All over the place.

I'm sitting in front of my computer, my fingers placed on the keyboard, ready to begin the dance of typing.  And I sit for a few minutes, motionless.  There are moments during the day when I feel an idea, theme or thought assaults me...things I would like to discuss and open up to here in my blog.  But I commit the crime of not writing them down, having complete faith i'll remember and that it'll all be stored inside me and blossom as I sit ready to write.  
And now i just sat motionless thinking: "what is it that I want to say today?" 


It is breaking the ice.  For I know that as soon as I start pressing down on the keys, I realize that there IS a vast world inside of me to share. It is breaking the ice, because then I can physically feel the energy flow from my center to the tip of my fingers, creating momentum...as though electric current runs through me. 


Then there is not judging, not second-guessing myself and not attempting to achieve some kind of perfect entry. That only paralyzes.  I say this out loud because I realize that it is a matter of letting go, being truthful and again allow myself speak from within. Be not afraid of what I have to say, when I have to say it or how I'm saying it.  The important thing is to say it. 


The same thing goes for actions.  During these moments of more ease and tranquility --that I'm so thankful for-- I've been able to observe. Observe myself, the stillness and movements inside me; my surroundings, the flow of energy, what affects me, how it affects me.  It has been a beautiful experiment.  Observing, focus of mind, directing intentions and then translating to actions.  
I've noticed how (just as I stated in yesterday's post) I do not have much trouble showing enthusiasm and running free with projects and what I'm capable of creating--anyone for that matter. See, I have this belief that we are all capable of anything we really intend to.  Our possibilities, our potential is grand, limitless I dare to say. Our "usage" is actually minimum.  So, what stops us? 
I like to think that I stop myself. 
I'm on this craze that I will follow through with my new inspiration, that it is time to stop leaving my intentions and desires in "dream world" and grab it by the hand, bring it down to earth and allow it to manifest itself.  
The mere idea is inspiration in itself, energy-drive, high-frequency creator.  Static!
It produces an unconventional activity: is it fear? is it madness? it's just discharge.  


You know what i've just concluded? It's a matter of step by step. The rest is overwhelming. 
This is a bizarre, kind of "all over the place" entry.  I have a lot of stimulation going on around me right now--could be part of the reason-- but it's also just where I am right now.  
Step by step.  
Step 1: Paper, pen, idea, brainstorm.  Write. 
Do today. 
Will do. 


--Fía.

Fia

Fia is my name. 

I am a slim--at the moment TOO slim-- creature.

My habitat: planet Earth.

I am currently living in the Southern Hemisphere, South American continent, country Chile, city Santiago.

I am part of a family (direct) of five, I am the middle child. 

Why do I begin stating these "objective" pieces of information? I guess it is under the impression that it might define me somehow, it might "place" me somewhere, classify me, specify my persona? 

If I were in first grade, and the task was to introduce myself, (which is a common exercise) this is probably what might be expected. More details of course. 

Then I say OK, that's a good starting point...but I would actually be more accurate and state: 

"I am a creature of the world.  I might be physically in Santiago, Chile, but I belong to the planet, I belong to the earth, I belong to the universe.  I am life. I have family in every corner where living creatures exist.  I have a heart that feels, a mind that thinks and a faith that loves." 

I've come across the sensation that people today are predisposing themselves or linking to the feeling of loneliness.  Fearing isolation, relating with their hearts to its possibility, complaining about the lack of connection and belonging, therefore...ending up embracing loneliness. 

Which is not the same as being alone. 

Solitude and loneliness.  

   ***Take a second.  Stop what you ever you are doing and just dissect these two concepts, differentiate them and feel (yes, experience) what you discover. 

I find great pleasure in being alone.  It is beyond compare, unparalleled to the act of sharing. It shouldn't be judged as better or worst..but just different. It has been receiving this bad reputation--associating it to sadness, isolation, antisocial, unfriendliness, uncommunicative, emptiness.  These terms are hence connecting to fear and pain.  

I know of such people who are terrified of the thought of silence and being alone.  I do not judge, but I do encourage to rise above, give yourself a chance...

