Darte Luz

Somos seres de luz.
We are beings of light.  Energy.

Break us down to it's minimal level, beyond atoms, beyond protons, neutrons and electrons-- we are energy. 
Cómo nos golpeamos la cabeza por lo material: lo que tenemos, lo que no tenemos, lo que somos y lo que queremos ser, cómo queremos ser. 
We go around bumping heads, beating ourselves up with what we have, what we don't have, what we are, what we want to be, how we want to be. 

Nos une la luz.  Nos une la energía que atraemos, que mutamos en nosotros y repartimos. 
Light brings us together. We are bonded by light--that which we attract, repel, receive, twist and turn, share. 

Donde hay luz hay obscuridad. La belleza los opuestos, la fe en lo opuesto. Siempre hay posibilidad de otro, de lo contrario, de rendirse y probar lo desconocido y distinto.  No hay sino que nos condene, no hay presente que no escurra y no se vuelva pasado. 
El elemento de fe, el poder de abstracción de estimar, decidir, confabular y encaminar. 
Where there is light there is darkness. The beauty of opposition, faith in the existence of the opposite.  There always lies amongst us something else, the other, the possibility of surrendering and trying the unknown, the different, the unusual.  There is no designated star, no oracle that condemns us.  There is no such things a present that does not slide through us and doesn't become past.
Faith, hope. The power of the abstract, of estimating, deciding, confabulating and directing.

Toda actividad y acción atrae, recibe, encapsula, comparte, entrega energía.  Desde lo que se considera innato, mecánico--como la respiración--recorre este flujo.  Actos complejos se atan al flujo energético. 
Luz. Frecuencia. Vida.
El acto de amar, en el reino físico como el emocional, es un pasar de energía. El ir y venir, el alejarse para acercarse, el entregar y recibir, el entrar y salir. 
Dar Luz.
Every action attracts, receives, holds, shares and delivers energy.  From what might be considered innate, habitual and mechanical--such as the breath--undergoes this flow.  Complex, compound actions all bind to this energy flow.
Light. Frequency. Life.
Love. The act of loving, both in the physical and emotional realm, sums up to a passing of energy.  The coming and going, the stepping away to come close, the giving and receiving, entering and exiting.
To Give Light.

DAR LUZ- (Elizabeth Morris)
Sombra no me dejes sola
no te vayas con el viento.
Puedo ser también tu sombra
dibujar tus movimientos,
ya no sé cómo explicarte
que tu lluvia me hace falta
que me ate al dulce veneno
de tu amor que se me arranca.

Dices que tienes miedo
que no te atreves a amar de nuevo.
Yo solo quiero darte luz
cobijar tus sueños,
abre esa ventanita del corazón
que has olvidado
antes de que amanezca
quiero saber si estas a mi lado.

Lluvia, mójame despacio
cada vez que estés desnuda
yo también puedo mojarte
repartir mi danza muda.

Dices que tienes miedo
y de repente desapareces,
yo me quedo en silencio
como tantas veces.
Abre esa ventanita del corazón
que estoy llorando.

I love you morning

Waking up before the crack of dawn.  
After silencing my alarm clock I lie on bed for a few minutes. What day is it? What is going on? 
Checking in with this world, saying farewell to world of dreams. 
New adventures to encounter, new obstacles to endure. 
OK. GO. 

I love mornings. 
I love love mornings.

I have been experiencing this new energy run through me. It has another quality. It's a giggle, it's electric.  It's like water running in, out, through.  It's also smoke, slowly covering every inch of my body. It's playful, it's sensual, it's creative. 
The feeling of being an animal.  The feeling of being instinctive, being alive and aware of what's going on around. 
The static winds have been driving me crazy with excitement. Wanting to go out and let it swirl me. Hit my face, breathe it in. 
The rain has shown me power. Has shown me about rhythm, waves of water; shown me the beauty of listening, waiting, letting go.

