Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Small is BEAU-TI-FUL

It's been going around...
just like the earth has been shaking in different corners of the world, the tides have been moving the bodies of water fiercely and the winds have been swirling and dancing upon cities...
things are shifting.
Shifting and coming back.  Coming back to it's origin.
Origin: in the sense of simple, basic.

My point here is the beauty of simplicity.  The elegant power of the simple. Yoga speaks of it so.

Where have we left the simple?
We live in a world where the economic market is ruling us all.  Everything measured, following the principle of a transaction: a seller and a buyer, a giver and a taker, a "good deal".  It has been working on and on, permeating into our most intimate realm, that of faith, spirituality and emotions.
"I like him/her...is it worth it?"
"I want x...how will i benefit from it?" (even if it means a love partner).

This has all been discussed by philosophers, economists (non-mainstream), thinkers way more experienced and knowledgeable than me.  I just happen to see examples in my everyday life.
It is a challenge, it is a risk, and it demands great courage--just to open my eyes.  But once the veil is slightly pulled away there is no turning back.
Unless fear and hypocrisy step in.
No, thank you.

I've been going around this whole idea for some time now.  I can see, feel, perceive myself struggling with some kind of force that i could just not put a finger on.  It's been moving through me in so many levels I could never have the sufficient clarity to connect it all--but i know it is there.
Sometimes it's a feeling--which surprises me and takes over.
Sometimes it's a conversation--that inspires me and bursts a little bubble, releasing a pinch of epiphany.  Sometimes it's an observation-- the power of nature and it's ongoing order, or an image that is not random..and whoosh! it's there!
Sometimes it's an argument--quite eye opening, painful but revealing.

It's all been brewing inside me, boiling like a cauldron.
At one point I was so insistent on understanding it all..."what is it?"  Then there is resisting and judgement..."there is something wrong with me, clearly".  Then there was hiding and pretending..."if i just ignore it, if i pretend i'm ok, that this is ok, then it will disappear".
Unfortunately I'm far past the childhood stage where you would close your eyes, think of disappearing and actually believe you were invisible.
It was not going away.

I forgot to mention that there was/is tiredness in this big equation too.  Yes, i'm tired.  Tired of what? Tired of struggle, tired of resisting, tired of "the difficult".
Doesn't it sound like there is a missing part to these statements?
Tired of resisting________?
Tired of struggling________?
Tired of the difficult, being________?

That, already makes me tired!
It's a loop, an on-going loop.
But then...then...there is dishwashing!
Praise the Lord, the Universe, Ganesha, the Sun, Moon and Stars for dishwashing.
Most dislike it, most go through various mechanisms to just not do it: take-out, dishwasher, filth.
I love it. Well, maybe not love it--as in i wake up in the morning to do the dishes, but definitely do not mind it.
It's mind-blowing how much the act of feeling warm water run through my hands, how scrubbing and rinsing gets me so in touch with myself.  It provides me ease, it allows a time of intimacy--where it's me and just me.  And some kind of clarity to it all.
So simple. (simple is beautiful)
It's an act of cleanliness, it's an act of kindness and care. (small is beautiful)
And through dishwashing-- specifically this morning I just considered: stop and chill out.
Ok, i'm an idiot to not have thought of that before.  Of course I have.  But with struggle and defiance.
If i let things flow, just like the water through the dishes...with trust, with faith and surrender..things WILL flow.
I've heard talks, i've read a wide variety of books that speak of authenticity, speak of vulnerability, acceptance and trust--but i was struggling so much. Trying to paint by the book, not letting  the stroke be an extension of my soul. Cooking my life through a recipe book.
My life has not turned around in the last couple of hours, or i haven't been reborn, "sán-se-acabó" (it's done).
Self-worth is what i stand up for-- what pains me, what/who damages me shall not bring me down, and shall not be welcome anymore. It is not Ego, it is kindness and love.
I am a miracle in itself.
So is everyone.
It's that simple..and beautiful.

Fía.

