Satellite of Mine

We are satellites.
We travel around an undefined everlasting Truth.
We glow...full, waning, waxing, new.
We are like the moon.

Our orbit takes us to many places.
I sometimes think we all have some predetermined orbit to travel.
Life has granted me moments of complete wisdom and logic.
I've thought: "of course that had to happen"...and now I think:
"It was meant for us to meet...right here, right now".

You said today that flowers reminded you of me.
I say stars remind me of you.
Actually stars and trees.
I've looked at the dark sky of night and gazed at the stars thinking of their fire.
Beautiful fire.
Strong fire.
I've also walked through parks and stopped to look at trees,
the strength of their roots, their eternal mission to reach the sky, maybe touch the clouds.
I see trees and I think of their veins sucking water, their circulatory system working strongly defeating gravity, taking every last drop to its very last tall leaf.
Trees are strong and wise.
You remind me of stars and trees.

We came together.
You tree
Me flower
Us star.
I believe in your love.
I believe in your goodness.
I believe in your strength.
Trust me in my love.
Trust me in my goodness.
Trust my strength.

It is night now, I look outside and see the stars.
The sky is big, vast, full,
So full of potential.
I give in to night and dreams.
I fade under the stars, thinking of your arms around me.
Your skin with mine.
Our breath as one.

Power

The word that for century has brought corruption.
Of the soul,
Of the heart,
Of a country and its people. 

I grew up listening the dangers of power,
the greatness of submission. 
I was the eye of the hurricane of words that spoke the importance of considering other. 
I silenced my voice of needs and wants. 
I bowed my head to the pleasure of others. 
Of what was right, for others.
Not for me. 

Their truths.
Not mine. 

I choked,
My stomach growled,
I numbed the pulsations of my heart. 

We embody the dictations of others. 
We follow paths, 
we mimic movements, 
gestures.
Repeat words,
Vibrate and feel what has been taught to us. 

But there came a day when the wheel stopped. 
Hit too large of a rock to keep spinning.
Cracked.

The POWER of just being...
You.
The STRENGTH to own a desire. 
Hear it.
Voice it. 

Power is not about politics,
Power is not about abuse,
Power is about justice. 

Be fair.
Honor your truth,
Not theirs. 

Be Alive

What is it I see?
Flowers are made of glass,
and the sun is a lightbulb.
Human, being of the earth, water, wind, and light.

I'm jealous of the trees,
that dance with the breeze,
and aim for the sky.

I'm jealous of the earth,
the grass,
for being the skin of the tears of the clouds.

I'm jealous of the lakes, rivers, oceans,
for their playful spirit to travel,
breath, flow, travel, laugh, and roar.

I'm jealous of the birds,
all of them,
for their freedom.
And the creatures that know where they come from.
Creatures that sleep with the moon and rise with the sun.
Beings that love full-heartedly, fear nothing.
Beings that are being.

Wake up.

And now comes January...

Ashes to soul,
Black to sapphire,
Buds to flowers,
Whispers to singing voices. 

A new beginning. 

Thunder in the sky,
Silence.
Not a storm, but fireworks.
Explosives burning the air, 
Burning all that is stale, all that is stuck,
All that needs burning. 
Burn. 

Laughter, hands, arms, chest.
Smiles, lips, kisses.
May I? 

Eyes close tight, 
breathe, body...breathe.
Eyes open,
Tears. 

Once it was uncertain, 
the path, 
where it would end. 
Once it was all about trusting,
every step...
Step, step, step.
Walk.
Just keep walking. 

Once there wasn't much -- you'd think. 
Then the once became alright,
So right. 
And then came September. 

Don't forget September.

And now comes January...
What do you offer January?

So blue, 
Sky, so blue.
So warm,
Sun, so warm.
A silly cloud travels in the sky,
alone, 
quick, 
flirting...
What are you looking for?
Where are you going?

Lonesome cloud, you are alright.
So right. 
You are not alone, as everyone thinks. 
Stay with me, 
And we'll breathe. 

Oh, January...
What do you offer January?

I feel

My heart beats, 

I feel. 

My heart beats,

I tremble.

My heart beats,

I am one with you.

 I never thought possible I'd have wings.

I never thought possible I'd grow strong.

I never thought possible I'd choose...

And be chosen. 

I never thought possible you'd pick me up and we'd fly.

I knew it with our first kiss,

I knew it as I breathed the smell of your neck.

Truth: 

We cut ourselves too short of our possibilities. 

I once was afraid to laugh.

I once was afraid to love.

A new heart print. 

New. 

The moment came.

The air whispered it to me.

The sun rose from behind the mountains,

Black to green.

Yellow bathed the world with flowers and smiles.

Dark waters turned crystal clear.

What was once steel now became my soft skin.

The moment came and there were colors.

The moment came and I saw you.

You were under the same sky,

You were there.

I was there.

You were there.

Everything was spirit,

Everything was light. 

I saw you.

You were there.

I see you.

You are here.

Rise to spiritual consciousness.

Everything is spirit.

Everything is light. 

Living

Bones, muscles, nerves, skin.
The involuntary actions of a beating heart and the expansion/contraction of our lungs.
A machine at its best.
Life.
Being alive.