Today the mountains have shown me greatness. Beauty. Magnificence. 
The Andes today are pure art: provoking a range of emotions in me. Wanting to stand and stare. 
I love you morning. 

* Fía.

I fall

A drop of wine.
A round thick burgundy drop.
Luscious drops that blush my cheeks, heat my body.

I'm not much of a drinker, but there are moments when it surely is a good companion.

There must be a reason for my allusion to wine. It might be the predicted rain for these next two days that make me want to run and hide in some remote place surrounded by nature, by a chimney, a bottle of wine and some nice company.
The light and heat of fire, surrounding my skin, dancing in front of me.

My eyelids slowly open and close...each minute making the opening and closing a bit longer. I feel my body, my mind, surrendering to the possible impossible. To the possibly maybe. Where I can travel, visit, experience with no boundaries--no time, no beginning or ending, no consequences or fear.
I speak different languages, I speak with no words. I meet the forbidden, I reach the unreachable.
And blink, blink, blink.
I'm giving in, I give in, I surrender and fight no more.
How nice and seductive it feels to let go and fall into the arms of night.
To fall into arms, fall into you.

You conquer me.
I follow.
I breathe you.
I suck your air, which makes me dizzy.
Head over feet.
I smoke you in,
I drop my head back.

How much longer can I resist?

I fall into you.

Far Away, So Close

So much has been said about this idea.  So close and yet so far...and vice versa, far away so close. 

I think this is a nice way of pointing out that the physical world is only one dimension to things, and that inversely, real connection, true bonding, close hearts can sometimes not necessarily touch.

I write out to i don't know who.  I sometimes feel like it's a direct voice to someone/something. Sometimes it is just a voice to myself. Sometimes it's just a crystallized drop from my inner fountain, without a receiver. 
Still i write.  From a place where mind meets heart meets body. 
I feel things. My words arouse me.
Never been so truthful. 

Far away so close.
You are.
Far away so close.
My dream.

Far away so close you put me to sleep.
Far away so close you rise me.

The blackened sky and diamond stars envelop our bodies.
If i were wind, i'd travel towards your skin.
If i were air, i'd search your lips.

Far away so close.
You are.
I dream you.
For there we meet, for there you are.

Far away so close.
I'll meet you.
Resisting is useless, you are not here.
But you'll come.

It's what we yearn, what we attract and what we dream. Doubt is the enemy, loss of faith is doom. Colors, life and love are always with us, ready to be found.

Fía.

Howl

Howl.

I howled. Two nights ago. Literally. I felt the spirit within me take over. A larger light rising.
Under the rain, literally. Below the high voltages of lightning and the rolling of thunder. Literally.

And it was great proof of how we are all coming from the same blood, the same mother nature, born from the same sap.
I saw myself as bird, as wolf, as feline, as flower.
Looking up. Senses activated. Full attentive.

And there is something greater.
A greatness that sprouts from within, and then surrounds us. 
I felt nothing and everything under the shouting night. 

Nature spoke, and my animal spirit responded. 
Literally.

Was it a coincidence that I was watching a film about the Tree of Life?
Is it a coincidence it has been something I've been discussing and reflecting upon lately?
Is it pure chance that I cover myself every night with an Indian illustration of the tree? 
...

I am fascinated observing the world work. Fascinated by discovering my being here, my relationships and how each connection is absolutely unique, one and only. 
There are moments when i just don't want to talk, and i call for feeling, exploring.  I'm a bit tired of empty blabber or conversations that lack blood. I listen to politics and it's all a miserable show.  Bad taste and very far away from truth. I see how language has deteriorated and now it's all empty words with bad spelling, lack of meaning. 
I want to cast some light on simple, full, rich moments. 
Holding, caressing someone else's skin...with yours. 

Feel the rain. It's falling..from the sky. 
It cleanses, it bathes, it's water (life!) falling down on us. 
There's lightning and energy, there's light. 
Thunder. Roaring. 

Howl. 