I raise the question: when alone, aren't we most with ourselves? Isn't it a chance to really listen to what's inside, the truth, the love, feelings, thoughts? 

How is that empty in any way? 

Why should that be fearful? 

How is that unfriendly?

Uncommunicative? 

Most answers are found in this paradise, it is bountiful, abundant of exquisite goods and then, when in community, amongst others, all flourishes:providing magnificent aromas, excellent intentions and beautiful actions. 

So, I stand today, humbly but strongly in defense of being alone.  Alone, but connected.  

Hmmm..not the same as connected, but alone. 

I share with you today my pleasure of being alone. It gives me strength.  It really does.  It helps me focus, ground and center myself.  Connect with my intentions, my life practice and my faith. It is unmeasurable how much i find, how much i "do" in my moments alone. I do not feel as though I'm running away, but quite the contrary...arriving, finding, belonging. 

And i repeat, it gives me great strength.  I can experience the miracle of life: where I am my own individual, but with a family in the world, a home. 

It gives me strength to create, it gives me strength to love.  Power which i sometimes can feel yield and subside to fear.  

I stand today, humbly but strongly in defense of being alone.  Try it! 

I stand today, humbly but strongly proclaiming my intention to take into action my intentions and creative impulses.  

I came to the realization this morning in my practice: 

Really...i mean REALLY... no one (but my false fictitious fear) can stop me from what I intend to do. If I live a life of truthfulness, contentment, non-violence, cleanliness--if my actions speak coherently so-- there is no fear. 

I have the power of creating whatever I possibly intend.  

I am a creative self. 

** i guess that would be my first grade answer**

(discovery while being alone).

Fia.

LIGHT

Collaboration, connection, sharing and lightness. 
Lightness--grasping this concept in all it's possibilities.  I've been considering and contemplating on this - what may seem simple- word: Light. 


Light: A natural agent that makes things visible.
Light: A source of illumination--i.e. an electric lamp.
Light: A devise that makes something start burning.
Light: Of little weight, ease in weight.
Light: Gentle or delicate.
Light: Understanding of a problem, spiritual illumination by a divine truth.


I like the word "ease". For it speaks to me of life, movement, flow, natural exchange, peace, tranquility, awareness, stability and acceptance.  This is my flow of consciousness somewhat running free.  These are my free associations.  Language has always fascinated me.  I consider it to be essential and very significant.  It is one of the manifestations of the Self. 
What is our relationship with language? 
How do I speak? 
What are my word choices? 
How do I communicate? 


It pains me when I sense (see, hear, experience) misuse of language: abuse of the wonderful instrument of communication, indecent assault to our element of connection, the lack of consciousness of our mechanism of expression. 
I take another step forward: isn't life, our existence, a magnificent gift? --godly, holy, divine, natural, even fortuitous if you like to think of it as so.  Isn't it, if considered at its most basic measure, an opportunity? An occasion, a window of possibility? 
What for? That is "customers choice".  
I personally like the choice of love.  The choice of goodness, kindness, gratitude, respect.  High frequency of love, of collaboration.  The choice of love and light. 
With this proclamation comes great responsibility.  With responsibility comes effort, discipline, work, sacrifice, struggle, faith.  It is not easy.  
Love and light is not a walk through the park.  It is not white sands, palm trees, turquoise waters, siestas in a hammock. Quite the contrary, I believe.
It implies courage, openness, awareness, self-reflection, evaluation, self-less acts and a great deal of surrender. Surrender of quantifiable results, surrender to locked-fixated expectations, surrender to the innate law that every action entails reaction. Acknowledge that, and then let go. 
Again, not an easy task-- Piña Colada?? no, my friend. 


It is a practice.  A practice of conviction, hopefulness, optimism. A continuous practice.  A conscious practice. A coherent practice. 