**Just this morning I reviewed Yoga Sutra 2.3
"avidyāsmitā-rāga-dvesābhiniveśāh kleśāh"
the obstacles are misapprehension (ignorance), false identity (Ego), excessive attachment, unreasonable dislikes and insecurity (clinging to life). 

** " The key to changing the world, to changing your life, and to empowering those around you is authenticity - the willingness to be yourself - the willingness to be vulnerable - the willingness to feel - the willingness to live. I’m simply reminding you of who you truly are, supporting you into self-love and acceptance by eradicating the judgement that you’ve imposed on yourself and society has opposed on you. " ~ Panache Desai.



Thursday, October 25, 2012

And...Mujica again!

I can't let this pass. It's so beautiful, intelligent, eloquent, honest and essential to our journey through life.  It affects us, it affects our children and the children of our children.

This is the recent speech given my Mujica: Uruguay's President.
** it is in Spanish, but do no fret! I shall humbly translate it in English, so it's message travels far and beyond**
-------

RECIENTE DISCURSO DEL PRESIDENTE URUGUAYO EN RIO DE JANEIRO

El discurso ya se está considerando histórico. Mujica habló ante una audiencia de mandatarios que con desgano escucharon las verdades brutales que les decía. 

Autoridades presentes 
de todas la latitudes y organismos, muchas gracias. Muchas gracias al pueblo de Brasil y a su Sra. presidenta, Dilma Rousseff. Muchas gracias también, a la buena fe que han manifestado todos los oradores que me precedieron.
Expresamos la íntima voluntad como gobernantes de apoyar todos los acuerdos que, ésta, nuestra pobre humanidad pueda suscribir.

Sin embargo, permítasenos hacer algunas preguntas en voz alta.

Toda la tarde se ha hablado del desarrollo sustentable. De sacar las inmensas masas de la pobreza.

¿Qué es lo que aletea en nuestras cabezas? ¿El modelo de desarrollo y de consumo que queremos es el actual de las sociedades ricas?

Me hago esta pregunta: ¿qué le pasaría a este planeta si los hindúes tuvieran la misma proporción de autos por familia que tienen los alemanes? Cuánto oxígeno nos quedaría para poder respirar?

Más claro: ¿tiene el mundo los elementos materiales como para hacer posible que 7 mil u 8 mil millones de personas puedan tener el mismo grado de consumo y de despilfarro que tienen las más opulentas sociedades occidentales? ¿Será eso posible?
¿O tendremos que darnos otro tipo de discusión?

Hemos creado esta civilización en la que hoy estamos: hija del mercado, hija de la competencia y que ha deparado un progreso material portentoso y explosivo.

Pero la economía de mercado ha creado sociedades de mercado. Y nos ha deparado esta globalización, cuya mirada alcanza a todo el planeta.

¿Estamos gobernando esta globalización o ella nos gobierna a nosotros?

¿Es posible hablar de solidaridad y de que “estamos todos juntos” en una economía que basada en la competencia despiadada? ¿Hasta dónde llega nuestra fraternidad?

No digo nada de esto para negar la importancia de este evento. Por el contrario: el desafío que tenemos por delante es de una magnitud de carácter colosal y la gran crisis que tenemos no es ecológica, es política.

El hombre no gobierna hoy a las fuerzas que ha desatado, sino que las fuerzas que ha desatado gobiernan al hombre. Y a la vida.
No venimos al planeta para desarrollarnos solamente, así, en general. Venimos al planeta para ser felices. Porque la vida es corta y se nos va. Y ningún bien vale como la vida. Esto es lo elemental.

Pero la vida se me va a escapar, trabajando y trabajando para consumir un “plus” y la sociedad de consumo es el motor de esto. Porque, en definitiva, si se paraliza el consumo, se detiene la economía, y si se detiene la economía, aparece el fantasma del estancamiento para cada uno de nosotros.

Pero ese hiper consumo es el que está agrediendo al planeta.

