Jesus Christ Superstar

This week is a biggy for the Catholic Church.
Iglesia Católica tiembla..!

All is happening in Vatican City.
Vaticano,
Vaticano.

I somehow think of it as cold, windy, chilly halls.
Medieval colors, medieval times.
Large doors being shut,
Priests and cardinals sliding quickly through the hallways.
Silent corners and yet rooms where you can hear shouts and echoes.
A feeling of danger.

Candles,
long, large, heavy wardrobes.

But then i think again and actually reconsider:
probably there's a powerful heating system,
large, comfortable rooms.
Some shouting, yes, but some laughing as well.
Lots of gold, nothing dirty.
Maybe a TV here and there.
Or iPhones!
to top it all off: there's a popemobile! 
papamóvil!

McVatican.
Jesus Christ Superstar.

Vatican troubles... think on how it all affects me.  The pope has just retired, stepped-down from his godly mission in life.  "So what?"
I can't be that trivial.  I can't be that removed.
Well, really, i can.
I just choose not to be.
I have a sensitive structure.  Truly.
(do not confuse sensitive with being emotionally unstable or just a plain emotional wreck).
My character is sensitive: senses are a big thing for me.  I perceive and create experiences easily.
So, it's in my nature to have events become a part of me..or reach me.

Vaticano,
Vaticano,
Vaticano.

I first questioned: mmm, so what happened with the Divine calling where this "holy" man is the voice of God in Earth? Can this voice just disappear? Can it be as simple as saying: i quit?
Does he just stop listening to the voice? or is this voice now silent to him?
Hmmm...

Then i thought: How is all this related to faith? True blue faith? I call upon the origin of it all, the origin of an individual (group of individuals) experiencing the overwhelming feeling of Divinity.  Supernatural.

I have my own view on this-- which involves the great knowledge of the Universe, the law of the Universe, including mysteries and exploring the unknown.  The Greatness of it all. That's my Divinity.

Now i look into what the Catholic Church has become.  I respect. I respect those who believe in God, Jesus Christ, Heaven, Hell, etc.  Everyone has a right to believe in what they want.  But you'd have to be blind, or play blind, to deny that out-dated dogmas, rules that don't speak of freedom, money behind the churches doors,  and the violent outburst of terrible accusations-which have been proved to be true-- has wrecked and spoiled the "house of God".

I fool around and call it McV, say it's become a shopping mall, a gift shop where there are little souvenir figurines of Jesus...Jesus Christ a Super star.  A super hero. 

I admire Jesus. He was an enlightened being, a true leader, a believer of faith.  He moved masses, conquered and mastered energy.  He lived his life with a focused intention of removing the veil of ignorant, trivial, unconscious life.  A yogi, why not? Not about dogmas, classifications, names, institutions.  A human. 
What has it all become? 

He'd be loathing his image today, he'd deny golden rings and luxurious mansions. 

So, how does all of this affect me? At least it makes me question.  It makes me evaluate and understand...myself a bit more. 
I'm reading a book on Leo Tolstoy, and something just felt like my soul speak.
i speak through his words:

"The hero of my tale--whom I love with all the power of my soul, whom I have tried to portray in all his beauty, who has been, is, and will be beautiful--is Truth."

"Devoting my life to found(ing) a new religion that fits human evolution.  A religion which does not promise future beatitude but gives beatitude on earth."

olor a jazmín.

Walking North, on the East side of the road. 
I effortlessly step between splattered ripe plums on the ground.
Summer fruit suicide.
The sidewalk feels a bit sticky.
Fructose sweet caramel. 

Walking North, on the East side of the road.
Splattered ripe red purple plums.
Summer sidewalk suicide. 
I walk and all of a sudden my body takes over
and i detour. 
I no longer walk in a straight line, but slightly make a curve
heading directly towards a fence.
An unknown house fence.

The black metal bars,
seduced,
invaded,
conquered,
by green.  
Green and little white flowers.
Jasmine.
Jazmín de mil recuerdos.

Walking North, East side.
Ripe red purple plums.
Summer.
Sweet caramel.
My body takes over.
I detour.
I find myself hypnotized,
at full stop.
Nose first, tip toes, pulled forward.
Jasmine.

I inhale and i feel 10.
I inhale and i'm stepping on grass.
I inhale and i smile.
Oh! 
I'm dizzy, at a loss of time and purpose.
10 seconds of full concentrated surrender.
10 seconds of complete sexy provocation.
Quisiera ser una abeja o picaflor.

I open my eyes and consciously must step away.
Mind control.
Damned mind.

I walk North.
Summer.

*** Fía.

MUSIC

Música
Música
Música.

“Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.” 

“If music be the food of love, play on,
Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.” 
- William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night.

ALAA WARDI!

I believe there's someone out there for everyone, someone waiting to love and be loved, someone who will accept you the way you are without asking you to change, someone who will love you as much and as passionate as you love without expectations.. Someone somewhere is waiting to start a new life, wonder if we'll ever meet!!

I wrote this song with my friend Angie after we figured we both had this idea in common, and we decided to share it with you all cause it's a song we all can relate to somehow. We hope that you like it.

This video was made by: Farah Kassem & Angie Obeid

Each person is a walking song. Our heartbeat, our breath, our laugh, our yells and screams all together tells a story that differs from person to person yet we can all relate to. That is why music has no race or religion, no age nor job. It is a universal house and anybody is invited inside. So wipe your feet and enter our house of spiritual communication and language and forget about everything for one second and let us take you on a journey. (Sarah Salah)

GREEN

Green. 
i love you, green.
Green.
i care for you, green. 
Green.
i cry you, green.
Green.
i smile you, green. 