Now, how does this relate to what I started writing about minutes ago? It's all connected, and I'll let my mind, heart and lastly my fingers run wild, throwing out a soup of words--lets see where it leads me...it might be an interesting experiment...
Light, no-darkness, 
light, unveil, 
light, deal with eyes open, i rather hurt than walk blind.
light, pain but no fear--what is fear anyway? 
light, myself, i have myself, know myself.
light, pain but NO ignorance
light, life and death. 
light, connection--conversations of truth. Listen, oh the power of listening. 
Talk and listen. Share. 
language, translation of soul, coherence of self, the path starts within, belief in what's inside, 
light, no fear, strength on my beliefs,
light, my path, my practice, no judgement, strength, strength, strength.
Truth, loyalty, no lies. 
Relationships of truth. Relationships with truth. 
Light, colors!  
Beauty. Language again, translation of beauty.
World of beauty. 
Life of beauty, life with beauty. 
Light, unveil. Unveil and observe. Observe and be. Observe, be brave. Dare to be. 
Light 
Light
Light breath.
Light death. 


--Fía. 


INDULGE IN THIS WORLD'S (OCEANIC) BEAUTY: 

1.33 ATTITUDES

The day is gray. The air is cool and not particularly crisp and clear, yet I know the sun is shining above the layer of clouds at its full potency. 
Easily I could get sucked down into the vibration of what is lacking, the uncomfortable, and the non-optimum conditions.  There is always that. 


But there is always the other: what is here, what is breathing, beating, palpitating with life, creating and loving. 


It is a matter of attitude.  What is defined at attitude? Intention? Predisposition? Openness? I like to think of it (and i'm not dictionary, or language expert) as...
can I play mathematician & scientist? I shall, and I'll present it as an equation/formula! 


     **It must be the Carl Sagan influence--i have indulged with my brother his various instructive videos exploring our reality (dimensions), beyond our reality (the cosmos and life) and our existence, our responsibility.**


I urge you to play along... 
Attitude (A)= self-inquiry + awareness + intention (purpose x focus)


Yesterday, I dedicated time to study a particular Yoga Sutra, short aphorisms written by Patañjali, and found myself utterly inspired and submerged in a frequency of positivity and beauty. And I thought...why not share it? Share it out there, to whoever reads this, or just place it out, outside of me for further comprehension and as an active way of practicing what I came across. 
Fear not: it is all connected to this very rational, mathematical equation i've just presented above. (I'm just playing around-- this equation is NOT an ultimate truth in any way) 
For me, life is not an equation, it is not linear, it is not bound by definitions, classifications of any type or form, and mostly not about obtaining results.  It's a journey. 


I digress...
The Yoga Sutra, from Chapter 1, number 33. 
I.33

matrī-karunā-muditopeksānām sukha-duhka-punyāpunya-

visayānām bhāvanātāh citta-prasādanam

"By cultivating an attitude of friendship toward those who are happy, compassion toward those in distress, joy toward those who are virtuous, and equanimity toward those who are non virtuous, lucidity arises in the mind".


Studying further, various commentaries, there are a couple on which to reflect upon (and that I personally admire):
    * "By being a well-wisher toward those who are happy, as well as those who are virtuous, the contamination of envy is removed. By compassion toward those whoa re miserable, that is, by wishing to remove someone's miseries as if they were one's own, the contamination of the desire to inflict harm on others is removed. By equanimity toward the impious, the contamination of intolerance is removed. Consequently, the mind becomes lucid..the mind is clear, one-pointed concentration or steadiness can be achieved." 
   *  "This sūtra prescribes a kind of mindfulness or mental cultivation off the mat, in day-to-day affairs..it is a continuous and constant requirement of the yogic path and spills over into all aspects of life's affairs and social interactions. It speaks to the fact that yoga need not be perceived as a world-renouncing tradition but is perfectly compatible with engaged and benevolent social action in the world." 


Hmmm...
Ahhhh...
Om.


--Fía.

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/robert_thurman_on_compassion.html
EXPANDING YOUR CIRCLE OF COMPASSION

SISTER

I choose love.
This choice comes from the simplest, most basic "definition" of life: birth, love and death. 
Birth and death are certainties..then we are left with love.  
To love? To not-love? That is the question. 
I think master Shakespeare said it well: to be or not to be? That is the question.  
"Being" meaning love. 
Love of/for/with yourself and your surroundings, other(s). That is a choice. 