Y tienen que generar ese hiper consumo, cosa de que las cosas duren poco, porque hay que vender mucho. Y una lamparita eléctrica, entonces, no puede durar más de 1000 horas encendida. ¡Pero hay lamparitas que pueden durar 100 mil horas encendidas! Pero esas no, no se pueden hacer; porque el problema es el mercado, porque tenemos que trabajar y tenemos que sostener una civilización del “úselo y tírelo”, y así estamos en un círculo vicioso.

Estos son problemas de carácter político. Nos están indicando que es hora de empezar a luchar por otra cultura.

No se trata de plantearnos el volver a la época del hombre de las cavernas, ni de tener un “monumento al atraso”. Pero no podemos seguir, indefinidamente, gobernados por el mercado, sino que tenemos que gobernar al mercado.

Por ello digo, en mi humilde manera de pensar, que el problema que tenemos es de carácter político. Los viejos pensadores –Epicúreo, Séneca y también los Aymaras- definían: “pobre no es el que tiene poco sino el que necesita infinitamente mucho”. Y desea más y más.

Esta es una clave de carácter cultural.

Entonces, voy a saludar el esfuerzo y los acuerdos que se hagan. Y lo voy acompañar, como gobernante. Sé que algunas cosas de las que estoy diciendo "rechinan". Pero tenemos que darnos cuenta de que la crisis del agua y de la agresión al medio ambiente no es la causa. La causa es el modelo de civilización que hemos montado. Y lo que tenemos que revisar es nuestra forma de vivir.

Pertenezco a un pequeño país muy bien dotado de recursos naturales para vivir. En mi país hay poco más de 3 millones de habitantes. Pero hay unos 13 millones de vacas, de las mejores del mundo. Y unos 8 o 10 millones de estupendas ovejas. Mi país es exportador de comida, de lácteos, de carne. Es una penillanura y casi el 90% de su territorio es aprovechable.

Mis compañeros trabajadores, lucharon mucho por las 8 horas de trabajo. Y ahora están consiguiendo las 6 horas. Pero el que tiene 6 horas, se consigue dos trabajos; por lo tanto, trabaja más que antes. ¿Por qué? Porque tiene que pagar una cantidad de cosas: la moto, el auto, cuotas y cuotas y cuando se quiere acordar, es un viejo al que se le fue la vida.

Y uno se hace esta pregunta: ¿ese es el destino de la vida humana?

Estas cosas que digo son muy elementales: el desarrollo no puede ser en contra de la felicidad. Tiene que ser a favor de la felicidad humana; del amor a la tierra, del cuidado a los hijos, junto a los amigos. Y tener, sí, lo elemental.

Precisamente, porque es el tesoro más importante que tenemos. Cuando luchamos por el medio ambiente, tenemos que recordar que el primer elemento del medio ambiente se llama felicidad humana.

Gracias.·



I read this last night, closed my eyes and was grateful.
Now, I let the palms of my hands touch each other, in form of prayer, place it on my chest...and hit send.

For you,
Fía.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Pledge

Today, I want to write a little bit on practice.  Practice understood as an activity-not necessarily physical- that is carried out with a certain focus, with specific meaning, dedication and commitment.  As a lady from the West i believe that our physical realm is more accessible, it turns out to be a useful gateway to deeper waters and awareness. The way this half of the world is being raised: external to internal; segregation of mind and body; and identifying/learning/classifying things in boxes or units, makes us perfect candidates to experience first with our bodies, and then discover the layers of the onion--some thicker, some narrower, some smellier, and some as thin as a butterflies wing.
So practice.
Practice.
Practice.
Practice.

What is a practice? What could be considered a practice?
There is no concrete answer here, no definition, and beautifully, no right or wrong.  It's yours.
It's you and yours.

I do believe that there is one key to practice: honesty, surrender and awareness.

I'm no sage, philosopher, intellectual, thinker or guru--oh no!-- but i have been carrying out a practice for several several years, and have been able to identify the thread that has tied my experience of practice all together: truth, letting go (surrender) and awareness (consciousness).  It seems as though i'm repeating myself here, but i'm letting the words and mind flow; reaching to this conclusion, and putting it down on writing for the first time.  I have held it inside me, doubting it all, then reassuring it all back again, then experiencing it in a new kind of way...but noticed those three stepping stones always there.

