Silenzio

 A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take a bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples, smiled and asked:

 'Why do people shout in anger shout at each other?'

 Disciples thought for a while, one of them said,'Because we lose our calm, we shout.'

 'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.'asked the saint

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.

Finally the saint explained, .

'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

 What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small...'

The saint continued,'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper'n they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other'n that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

He looked at his disciples and said. 

'So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.”

I came across this story weeks ago and something trembled inside me. 
Trembled out of comprehension. The necessity of us to raise our voice. Is it a call for connection?
Is it a yearning of closeness? 
A loss of communication? 

Silence.
Silencio.
Silenzio.
Stille.

A universal call.
A moment of pure understanding.
An instance of listening, belonging, giving and receiving.

Vulnerability shows its face.
Do not fear.
Simplicity salutes you.
Welcome it.
Peace is acknowledged.
Surrender.

You belong.
I belong.
We belong.
I exist because you exist.
We co-exist.

Is this love that abounds me,
you,
it all?
The blaze of love is bursting me.
Is love this sweet and sour?

A blade is cutting,
a blade of grass is passing right through me.
It cuts and heals.
It makes my chest pound forward and up,
back and down.

There are waves to this silence.
There are colors.
There is movement to our hearts binding.
There is flow.

You belong.
I belong.
We belong.
Silencio.

fía.

Salty Fingertips

I am literally peeling pistachios at the moment.  My fingertips are slightly white (from the residue of the shells and salt).  I have before me a jar of the most beautiful greenish-purplish nuts.  These will later become part of home-made granola for a sweet dear friend of mine.

As i decided to peel, i thought i'd look at listen to some music, but then remembered "hey! there was this TED video i've been wanting to see...".
So i hit play.

It made me cry.
It made me shake.
It made me smile.
It made me sigh.

It interrupted my peeling activity, indeed.  Made me lick my fingers, making me twitch and quiver from the salt..but all that doesn't matter.
I just had to write.

Write about the wonderfulness (does that word even exist?) of what we are, of who we are.  The wonderfulness of who i am. Just like you. And the person next to you, or the person walking past you, or the last person you say or even thought about!
I am wonderful.  Where i am is wonderful and beautiful and sublime and powerful.
There is, what i like to call, an "instinctive" "innate" "inherent" feeling of connection we all have.  Some are in the sleep-mode, others have an unreliable network, others are privileged to have a high-speed-ongoing connection. But i doubt someone to be lacking the power to connect or that is just completely offline.
What i'm trying to say is that we all, in some sort of internal fiber, know/feel a part of something..something bigger.  And there is no doubt in my mind that we all want good, as opposed to bad. It's just a matter of focus.
Let us all unite in the calling of peace.
Let us all join the song of love.
Let us all surrender to beauty,
Let us all be seduced by irresistible love.

What do you choose?

Love of a Cricket

Crickets and their burden of good luck.
Is there such thing?
Carrying the weight of spectacular creatures that provide wealth, richness, good fortune.
What about their own well-being?
Maybe it's the finding of a specific leaf to nibble, a tasteful grain of soil, a warm safe home.  
Or maybe a lovely drop of water?
               moments of silence/silence of the night/night becoming morning/morning is still dark/darkness at stillness coming to an end/end of sleep for others/awaiting for the sun.  Sun wake up, moon go to sleep.  
               moments of silence and i feel a profound connection of this home of mine, that hold me and so many other creatures.  It's such a heartfelt feeling that i must give myself a moment to just breathe. It's as if i can hear the heartbeats of all of us. Hundreds, thousands, millions, billions, zillions. It makes me feel so tiny, yet so significant. A cricket of my own. Could i ever be a lucky charm of someone, something?
                moments of silence. Stillness. And i think, feel, stories: Love of a Cricket.

Love of a Cricket
Cricket- Gryllidae is my name.
Chirping is my gift. 
Chirping to attract you.
I rub my wings for you, love.

I can feel you close, please come.
I sing to you, please come.
We only have a year, at the most,
Come.

The night is quiet,
the night is quiet and warm.
We are lucky, do you know that?
We are lucky for being us.
I am lucky to have you. 
Please come..?

While others sleep we can love.
It might be contagious,
let us inspire.

I feel you, please come.
Fiery goddess, please come.
Is that you?
Come, come.
I'll defy spiders, lizards, tortoises and frogs.
Come.

The blazing Sun will make us glow.
A night of passion.
An affair of 365.
Listen, listen,
Come, come
Come.

Shmiling

Sometimes i wonder whether i'm somewhat odd...or maybe a little crazy or just plain silly.
What makes me think so?
Well, i feel things, i think upon things that are extra-ordinary; hence, sometimes (i can't be so unfair with myself to say always) i think back and can't help sighing or shaking my head as a gesture of : "oh, that was kind of stupid".

It's when you're struggling with sleep: you move your legs around, your feet are constantly dancing with the sheets, you close your eyes, you open your eyes, you look at the time...the night is endless AND any sort of problem, any kind of trouble, just seems like the end of the world--making you feel anxious, nervous, worried, desperate.
Don't fight it. Embrace it. You're not sleeping.
I don't fight it. I embrace it. I'm not stupid or silly or crazy.