I choose love. 
I believe in love, and I begin with acknowledgment.  Acknowledgement of beauty, positivity and the miraculous gift of life. The vast universe of possibilities, limitless, boundless and kind. 
I have love around me. 
I have shiny jewels, treasures around me. 
Yesterday I wrote about my brother, that makes my heart sing and shine.
Today I write about my sister.  A gem.  A queen.  Divinity.  Her beauty forever glowing, her energy glittering and flowing in perfection. 
Sister, hermana, companion since my coming to this world. 
My life would be lack luster if you were not here.  
You make the world a better place,
you make me a better being,
you are part of the force that thumps my heart. 


When I choose love, I see you.  For you are love. 
Love, for me, is you. 


I am a creature of faith, where I hold deep and strong a belief in higher nature, higher "powers", and the potency of love.  I've been blessed with your companionship, with your presence, your guidance. 


What would I do without my brother? 
Without my sister? 
I hold in my stream of blood the essential nutrients of fellowship, miracle, holiness. 


Liquid love. 


I acknowledge my fortune.  
I admire, bless, give thanks and mesmerize at what is with me.  
I cherish it, and will not pass this lifetime without dedication to our bond.
Hermanos: I see you. 


--Fía.

BROTHER

It has been delightful to come back home, and reconnect with one of the most beautiful beings I know: my brother. He is my brother beyond our actual family, blood-related bondage, beyond sharing the same parents & beyond our growing up together under the same household. He holds a special place in my heart because of the human being he is, has become, and that i can experience him becoming. 
I love him.
I respect him.
I admire him.

 I've discovered through self-inquiry, and confirmed through exploration and the practice of mindfulness how ultimately we are stardust, energy.  Yes, we possess a physical body, we are living amongst a physical realm of reality, yet it is all ultimately energy-- with mutating vibrations and frequencies.  More and more I can feel that, I comprehend it so, and marvel at this common origin of us all, of the universe. 
I am planet, I am star, I am moon, I am earth, I am water, I am air, I am the trees, I am the animals, I am my surrounding within and beyond my perceiving senses, I am all...we are all.
That is connection.  The vibrations of the North, South, East and West affect me, for I am a part of it all.  

*this takes me to Eve Ensler's powerful speech on how her body is a microcosmos of the world's manifestations: from natural disasters, cries of abuse, violence, torture, ignorance...to laughters of joy, expressions of love and kindness.* http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/eve_ensler.html 

It is a symphony of energy flow, what a beautiful prospect to think about it: how my intentions, attitudes and actions resonate within me and all around me.
Selfless power to influence you, tune in with you and soar with you to higher grounds! 

On a gloomy day I know the sun is shining above the clouds, I connect my vibrations with its fire, I am part of the sun, and I can glow. 

My heart can link to your pain, and together we can energize to the land of contentment.  The element of connection exists. 

 This flow of consciousness leads me back to my brother. My time together with him has been living proof of a deep energetic connection. There is an exchange of ideas, words, feelings...but even more. Much more. There are times when I feel part of his stardust, I can feel, empathize with/share his heartbeat and heart-center.  He makes me happy, makes me stronger. He is my brother...and I feel so fortunate to have him near me today.
I love you.
I respect you. 
I admire you.


 --fía.

All Mine

I’m amazed.  I feel wonderstruck. I have been discovering a new moment in my present living—with a new attitude, intention and an unexpected kind of ease.  An novel, new rhythm.

I haven’t become this zen saint, tranquil woman in some cloud. Pretty far from that actually—and being a zen saint is not my goal.

It’s like…it’s like…

I’ve made this analogy before, it’s like shedding skin, having this newborn layer, super sensitive to all stimuli. Waking up and pulling up the curtains—sun come right in!

You see, I’ve become a complete fan and curious little ant when it comes to how our mind, body and soul work. I hesitated a few seconds before writing the word “soul”.  Is it spirit? Is it heart? Is it faith? All I know is that it is not body or mind. 

