Haven't written much, and it hurts a little.
I go through intense moments when all i want to do is stop--stop the world and just sit down and write.
Whether it is an idea, an image, a sound, a feeling, a desire, or maybe tell a little story.
Life has been touching me deeply.
Deeply, and in new places.
I love to feel alive.
I love to feel. It's scary, and I scare myself as well. Moments of true courage, of no refrain, of losing control. Allowing yourself to burn, hurt, laugh, shout, dance, scream, squeeze, soothe, caress.
We have been brought up to be so proper.
"Proper will bring goodness."
"Be proper, be good."
Proper will lead you to success. Proper is what you must, will and have to be.
I say: dare a little.
Give a little.
Be deaf a little and yet hear with your fingertips.
Listen with your lips.
Dare.
Dare, knowing the dare.
Take charge, which is not the same as saying: "be in charge".
If you gave in for a second. If you act, respond, react to this unspoken law. What will it make you?
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
RESOLUTIONS
"People change because their minds have been opened or their hearts broken"...
Just came across that quote, created by who knows who. I'm at a loss. Do I believe this? Something makes me hesitate to agree fully with this affirmation. Haven't quite discovered it yet--which probably is not entertaining for a blog entry, since I guess it is to write about discoveries or some kind of epiphany, or something!
I've noticed--which i love -- that I usually have sat in front of the screen with my ten fingers placed in the position, ready to type, and then having absolutely no idea what to write about.
It's just writing for writing: for the desire, the need, the curiosity.
Anyway, I digress.
"People change because..." I think that is the part I don't quite agree with, or am not fully seduced with. I think i'd rather say people grow. Growth requires mind cracking and/or heart shattering. It's not the same thing as change. I can change my pair of pants. I can change my hair style. Change my home, my nail polish, even my fashion, but it does not necessarily mean growth.
I'm talking about growth here, fundamental growth. And yes, of course there must be change involved, inevitably.
I couldn't care less about this quote, and now feel somewhat turned off about this whole analytical ordeal. But my true intention and my thoughts are that people should strive to grow. Work on it, work for it.
I've noticed that. I'm an observer. I can say that passionately. I'm crazy over it. Watching, noticing, spying. And through this watching I notice how little people really look. Marching soldiers from point A to point B, abandoned bodies who travel with no awareness. This is harsh for me to say, and I'm a bit of a jerk to generalize. I walk through streets and see the focal point of my fellows-- down, almost always down. I sit and watch, and there is uneasiness of being with themselves, alone. Whether it be iPhone, Smartphone, headphones, smoking. All to distract, all to avoid, all to escape.
I admire, I am dumbfounded, head over feet, rejoiced when I encounter someone that has cracked open. Who is working, struggling, questioning, even wondering about unveiling...just unveiling--themselves, the world that holds them. Big questions, big shifts, big challenge, facing fears of all fears. Be available to crack, break.
As an actor I was trained for details. Trained to specifics.
Yoga has exposed me to questions, yoga has brought me back to my breath. Take off the veil of habits, false identities, fear. Unmask the phony belief that we must work to produce, to obtain and reach for something external that will guarantee us and classify us as successful. The void of happiness. Coca-cola.
This year i've learned a lot. I've faced fears, I've been brave. This designated date of end/beginning, of turning over, is beautiful. It's not easy to stop and reflect, analyze and feel. Challenges to encounter, walls to break (or at least to begin chipping through). Let us all crack our minds a little open, and allow our hearts to break.
Fía.
Just came across that quote, created by who knows who. I'm at a loss. Do I believe this? Something makes me hesitate to agree fully with this affirmation. Haven't quite discovered it yet--which probably is not entertaining for a blog entry, since I guess it is to write about discoveries or some kind of epiphany, or something!
I've noticed--which i love -- that I usually have sat in front of the screen with my ten fingers placed in the position, ready to type, and then having absolutely no idea what to write about.
It's just writing for writing: for the desire, the need, the curiosity.
Anyway, I digress.
"People change because..." I think that is the part I don't quite agree with, or am not fully seduced with. I think i'd rather say people grow. Growth requires mind cracking and/or heart shattering. It's not the same thing as change. I can change my pair of pants. I can change my hair style. Change my home, my nail polish, even my fashion, but it does not necessarily mean growth.
I'm talking about growth here, fundamental growth. And yes, of course there must be change involved, inevitably.
I couldn't care less about this quote, and now feel somewhat turned off about this whole analytical ordeal. But my true intention and my thoughts are that people should strive to grow. Work on it, work for it.
I've noticed that. I'm an observer. I can say that passionately. I'm crazy over it. Watching, noticing, spying. And through this watching I notice how little people really look. Marching soldiers from point A to point B, abandoned bodies who travel with no awareness. This is harsh for me to say, and I'm a bit of a jerk to generalize. I walk through streets and see the focal point of my fellows-- down, almost always down. I sit and watch, and there is uneasiness of being with themselves, alone. Whether it be iPhone, Smartphone, headphones, smoking. All to distract, all to avoid, all to escape.
I admire, I am dumbfounded, head over feet, rejoiced when I encounter someone that has cracked open. Who is working, struggling, questioning, even wondering about unveiling...just unveiling--themselves, the world that holds them. Big questions, big shifts, big challenge, facing fears of all fears. Be available to crack, break.
As an actor I was trained for details. Trained to specifics.
Yoga has exposed me to questions, yoga has brought me back to my breath. Take off the veil of habits, false identities, fear. Unmask the phony belief that we must work to produce, to obtain and reach for something external that will guarantee us and classify us as successful. The void of happiness. Coca-cola.
This year i've learned a lot. I've faced fears, I've been brave. This designated date of end/beginning, of turning over, is beautiful. It's not easy to stop and reflect, analyze and feel. Challenges to encounter, walls to break (or at least to begin chipping through). Let us all crack our minds a little open, and allow our hearts to break.
Fía.
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