I could fill a page with ideas, images, colors, concepts that are involved in a daily practice--or at least mine...maybe i'll indulge myself by sharing some: beauty, anger, impatience, anxiety, calmness, stress, pain, love, kindness, ego, desire, pushing, focus, clarity, fear, disappointment, courage, judgement, trust, gratefulness....
on and on and on.

All these are colors, shades and lights that fill the canvas.  However the piece of art is the whole, what binds them together is awareness--being conscious of you, you and yourself right there.  Checking in, observing, being.  Awareness and surrender-- checking in, observing, being...and not judging.  Judgement like a knife slices and chops it all to disconnected pieces. Not judging, measuring or concluding anything. Awareness, surrender and truth-- waking up, checking in, observing, being, surrendering, not judging, with honesty.

For me, there is no such thing as repetition in practice.  Just like today's sky is not exactly the same as yesterday's, or the day before...just as the oceans tides are never exactly the same, practice is always new. Your body might be following the same "routine", you might be directing your breath in the same coordinated pattern; yet your muscles, tendons & ligament, skeleton & organs are different, the air you breathe, your lung capacity and steadiness of breath is fresh, feels different.

Today i worship practice.  In any shape and form; whenever, wherever, whoever, however. Just as life it's never fixed.
I pledge to a time with yourself, for yourself--how courageous is that nowadays?!
I pledge to practice.
I pledge to awareness, surrender and truth.
** an on-going journey of no right's or wrong's, better's or worse's **

I take a bow.

We are driven by self-interest, it’s necessary to survive. But we need wise self-interest that is generous and co-operative, taking others’ interests into account. Co-operation comes from friendship, friendship comes from trust, and trust comes from kind-heartedness. Once you have a genuine sense of concern for others, there’s no room for cheating, bullying or exploitation.

Dalai Lama.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Turbulents downs and glorious UPS

Ups and downs.
Downs and ups.

The pendulum moves left and right...vigorously, i must add.
As I was wisely told (all my sources shall remain anonymous and mysterious, yet please note the inclusion of the word wisely): the pendulum might be traveling fast and furious from one extreme to the other, yet after that, after visiting its poles, it will naturally lose its momentum and be apt for a balanced middle.

I like that.
I believe that too.
I mean, look at nature...it will find it's balance sooner or later, one way or the other.
We are a part of it too.

There is no "forever stuck" in one place, i believe.  Hence, the importance of awareness and the state of presence. Being truthful to where you are at the present moment--whether it's painful, difficult, challenging, blurred or content, joyful and in-focus-- is essential. It's our thermometer, our pendulum meter.

Here's a little scoop of what my "meter" is telling me: i'm swinging baby! i'm getting the ride of my life, swinging vigorously like a 10 year old at a playground. My high's are high and my low's are low.

Yesterday was a low.
This is not my personal diary and details are really not necessary. It's more of a communicating space, a link to souls, and a place for affiliation.  For i believe i am not alone--no one is.

Yesterday was a low,
hard
blurry
challenging
tight
cold.

What to do? Just stay.  Stay there.
It was not luck or plain coincidence that i happened to run across a little video of Pema Chödrön, where she shared a bit of her life and her relationship with anger and negativity.  She discusses the great power, the huge potential of negativity.

It took her on the journey of Buddhism.
For me, yesterday, was a moment of truth, a decision of being un-veiled; not hiding what was happening, not putting it under the rug, no swallowing it and letting it run through my veins and pump my heart. 

So, i was low. 
Tears.
Closed throat.
Pulled under.

I title this turbulent downs and glorious ups. 
The iron ball at the end of the string of my life pendulum was WHOA stuck at one end! 

Today i'm high. 
Glorious glorious up. 
No psychotropics involved, no fake smile or denial of truth.  The sun is shining, Oxford skies, or if i go local skies of Temuco/Valdivia (an important factor to consider) and I perceive a lightness of being. 