Years ago I had a very wise, talented acting teacher who liked to refer to this “subtle body” as “pelotitas de colores” (colorful little pebbles).  They change color, they modify in temperature, the move around—becoming solid clumps, with weight, or statically spread around in complete lightness.

We’ve all felt our little pebbles act and manifest inside us.  They determine and identify as feelings or states of being. 

I know I’ve felt it: sorrow, anger and complete bliss possess different colors, weight, temperature, and even are located in contrasting places.  I’ve felt my pebbles move around or act up: when blushing, when afraid, when excited or in love.  At times hysterical miniscule bubbles, or at times rock solid heavy stones.  All me all the same.

Right now my bubbles are moving all over the place, adapting, re-locating, discovering.

I am where I have never been before. I am, I just am.

I’m struggling to define it—but why should I? And I notice how difficult it is not to do so.  This high-wired programming is strong and deep. Of measuring it, classifying it, judging it.

I am dedicated to being.  It is challenging, my God, it is.

Yesterday I wrote about linking. Linking to a higher state. A higher frequency that I know & feel exists, and that I allow myself to choose.  Allow without criticism, but with contentment and determination.

I confess that it hasn’t been more than a few days. Correction, better choice of words: it has all clicked in the past few days.  Yes, for it has been brewing… hints, lights and sparks have been manifesting for a while, but now this is different.

I attempt not to dissect it, for it is felt. And it is mine. All mine.

I’ve apologized enough, I’ve explained plenty.

Today I had a new revelation, a new click: I’ve been stepping on eggs shells for years. Mistaking it for solid earth. Tip-toeing, shamefully light-touching the floor. It makes sense to the current deep yearning for ground, home, belonging and owning.

I have physically been afraid and apologetic for my footsteps, for my noise, my presence.  I’ve recognized it in past moments—and paid no attention to it, really—and this morning noticed it, fully.

It is such a deep metaphor to my old living.  Wanting “not to be”.  Not be heard, not to seen, to vanish.  And I was truly doing so. My existence was about vanishing. My body, my mind, my pebbles linking to disappearing. My frequency was tuning to fading, which would eventually lead me to passing away.

I don’t feel weak, I feel strengthened and joyful. I feel my frequency rising. My heart ascending, soaring, with faith and love. This new love within myself, to myself. Belonging. This morning’s epiphany showed me that this belonging is inside me. Just as love, faith and God is inside me.  Not outside or somewhere to be found. It is also in my own language, not written somewhere to be read or repeated mechanically.

I step step step step step… with grace,

Fía.

LINK

Today has been another day of great inspiration.  It is hard for me to find words to fully express all the thoughts, feelings and sensations that I've been experiencing throughout the last months, weeks, days. I say it is difficult because although language (written and spoken) is key for communication and connection, the element of feeling--the indescribable, intangible "stuff"/substance/energy-- is always hard to pinpoint and provide. You just feel it.

I want to take a micro step back, and reflect upon what I've just mentioned: the "stuff". I believe that it is the basic, most essential element and power that we possess as living creatures. We are not just mental, rational thinking beings. We have the godly power and beautiful capacity to experience, sense, perceive and FEEL--from  physical situations of our own personal every day lives, to what is happening in our surroundings to others. The power of connection lies in our ability of compassion, to feel with the heart.

Compassion lies in opening up, lies in vulnerability, lies in the heart, lies in love...not solely in mind. Mind and heart work together. They co-exist and flow in unison: building, feeding, creating love and ultimately life. 

So I sit and wonder. I wonder- -there is an element of questioning as well as amazement to the beauty of the working of things-- I am alive.  That is a given: I am here, right now, cross-legged sitting in my kitchen table, breathing, with a beating heart pumping blood to my heart. I can see, hear, smell, taste, touch. I can think, I can feel. 
How am I living? And then comes the key to it all...the key word: choice.  Choice in my intentions, choice in my attitudes, choice in my beliefs, choice in my actions, choice. Choice with what I link.  In this vast universe there is a boundless, limitless, endless pool of possibilities. In fact they already exist. They are there. Beating, pulsating. It is the reality that I choose to link with what makes it my reality. The beauty of it is that it is not fixed or unchangeable...wonder strikes again (jaw-opened wonder, fascination, inspiration). 

