of reality, yet it is all ultimately energy-- with mutating vibrations and frequencies.  More and more I can feel that, I comprehend it so, and marvel at this common origin of us all, of the universe. 
I am planet, I am star, I am moon, I am earth, I am water, I am air, I am the trees, I am the animals, I am my surrounding within and beyond my perceiving senses, I am all...we are all.
That is connection.  The vibrations of the North, South, East and West affect me, for I am a part of it all.  

*this takes me to Eve Ensler's powerful speech on how her body is a microcosmos of the world's manifestations: from natural disasters, cries of abuse, violence, torture, ignorance...to laughters of joy, expressions of love and kindness.* http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/eve_ensler.html 

It is a symphony of energy flow, what a beautiful prospect to think about it: how my intentions, attitudes and actions resonate within me and all around me.
Selfless power to influence you, tune in with you and soar with you to higher grounds! 

On a gloomy day I know the sun is shining above the clouds, I connect my vibrations with its fire, I am part of the sun, and I can glow. 

My heart can link to your pain, and together we can energize to the land of contentment.  The element of connection exists. 

 This flow of consciousness leads me back to my brother. My time together with him has been living proof of a deep energetic connection. There is an exchange of ideas, words, feelings...but even more. Much more. There are times when I feel part of his stardust, I can feel, empathize with/share his heartbeat and heart-center.  He makes me happy, makes me stronger. He is my brother...and I feel so fortunate to have him near me today.
I love you.
I respect you. 
I admire you.


 --fía.

All Mine

I’m amazed.  I feel wonderstruck. I have been discovering a new moment in my present living—with a new attitude, intention and an unexpected kind of ease.  An novel, new rhythm.

I haven’t become this zen saint, tranquil woman in some cloud. Pretty far from that actually—and being a zen saint is not my goal.

It’s like…it’s like…

I’ve made this analogy before, it’s like shedding skin, having this newborn layer, super sensitive to all stimuli. Waking up and pulling up the curtains—sun come right in!

You see, I’ve become a complete fan and curious little ant when it comes to how our mind, body and soul work. I hesitated a few seconds before writing the word “soul”.  Is it spirit? Is it heart? Is it faith? All I know is that it is not body or mind. 

Years ago I had a very wise, talented acting teacher who liked to refer to this “subtle body” as “pelotitas de colores” (colorful little pebbles).  They change color, they modify in temperature, the move around—becoming solid clumps, with weight, or statically spread around in complete lightness.

We’ve all felt our little pebbles act and manifest inside us.  They determine and identify as feelings or states of being. 

I know I’ve felt it: sorrow, anger and complete bliss possess different colors, weight, temperature, and even are located in contrasting places.  I’ve felt my pebbles move around or act up: when blushing, when afraid, when excited or in love.  At times hysterical miniscule bubbles, or at times rock solid heavy stones.  All me all the same.

Right now my bubbles are moving all over the place, adapting, re-locating, discovering.

I am where I have never been before. I am, I just am.

I’m struggling to define it—but why should I? And I notice how difficult it is not to do so.  This high-wired programming is strong and deep. Of measuring it, classifying it, judging it.

I am dedicated to being.  It is challenging, my God, it is.

Yesterday I wrote about linking. Linking to a higher state. A higher frequency that I know & feel exists, and that I allow myself to choose.  Allow without criticism, but with contentment and determination.

I confess that it hasn’t been more than a few days. Correction, better choice of words: it has all clicked in the past few days.  Yes, for it has been brewing… hints, lights and sparks have been manifesting for a while, but now this is different.

I attempt not to dissect it, for it is felt. And it is mine. All mine.

I’ve apologized enough, I’ve explained plenty.

Today I had a new revelation, a new click: I’ve been stepping on eggs shells for years. Mistaking it for solid earth. Tip-toeing, shamefully light-touching the floor. It makes sense to the current deep yearning for ground, home, belonging and owning.

I have physically been afraid and apologetic for my footsteps, for my noise, my presence.  I’ve recognized it in past moments—and paid no attention to it, really—and this morning noticed it, fully.

It is such a deep metaphor to my old living.  Wanting “not to be”.  Not be heard, not to seen, to vanish.  And I was truly doing so. My existence was about vanishing. My body, my mind, my pebbles linking to disappearing. My frequency was tuning to fading, which would eventually lead me to passing away.

I don’t feel weak, I feel strengthened and joyful. I feel my frequency rising. My heart ascending, soaring, with faith and love. This new love within myself, to myself. Belonging. This morning’s epiphany showed me that this belonging is inside me. Just as love, faith and God is inside me.  Not outside or somewhere to be found. It is also in my own language, not written somewhere to be read or repeated mechanically.

I step step step step step… with grace,

Fía.