Today i'm UP.
Flexibility.
Air.
Crispy.
Fresh
Blue and green. 

It might be the other end, but there is a balance coming, i'm sure.
There is no getting lost on one side, and after the storm there is most definitely sunshine. 
Life IS made up of ups and downs, to begin with anyway. 
Just as today's breathtaking splendid heaven: electric blue and thick cotton clouds.

Love & Light,
Fía.


















Friday, October 19, 2012

Wagner Mujica Ashram

Good morrow!  The sun is shining...somewhere up above this white cloud mattress.  The sky is always blue and clear and the sun is always there.  It just happens that today the rays are not winning the battle.  The battle, not the war. 

Another morning in my Ashram.  That is what i've decided to call the physical, emotional, spiritual state of being.  Because it IS emotional and spiritual.  It somewhat always is: when we find ourselves somewhere, we are not only physically there--there is mind, emotion and spirit.  Whether it's the beach, in a classroom, in an office, at home, on the subway or a high end bar. 

Ashram: 
Traditionally, an ashram (Sanskrit/Hindi: आश्रम्) is a spiritual hermitage. (YES!) Additionally, today the term ashram often denotes a locus of Indian cultural activity such as yoga, music study or religious instruction, the moral equivalent of a studio or dojo. (Been doing all of the above-- my study has been a bit more global: today, it's Wagner for example)
An ashram would typically, but not always, be located far from human habitation, (umm..not so much) in forests or mountainous regions, amidst refreshing natural surroundings conducive to spiritual instruction and meditation.(I can see usually see the Andes from my window- does that count?, but oh how i yearn for forests!) The residents of an ashram regularly performed spiritual and physical exercises,(the latter, not so much) such as the various forms of Yoga. (Yoga is part of my life) Other sacrifices and penances, such as Yajnas were also performed. (Sacrifice, yes...beautiful sacrifice) Many ashrams also served as Gurukuls or residential schools for children. (The residential school of Life...and French!)
Ashrams have been a powerful symbol throughout Hindu history and theology. Most Hindu kings, until the Middle Ages, are known to have had a sage who would advise the royal family in spiritual matters, or in times of crisis, who was called the rajguru, which literally translates to royal teacher.  (i DO have my royal teachers, although not quite an empress) A world-weary emperor going to this guru's ashram, and finding solace and tranquility, is a recurring motif in many folktales and legends of ancient India.
So my own little Ashram it is.  Yesterday was another important day.  It was nerve-wrecking, difficult, challenging, scary and yet beautiful.  The feeling of vulnerability, the terrain of honesty and new.  The light is shining, guiding my way, I just need to trust it and surrender.  Day by day I go.
Day by day I wake and struggle, for the struggle has not subsided.
Sometimes, mostly, incomprehensible, not understood. 
Until the struggle is gone, succumbed by love and life. 

Inspired by the genius mind, the mastery of Wagner--each chord, each beat pulling me up.  
Music, an expression of human soul: tension, conflicts, romance, flow, give and take, crisis, love, climax, fire, love, resolution--be what it may be. 
Wagner.

Another master of human soul: Mujica.  Uruguay, oh Uruguay, you have a wise mind behind/in front and all around you.  
Mujica:
Your clarity shall inspire us all, shall defend us all from the overpowering hands of greed and false richness. 
Just like i pray each morning to the sun, to bathe with it's shining rays of light, i admire you and open up to your brightness. 
Mujica.
http://www.infobae.com/notas/676685-Mujica-Los-mejores-luchadores-son-los-que-dejan-gente-que-los-suplanta.html


Viernes!
Friday!
Vendredi! 

Fía.