Life is wonder-ful.

I've mentioned this before, and it is something I practice on daily and full-heartedly: link on the positive, love, today. I repeat this, share it, and now set my intentions on today and my chosen reality TODAY, because I've just recently come to realize that by focusing on: "what I've been doing in the past", filling my being with messages of "let go of this, let go of that", identifying the "do not's", etc...I was still linking to that reality. Therefore, ultimately no shift.
 Many lineages of thought, philosophies, religions speak of this phenomenon. I've been reading, listening, reflecting, and sharing upon some. 
Yoga has been my pillar and light to my personal experience. I am forever grateful. 

TKV Desikachar: "As we continue our practice, we begin to see the possibilities of higher linkage of mind and spirit... Recognizing our responsibilities and intentions, pursuing them with faith is the guide to the linkage that takes us to the higher levels of experience."

I acknowledge the path I've traveled, and I am grateful, for it has led me to where I am today. 
A second lilium in my flower vase bloomed, cracked open today.

Today I woke up to a cloudy gray Sunday.  I practiced my morning practice, setting my intentions, chanting to the Sun. Midday: the great star cracked open in the sky, bathing us with light and warmth.  I am with my flower, I am the flower.
--Fía

SUPER MOON

Today’s words are in honor of the moon.  The Super Moon we will all have the pleasure to observe and admire.  It turned out to be somewhat serendipity, since yesterday afternoon, out of the blue, I re-watched and shared an outstanding video (TED talk) with my brother.  Particle physicist Brian Cox in a few minutes expresses, inspires and defends the significance of research (scientific and non-scientific) in life. Through curiosity, exploration, investigation and a yearning for knowledge our lives can change tremendously.  This is not solely about scientific data, numbers, but it spreads beyond to shifts of paradigms, “truths”, limitations and barriers of our potential as human beings. 

Who are we in the big beautiful picture called universe? We are part of a divine system—not independent, alien, superior or inferior.  And I choose the term “divine” for its beauty & magnificence is overpowering, all pervading…there must be some divinity involved.  At least I believe so.

It is humbling too. We are a blue dot. I am a little itty bitty creature (now the idea of “hormiguita”/ “little ant” is kind of accurate) among the vast universe… I’m running out of words to describe what we are, where we belong: this huge space of wonder, boundless, extensive, expansive, magnanimous possibility.

It is humbling…and yet inspiring and empowering.  We are a small part of this cosmos, and yet we are grand.  Me, you, each and every one of us.  Then is when I stop and think, reconsider and find reassurance that our actions matter.  We hold this great gift of existence, we’ve been granted this privilege of “belonging” to this firmament, heaven, nirvana, Zion—what shall we do with it?  The gift has been bestowed to every single one of us, and together can become a powerful force to further greatness. 

Yes, I think, as I listen to this wise man and observe the images of my home…I’m so tiny in the scale of the universe, but I’m NOT insignificant.  I am NOT nothing.

I am actually a tiny particle that can reflect beauty, create beauty, spread inspiration, build higher grounds.

I feel empowered…and in a selfless kind of way.

Today is Super Moon Day.  It is the day/night when our home is closest to it’s beautiful satellite.  Thinking about that, about my connection to my planet, my link to space and its different components (which are so unknown to me, and yet are there…) takes me some place filled with a peculiar joy and state of awareness. Tonight I want to honor my existence, tonight I want to give thanks to “belonging”, tonight I want to take the time to really “be,” experience “being” and be grateful. 

Me, you, everyone is a part of this world—good, bad, happy, sad, big, small.  We all belong to this home…a blue dot in the wonders of the universe.       

If you are interested--which I highly HIGHLY recommend-- take a look at this talk.  It is worthwhile!