I've written before about my sensitivity, so i won't get into that.  But it is a major point in my life, and just like my gorgeous friend said to me (all the way from Dresden) i shall embrace it.  I embrace the important role my senses play in my life, i embrace my old-lady.  Because i am one, in a way. It gives me great pleasure to sit with someone, share a moment of good conversation, maybe in the company of some wine, feeling each other, sharing with each other. Yum.
Or walking. Just walking...and talking, or maybe not even.

Today i had a few starry moments of bliss. Little milestones in the day that made my heart sparkle and now, as i lay in bed typing, make corner of my lips curl up and smile.

Moment 1: gardening. Barefoot, scissors in hand, a bag and a little basket. Watering my plants, running my fingers through every one of them: cleaning leaves, cutting old branches, singing to them, and collecting little fruits (such as tomatoes, strawberries and wheatgrass).
Moment 2: Emilia. My little sweet, precious niece.  Alone in the living room, playing with her feet and caressing her tiny toes. Kisses included. Feeding her and sharing a moment of pure, focused staring at each others eyes.
Moment 3: Walking home in the afternoon.  Sun is shining, but giving off more light than blazing heat. Slight breeze on trees. Sidewalks somewhat empty. Breathing the air and feeling the skin of my arms, being aware of my whole body. Breathing and walking, at times, with my eyes closed. Giving in.
Moment 4: Kitchen. Cooking a tomato-basil brown rice. Cutting fresh vegetables. Music. Singing and slightly dancing. Hands smell of fresh basil, i repeat a song again and again and again (3 times). It's sensual and inviting.

Those were my moments today. And i thank my senses for taking them in. I feel alive.  Something urged me to write these words before entering the world of dreams...
This turned out to be a bit of a personal blog.  Fia's World.
Love & Light!

** does it intrigue you what song i listened and sang to this afternoon? HIT PLAY!

Sacrifice

Sacrifice-

In my moments of reflection, which usually happen early in the morning when it's still dark outside or late at night--when the light in my nightstand has been turned off and i'm left lying horizontally, eyes shut with the soundtrack of the night playing in my ears.
During these moments i think on life--the flow of it all.  The giving and receiving, the actions and reactions, the in and out, the balance.

And boom! There comes this big word: Sacrifice.
I've read about it, i've given it a lot of thought, and i've questioned:

How does "sacrifice" fit in my life? In my daily life?
With pain?
With distress?
With exhaustion?
With Truth?

There is the usual, conventional notion of sacrifice of giving something up, and getting something better in return.
The Vedas and Upanishads (most ancient Hindu philosophical texts) stand behind a different point of view towards sacrifice: it is something to be offered, not lost.  It is given without the expectation of giving something up.
Also conceived as a wisdom that is gained without begging.

It took me a while to truly grasp what these words meant.  **Note: i'm in no way saying that i've mastered or even fully grasped the concept of sacrifice.  
In today's world, where there is an air of selfishness and ambition governing us all, the plain idea of sacrifice is out of the equation of life. Just considering the key word of such statements-- offering?! 

It pains me, it really does, when i perceive the loss of human touch..of human spirit!
in relationships, in work atmospheres, in essentials such as health and education. It's not about the wellness anymore, who cares about the sick or the child? 
"Can they pay the bill?" 
"Yes?" 
chi-ching!
"No?"
bam (door shut in the face)

I sometimes feel a slight crazy questioning it all and feeling truly affected. I wouldn't renounce to it, by any means, but just fall into this state of awe when i see how those who have the political, economic and social power to change things are so removed. 

Here is my bizarre perception of life. I can't find another way of describing it but in abstract images and feelings.
Play along with me here:

It's as if life happened in frequencies.
How does that work?
Ok, let me set the scene-- just like a theatrical play.
There is space and time, inevitably.  Life is running through me and through us all in a determined frequency.  The high frequency of life.  This wave of energy exists in itself and is pure knowledge, pure consciousness-- stable, at ease, strong and light.
Then all the creatures of the world run through their own frequency, their own wave--varying in length, intensity, even color.  They are all a part of life energy, come from it, just not always in tune with it.
So there is this orchestra, symphony of waves--some are dissonant, some harmonious, some completely flat, others in permanent  rest.
And it's OK.  It's all changeable, it all varies..there lies the beauty of it all.

It is important though to take a moment and check the frequency.  Take a moment of abstract thinking, of assessment and contemplation.  Some things, habits, are deeply engrained--set in automatic.  And time does make us more and more rusty.  We all know how age affects our physical realm..it's not quite different with our psyche.
It takes courage and a huge act of sacrifice to produce true change. An act of surrender, offering--with no expectation or begging behind.  

Why am i writing about this? I have no concrete answer.
I'm on a journey, where i work and gear towards stability, joy happiness and love.  SUPER-objectives as a former acting teacher would call them.  
Sacrifice is most absolutely one of my objectives that will lead me to the SUPER one.

Love & Light,
Fía.