  

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

CIRCUMSTANCE

I just wrote a whole sentence on the weather.  I usually begin with the weather, as a habit of placing myself in some kind of context.  Could it be my theatre training where the study of a play, scenes, characters circumstances are essential?
I think it just responds to the study of life.  For that is what i would probably narrow theatre analysis as: (in BROAD terms) the examination of human life, in all it's expressions/manifestations.  Whether it's abstract writing, absurd, classic, contemporary, symbolic, etc...it's all about human life-- a gathering of a group of individuals, the story of one, a social event...all at a given place and time; hence: circumstance. 

I don't know where this discussion is leading me, but i'm just letting the fingers type, the mind to flow and soul to speak.  

Whoops... blank.
....
.......  
It's also because i'm multi-tasking...trying to define a playlist from which to listen to as background, thinking about an important thing i must organize and get down in paper, then breathe and let my soul speak.  Don't really know how deep my soul is speaking at the moment.  
But let's see: playlist, check! what must be organized, let it go...later.  Now, write.

I don't like living like a checklist, but I have to admit that they do work well with me.  As I was told last week, I have a pretty good control, organizing, directing and focusing management.  Then there is this other side of me which cannot stand living under rules or constraints.
Funny, thinking of the moment i'm living right now...

(Big parenthesis here: left the house, ran an important errand, visited Em, lunch, a little organization here and there--a green/strawberry/lemongrass tea-- and i'm back)

Afternoon.  Sun rays feel different, inclination and location of the sun has changed, the day's temperature is now established, there is an overall feeling of "the wheel already has been spinning".  Not like the early morning when things are bright and crisp, curious! and a bit more spontaneous.

I spoke to one of my dearest friends on the phone this...noon?  Right at the turning point of morning and afternoon.  She filled me with joy, energy, wisdom and most of all focus.  Her eloquence always astounds me and inspires me.  I've mentioned it to a few people: she seems a bit out of this world.  Her timing is quite peculiar, her energy so interesting, her being so unique.  The more i think of it, the more i confirm her extra-ordinary unique beauty.
Peculiar how I started mentioning circumstance, for big part of the conversation danced around that very same topic.  Not a literary scientific analysis, but a dance.  Subjective, open to interpretation.  Where we are, how we are.  The moment of the past, the present moment and a focus of a future.  All about the place and time.  Isn't timing everything? Timing and place?
Being at the right moment at the right time.
Stars aligning?
The Universe speaking?
Open heart?
State of Consciousness?
Crisis?

All speak of the same, some way or another, epic moments of presence.
Epiphanies.
Slight glitches, star explosions of true awareness.
Stormy skies cracking open.
A flock of geese flying by.
Batting your butterfly eyelashes.
A whisk of freshly cut grass.
A shooting star.
The now.

An ode to circumstance.  A calling to assessment.
Circumstance.
Circumstance.
Circumstance.

* my acting teacher would be proud.




Sunday, October 14, 2012

SHAKE THE DUST

The ways of the Universe. 
The Universe speaks...who listens? 

My personal life has been undergoing deep transformation.  Not all of it coming to the surface...yet.  I find myself in the land of quiet. Quiet not meaning deaf or soundless.  There is always sound, waves of energy, frequencies that come and go, give and take.  
A big theme of my current state of being has been: false identifications of the Self.  It's not the first time i come across this idea or precept; however, i do feel it's the first time i'm comprehending the depth of what it suggests--putting some heart into it.  
Before being wise words on a page, or profound words of a teacher..now true life experience.  It all makes sense, it all comes together when yoga stipulates: practice, practice, practice; or when the wise Manfred Max-Neef discusses the difference between "understanding" and "comprehending". (entender y comprehender). 
*Manfred Max-Neef right now is very present in my life right now.  If you don't know who he is, take the time to find out!*

False identification of the Self.  
Who are we? 
I guess it's somewhat of an existential quest that connects us all--somehow, somewhere, sometime. 
We analyze and over-analyze, classify and over-clasify, qualify our answer.  Breaking it down, the beautiful indescribable extra-ordinary substance/soul we possess becomes reduced to some definition and an element of trade. 
"I'm worth this much, what do you offer?"
"I'm not worth this or that"
"My love is worth...(fill in the blank)"

I just came across a saying in the newspaper: "Compro, luego existo" (my translation: i buy, hence i exist")
It's sad...and it's true.  What you buy, where you buy, when you buy, how much you buy--defines us? 
It's how deep the current economic system has invaded us.  Us all. 