STEP

Hands on keyboard, ready to let my system flow....
What is it that is going through me today, right now?
What is it that i want to say?
I tend to have thousand of ideas to blog about, then as I see my reflection on my screen (from the sun that is warming my back) I go through this empty, completely blank moment. And then I get started and usually end up--again-- having too many things to say.

Yesterday was about letting go, surrendering to the Western calculating, measuring, competitive mindset of life.  How concepts and ideas of winning and losing (in all it's levels) takes over our actions, intentions and ultimately our life. Letting go of results and accomplishing certain expectations actually provides great freedom.  Freedom to adventure, freedom to surprise, freedom to knowledge, freedom to connection, love and breath. Conscious breath-- "where there is breath, there is life".
Because I've been thinking...these expectations that we set for ourselves respond to a specific moment or need during a specific time/circumstance.  Then they become this goal, fixed in some fictitious world, which is not necessarily useful, healthy or significant anymore.
I've had the opportunity, the pleasure of discovering that.  I'm grateful for that.  My reaction is not anger, frustration, regret or sorrow...but actually, as I embrace the "now", I give thanks to be awareness, to see and feel that.  And it just requires a choice.  Take a choice.  Don't step forward along that path, turn right, turn left, or in a diagonal, or even backwards...it's OK.
The great teacher TKV Desikachar (Health, Healing and Beyond) magnificently suggests: I quote.


"We must never feel guilty or ashamed about experiencing the avidya-dukha cycle (the constraints upon our physical and mental life that lead to illness and discontent).  It is as fair and universal as death itself, visited upon each and every one of us."

So make a choice.
I make a choice. With this choice comes great sacrifice, great effort, ultimate truthfulness, kindness and gratitude.
He continues:


"To effect change in our lives is a process of progressive linkage of the mind, a replacement of less desirable associations of the mind with the more desirable....with proper diet and continuous practice, we begin to achieve health of body, clarity of mind, and the ability to communicate and to relate on the other levels with those around us.  Already much of the stress in our lives is reduced. But we can progress further. As we continue our practice, we begin to see the possibilities of higher linkages of mind and spirit. The role of the senses and our emotions become more apparent. On the basis of self-reflection; we see how they tend always to draw us back into old patterns, into old grooves of thought, action, and response.  This is based on experience, such as "I have failed before and probably will again".  We can displace this condition and replace it with something more positive."

Words of wisdom, words of hope, faith and strength.
I connect to Grace and life.
I sit with my intentions every morning, breathe and link.

I see today.
I hear today.
I smell today.
I taste today.
I touch-feel today.

I let prāna (vital energy) flow in, through and out of me.

--Fía.

Sea of Ideas

So this is day two--although it really isn't actually the second one-- of my new path.  As I type and even think about the sentence I just wrote a question jumps right in: why measure? why count? 

And what might sound like a simple little question takes me on a loop and something that has been surrounding me, bathing me like an ocean wave-- what makes me calculate, measure things all the time? why? what for? As though life were a competition, a board game (much like monopoly) where there is a bank, money, points and little squares to move forward, backwards, get stuck in "jail" or even lose a turn. 

Wow. 

And then through self-inquiry I can feel every fiber in my body cringe, quail, tremble, shake. It is very complex though, because at the same time I can sense the "programming" of years and years that responds exactly to that very mindset.  

I can sense it creeping up stirring my waters. And a battle takes place. 

It comes accompanied with low vibrations, where the main characters of this fictitious play is Fear, Guilt, Pain, Punishment and Exhaustion.  All these ghostly figures that once I name them and recognize them make me realize that as the writer of this play I definitely want to make them go away in Act I, scene I. 

I don't need that, nobody does, and it is my choice to bring them to life..

No...i'll probably make them plan a trip together somewhere, and tragically make them pass away--all together, lost in a canoe in some storm in a sea of turbulent waters. Or maybe to make it a bit less dramatic, have them go on vacations to a paradisiac beach, where through sunshine, ocean, sand, music of nature decide to stay there...indefinitely.   