Somersault

I write not about gymnastics, though a hidden secret desire of mine has always been to be a gymnast, somersault away...or a dancer.  
(how cliché of me, girly of me, i know)

I write about heart somersaults.  The twist and turns of the heart.  
Surprises,
Leaps of joy,
Unexpected happenings,
Overwhelming emotions. 

We've all had them. 
A flirty smile, an outrageous laugh, playful tears, or a minuscule drop of sorrow. A gasp of air, a trembling shout, a deep sigh, a provocative moan.

One of those moments that makes you feel alive, makes you realize of the present moment, provides the comprehension that you are not alone, that there is an inevitable connection with others, with the belonging to something bigger than yourself. 

I absolutely love and live for those moments.

I dwell on such thoughts. Sure "i could be doing something more productive", i could say....and it's taken me thousands of minutes, days and weeks to believe it is nonsense, believe it with my whole body. 
I've shoved it out of the way, played dumb, numbed my heart and my body--believing life must be "filled" with useful actions, with useful things.  
There is nothing to fill.
What is useful? And to who? For what?

I'm not the same person i was. I'm learning about compassion, I'm exploring forgiveness, I'm discovering the feverish delight of feeling, yearning, desiring. 

I invite those correct, polite, rigid, straight-lined pedestrians to somersault. 

Leap up and back and around. Defy gravity, fly. Entrust your heart, open the solar plexus. Extend your arms, trust your hands. Let your body follow, place your feet on the ground, let the blood rush through you, and stand.  Feel.  
Somersault.

Fía.

PICAFLOR

pica, pica, picaflor.

Tengo un amigo de alas veloces.
Se mimetiza con los verdes, amarillos.
Tan pequeño, tan frágil.
Me gustas.

Rápido, un rayo de energía.
Te inyectas en las flores,
succionas la miel más pura,
dulce de vida.
Te suspendes en tu alimento,
en la delicia.

Vienes y te vas.
Volverás mañana?

Ser pequeño,
fuerte,
bello y audaz.
Me gustas.
Soy tuya. 

Somos todos seres hermosos. Somos todos parte de lo que nos rodea, y nuestro comportamiento con aquello nos hace formar parte de la hermosura. Somos todos espíritus con historias, todos con historias que contar e historias que crear. 
La naturaleza--todo lo viviente-- vive, muere y se vuelve a generar. Yo soy tierra, soy aire, fuego, agua y aire. 
Por qué desconocer(nos)? Por qué maltratar(nos)? 

Mi alma sabe de bosques, sabe de montañas, campos, desiertos, mares, volcanes, selvas.  
Con todo eso amo.  Amo con mi cuerpo entero--mi amor pasado, mi presente amor y aquello que podría amar.

--Fía.

Last night i had a dream

Yesterday I dreamt about cliffs. 
I dreamt about rocky cliffs and forests.
Rocky cliffs and forests and ocean.

I was traveling, walking, exploring.
Climbing, descending, breathing and observing.
I was not alone. 
I had my loved ones with me. 
In my journey.
But I was me.
I was I. 
On my feet.
On my path.

In my dream I took pictures.
I took pictures of what i saw, of what i felt.
The pictures were of green, grayish-black rocks and ocean mist.

The waves hit hard, 
hit with no pain, but with life. 
The forests breathed that pure mist,
so did my lungs. 

I jumped and played amongst the rocks,
I was dreaming a dream. 

I noticed a bear, 
a white and black bear that lived beneath and between the rocks.
I went to him.

There were shouts of warning,
of fear.
But i went.
I jump and he came after me.
He placed his mouth in my back and kissed me.

I jumped and he came after me.
He placed his head beneath me and lifted me.
I turned around. 
Stood still.
We gazed at each other and came close.
Our necks embraced each other. 
We caressed each other. 

I climbed and left him.
He is a part of me. 
I am a part of him.

I dreamt of rocks, of forests, of ocean.
I dreamt of a heart.
I dreamt of life and spirit.

--Fía.