False identification of the Self. 
Is my personal theme at the moment.  What have I been identifying with? How have I been defining myself and considering myself?  I take it a step forward/further/deeper..or towards a different direction: isn't this race towards definition and the fixation of having to place myself in a certain box, respond to certain standards, limiting my full expression of Self? 
It's like deconstructing a beautiful symphony into sections, parts, beats...and the soul, the music is gone.
I want to challenge the fixated pursuit of analysis and standardization, and excite my taste buds with emotion, presence and the unknown.  
A different thermometer.  

SHAKE THE DUST!


Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Mantra: Give and Receive

This was written last week, but due to external events--such as bell ringing indicating the school day was over, visits to lovely niece Emilia, weekend, etc-- these words never experienced the act of publishing until now. However, they are still me, alive in me...and it goes:

I have a slight intuition that today will be kind of scattered.  The day has been unfolding quite well--with ease and energy.  Yesterday we were granted with dark clouds, misty air and cool breeze.  Today, the breeze is still cool, the dark clouds have been blown away leaving a light layer of white skies, the mist is gone replace with a shining sun that pops in teasingly.  Colors are back.
I like to think that colors, temperature and in the end light have a deep impact on my state of being.  I feel light, i feel colorful and I feel upright--like a curious meerkat!

I say scattered because due to this energy flowing inside and around me I can sense my mind working quicker, making connections here and there.  I feel active, almost as though i'm trying to keep up with myself!

So today i don't know how much sense I'm making, i don't know where this will end..but i kind of like that feeling.  I just know something is happening, and I like to feel alive. A participant of something, an active heart in the grand cosmic web.

I've also been interacting with young adolescents, full of energy, and laughter static.  It's a bit contagious.  I'm being a chemistry teacher today-- making "my students" work on complicated worksheet filled with formulas and problems to solve. Nonetheless i establish dialogue with them, i relate to them, i connect (even if it's through observation, gestures or simple eye contact).  And again, I feel a part...of something...of everything.

Being a teacher, having time to read, research, connect, brainstorm, reflect, think and FEEL has been kind of a gift because although i love doing all of those things i sometimes play tricks on myself and get too involved in the "doing".  Not that all of the above were/are not "doing".  It's something i'm working on and I don't have to be impatient or unkind to myself.
In fact, I need all that implies tranquility, ease, well-being, and feeling good.  Spinning the wheel on the other direction.

So, i want to share a few things.  To those that are reading me, or even as a way to express my gratitude, admiration and contentment on what shares my view of life.  I send these vibrations, I send this good energy out to the world, from deep inside.  I just feel I want to and need to.

There is a project, a little organic business happening in my beautiful bountiful country Chile: Granja Orgánica.  They praise the land, the earth and life.  They comprehend the act of giving, the act of worship, and the beauty of receiving.  They are just one more manifestation of love, that according to me, is beyond agriculture and farming.  I support their work.  This to me speaks of a better world.  This to me illustrates the road towards transformation.  
www.facebook/granjaorganica
www.granjaorgánica.cl

I've been experiencing the wonders of Krishna Das' kirtans lately.  Kirtan, in my very humble respectful words, could be described as a call & response prayer in form of a chant.  They are usually in honor of an Indian deity.  The call begins, the response repeats and off it goes into a wave of energy that builds up in a climax and then slows down naturally.  There isn't much i can say that can portray what happens..it's an experience.  Krishna Das has an interesting story (being from the West) and I happen to enjoy his work, support his passion and intentions.  
www.krishnadas.com/about.cfm

Experience!


I work each day on opening my heart.  I work each day on building foundations.  I work each day to come closer to truthfulness, ease, compassion and contentment.  These are all foundations to/for life, things for which i should not feel pain, guilty or ashamed. 

***Fía.