Then the sun comes out, scene II and beautiful beings come to play: Tranquility, Love, Kindness, Faith and Generosity. And the play unfolds...these characters inside me, within me, all me. 

It is a different kind of play, it does not necessarily follow the traditional standards of playwriting and action.  Time, place and setting are important, but it is all interconnected, all happening organically in the present.  

Where are we going? Who knows!

What do we want? It is an on-going inquiry leaded by love and honesty. 

There is movement, there are actions, there are thoughts, feelings, plans.  

There is creativity and overall energy with stability and light.  Light: clarity, luminosity, ease, lightness.

No measuring.

Swimming in a sea of ideas, creativity and presence.

So this all brings me back to my first sentence and the concept of life in numbers, achievements, gaining, buying, selling, consuming, wasting, wining and losing. 

Who is keeping score? Myself? Some invented fictitious entity that I (we) will meet in some misty future? 

Īśvaraprānidhānāni-- devotion, faith of divinity (and our actions), surrendering to results and expectations.

  

I am breathing, walking, swimming, flying in today's sea.  That's all...

NEW

It’s a new place.

A new day.

A new life.

** warning: excess use of the word “new”**

Receiving sunlight, warmth of the “Rey Sol” (King Sun) in the Southern hemisphere. Another place on Earth, a different view, a new experience: sounds, smells, feelings.  A new place, where not only am I physically somewhere else, but facing fresh circumstances, situations and challenges.  I like the word “fresh”—just as much as “awareness” and “consciousness”—because it embraces the concept of life, being alive. Fresh, alive, growing, beating. 

Fresh like a crispy lettuce, fresh as grass bathed with morning dew, fresh as flowers oozing an exquisite mild sweet fragrance or ocean mist!

So, I like fresh.

Having said that, I know and I must be honest and acknowledge the challenges ahead of me.  I’ve just experienced a significant change in my life.  And I shall not disregard it. Living with mindfulness of what every new day offers is what I believe in, is my personal practice.  This new journey has begun and I will live it fully.  Fully with its up’s and down’s…full with every breath…full with moments of ease and moments of stress, full with awareness of my existence, alert and sensitive of my intentions and my actions. 

I feel proud of what I’ve accomplished.  I feel proud with what I have experienced and learned.  Grounded and strong of my beliefs and where I am today.  The more I reflect upon it, the more I feel reassured of the beauty of life—my life: what I have constructed to be where I am right now, my inner strength and my faith.  I thank my journeys, I thank the people that have walked my walk, I thank life for the opportunities… the key thing is, though, to acknowledge that and then breathe here, today.  It’s tempting to get stuck in the past: get trapped in comparisons, regrets or impatient/anxious in a non-existent future. 

Day to day, today. 

Step by step, today.

I have been absent for some days…missing writing terribly where I allow myself “momentitos” (little moments) of evaluation and space of connection with life, love and divinity.

Here I am now. With love. With surrender.

This morning, as I practiced yoga in my new space, I came across the concept of “samtosa” (samtosha): contentment.  As I was on my matt, inhaling and exhaling, I was able to encounter in a new deeper level the experience of being where I was: a little room, my space, the temperature, the morning, Santiago, Chile.

“Samtosa”, contentment.  The appreciation of what I have, where I am. 

Letting go of what I could have, what I should have, what I don’t have—again, letting go of comparisons, thoughts such as: this is better/worse than… if I only had… I can’t wait for…etc. 

“Samtosa” with myself, with my environment, with my breath, with my life, with life. 

And you see, contentment implies “containing”; hence sustaining that marvelous feeling of appreciation, gratitude, kindness, goodness. 

Contentment— “it is enough”. I’m blessed.

It’s not easy, that is where “tapah”—discipline, practice, sacrifice—plays its part.  Creating heat, for it is challenging. 

Practice, effort; surrendering to external results.  “Abhyasa”, inner practice with faith, just simple faith.

Today I breathed with samtosa…

Contentment, gratitude, kindness.  

** How wise were our fellows McCartney, Lennon, Harrison, Ringo: “Let it be”.