Green.
Peace
for me
green.
Green.
Peace
for you
green. 

Green.
i drink you
green.
Green.
i eat you
green.

Green.
i smell you
green.
        I close my eyes and travel through you. You i inhale, discover every little bit of you. My eyes shut 
        i can still see you thoroughly by means of your fragrance. Fragrance of green. Green of grass. 
        Grass freshly cut. Cuts right through me. Me, you, us exploring each other by virtue of smell. 
        Smell me smell you smell green. 

Green.
i taste you
green.
Green.
i kiss you
green.
        Traveling to moments of green. Green flows, green grows.  Grow in me around me up and below,
         inside outside near and far. Far we shall never be. 

Green.


*** Fía.

Cloud Gazing.

Moments of clarity,
moments of simplicity,
a tiny split moment in time when it all settles--or maybe moves-- to a place of understanding. 

I'm enjoying a instant of warm breeze, watching the white clouds slowly travel South.  This large group of white curly puffs that seem to work together and head somewhere.  
And i think...
(i like to think, contemplate and review quite a lot)
i think of things: situations, people, myself, the environment. 
My thoughts travel like the big chunk of clouds.

And so i come to a moment of ease.  I call it ease for there is no struggle of any kind, there is no battle, there is no giving up either.  There just is...
a pinch of surrender, maybe.  But i like to think of it as a letting go and being. 

Lose the complication.  
Lose the mental masturbation of problem solving and deciphering. 

I just happen to read an entry from my friends yoga teacher, and it speaks exactly of this: detached- attachment and effortless-effort. http://us5.campaign-archive.com/?u=ef05bedd74581a4140afa19ee&id=3b24ebe01d 

How does that go? 
Practice and Play. 

Be alive, present, aware...but with a certain detachment and at ease. 
This yoga teacher so appropriately quotes the Thomas Merton (monk and student of Zen):
"issues of life are not so much problems to be solved, but mysteries to be entered."

I find that beautiful.  
It implies courage, it implies faith, it demands strength.
Not fear. 

Another new revelation, piece of information, (new to me, at least) was that the German word for "holy" (selig) is the English root for the word "silly".  So there is some lightness and playfulness to it all...

So, going back to my breezy afternoon- cloud gazing moment, i found myself with a bit of simplicity and epiphany.  I'm here, now, today.  I'm in a journey..for sure..we all are.  This journey has ups, has downs, has rocks to climb, rivers to swim, lakes to soak on and sun-bathing moments.  But it's all alive, its all an opportunity to find new discoveries and earn little stars of heartfulness joy. 
My journey is a bit bumpy at the moment, but it's quite beautiful too.  
I haven't felt more in my skin as now.  
There things i want, and i want them so so bad.
I want to be a part of...i want to play. 

I can smell my courage, my faith and i kiss my strength.
Not afraid. 

Fía.

LOVE FEVER

Estado febril.
     Feverish.
Temblores del corazón.
      Heart tremors.
Calor.
Sudor.
Suspiros.
      Heat.
      Sweat.
      Sighs. 

Los oídos se ensordecen con el palpitar.
El pecho crece, desciende, crece, desciende.
Expectante.
Vivo.
      The pumping, beating, thumping is deafening,
      Chest expanding, sinking, expanding, sinking.
      Expectancy.
      Alive.

Párpados, pestañas revolotean cual mariposas en un jardín inglés de lavandas.
Hay un pequeño mordisco al labio inferior.
Coqueto.
Sensual.
      Eyelids, eyelashes blinking butterflying away in an English lavender garden.
      Lower lip slightly bitten.
      Teaser.
      Sensual.

Momento cúlmine.
Labios se separan.
Inhala. 
Todo se expande: ojos, traquea, pecho.
Electricidad.
Cabeza! Corazón! Pies!
     Climax.
     Lips pull apart.
     Breathe in.
     All expands: eyes, trachea, chest.
     Static.
     Head! Heart! Feet!

Te veo...
     I see you...

PLAY! 

and PLAY!

Océano.

Océano.
(cómo me encanta esa palabra)

Océano.
Océano.
Océano.

Roca caimán con vida.
Un ser barbudo exfoliado con agua y sal.
Limpiándose día a día: de las culpas de una vida pasada?
De las heridas de guerra, quizás.

Gaviotas que hablan, susurran y cantan.
Cortejo marino de negros, blancos, verdes y rosados.
Una continua celebración.

Fragancia a mineral- casi como el olor a sangre.
Paz y Guerra.
Calma y Violencia.
Caricia y Amenaza.
Amor y Terror.

Océano.
Océano.
Océano. 


....tu que haces nuestro planeta azul. 

SMOKE ME TONIGHT

I’m up beyond the clouds, yet my feet can feel the heat of the earth holding me. 

My heels are breathing, like two lungs, alive.

Dirt, grasssss.

Sensitive, perceiving how much my blood hungers another.

Another? Anyone? Someone?

You.

Afraid to face it, terrified to dive in.

There are games to play, games that lend to tricks and make us half-players.

I don’t want to be a half-player.

I’d rather get lighted and burned.

I see a figure sucking in some kind of smoke.

Gray, white.

Complete contrast to the black of night.

Light me,

Suck me in,

I’ll turn into smoke.

I’ll travel through you, become a part of you.

I’m light-headed.

I’m losing the reins allowing the beat of this galloping heart hit my thighs,

dance with my body.

I’m light-headed.

Surrendering to this whirlwind of energy waves.

Underwater, twirling with the sea foam.

I’m light-headed.

High and addicted to the memory of the smell of your skin.

I’m light-headed.

Becoming smoke.

Traveling through your deepest corners,

ending in the tip of your lips.

Smoke me tonight.