What about the intangible element of feeling and spirit?
Recalling a memory and then your mouth curls up to smile, your heart races up, your temperature rises, and you feel light as a feather.
Looking into someone's eyes and feel locked, transfixed--lost and found-- and feel a greater you.
Hearing someone's voice and witness an overpowering sensation of calm, peace, safety.
Touching someone's chest and your lungs expand to the absolute maximum, the feeling of admiration is so encompassing that you know you are experiencing love.
True love.
Liberating love.

There is so much in the territory of the unknown:
Mystery.
Some call it energy,
Others call it soul.

The divinity of life,
Where mystery meets the known,
Faith.
Faith in that golden connection that makes us feel alive.
Not be alive, but FEEL alive.
It's light.
It's the highest power of existence.
It's where body and spirit become one flowing river--
Clean,
Pulsing,
Present,
Clear.
True.

Nobody knows...

Blood became a heartbeat,
A heartbeat became a life.
The life designed by who knows who,
or,
who knows what.

A life of smiles, tears,
laughter and cries.
A life of yearns,
a life of sorrows and love.

The road is undefined.
There is no road, really.
It does not take us forward or backwards or sideways:
It's just blood, heartbeat, breath, life.

The flower in me is dancing to the sun:
I close my eyes to the rays that bathe my face,
I smile as I twirl and feel the tender heat on the back of my neck.
I bow.

The wolf in me is quiet and alone:
My gaze is transfixed with the movement of a tree laughing at the breeze.
I question, I wonder, I think, I do not move.

The bird in me is dreaming with the sky:
My wings are strong, my feathers susceptible to the wind.
I dream of different shores, of finding one that's mine...only mine.

The lion in me throbs and thumps with my (yes, my) fire:
I will not settle, I think.
The truth is...I can't.

Blood became my heartbeat,
That heartbeat became my life.

Nobody knows...

MYSTERY

It's been a lifetime since I've felt my body,
felt the joy,
felt the lightness in my feet -- to jump, to run, to dance.

I want to swing my head around,
sway my hair to the winds -- of the coasts, of the mountains, of the woods.
Dig my feet in the mud, the ice, the sand, and the water.
I want to raise my arms and offer my chest to the sky.
I want to sing to all rhythms, to all words ever written.
I want to kiss with the sweetness of an orange,
Peel my clothes off as if they were petals of a rose.
I want to feel the warmth of your skin with every angle of my body,
As if our bodies were dancers of a gentle breeze.
I want our hearts to beat to one pulse as we move on close, deeper.
Sweat so sweet and salty,
become blind with our colors.

Time is so mysterious.
We measure it as if we knew the answer as to how it works.
We count seconds, minutes, hours, days, years, and so on...as if it gave us meaning.
Minutes can last a year,
A year can last a few days,
Yesterday was a lifetime ago,
and today means a decade.

Life can swallow you up,
make you into a ball and throw you off-field.
Life can slap you,
can kiss you,
can pamper you,
can shake you.

Life brought us together,
Time allowed me to see you.
Life swallowed me up when I looked into your eyes.
Two souls crushed by wickedness, corruption, and perversion.
Two souls healing,
Wanting truth.
Discovery, growth.
Mind blowing mystery - a question, an answer, an answer, a question.

I face myself (my fears, my troubles, my hurting) through you,
I challenge myself with you,
I learn and yearn to be better for you, with you.
Who are you?
A strong heart, a powerful heart, a compelling heart,
that leaves me breathless, yet makes me scream?
The smile of goodness, the hand of kindness, the will of truth,
that drives me to joy, to unknown lands of safety and honesty?

Who are you?
You are.

LIGHT

The light.
Light.
Light allowing us to see what needs to be seen.
Light that shines on what is many times hidden-- mostly by ourselves.
Light on our feet that carry us day by day, step by step, to unknown lands.
No land is the same.
No day or night is equal to the previous one.
Shine a light on that.
Light it up.

A river.
Flows incessantly, driving liters of water down the stream.
Liquid life that touches and licks stones, dirt, grass, and even carries fishes perhaps.
You blink,
gone.
That river is gone.
A river never stops.
A river will not rewind.
A river will follow its course.

An empty stage.
The world.
A breath, a body, a word.
Light and you're seen.
Your the player, the actor, you lead the role.

Life and light.
Unstoppable.
Unbroken.
Perpetual.
The light is yours to find,
yours to live,
yours to honor.

Light on love,
Light on life.
It can only get deeper,
fuller,
truer.

My oath

I close my eyes,
I touch my chest that stands between my hand and my heart. 
I link my mind, my hand, my heart, my soul.

I dig my feet on the wet sand,
the ground holds me.
I breathe,
I step,
I see,
I contemplate,
I give thanks. 

I'm no different than many, I think. 
I want to love with the freedom of birds.
I want to smile with the colors of the flowers. 

Years of black thick oil on my bones.
No wonder the heaviness.
Countless dreamless nights:
I had forgotten how to dream. 

I was faceless,
I was blurry, 
I was ice -- the one that would never melt, only freeze.

Now.
I look at the wide ocean, 
I wonder if there is someone looking at the other end. 
The breeze gently brushes and tickles my neck,
Such beauty to be seen and felt. 

The truth is I am a gentle fish.
Currents pull me in, and sometimes drift me away. 
I too swim.
I swim to clear waters,
warm waters,
where I can feel strong, 
at ease,
in peace. 

I'm a gentle fish with a lion's heart.
A creation of water and fire. 
My lion is my truth.
My lion is my strength,
My blood and heat, 
my drive. 
Yet do not be fooled-- I cry. 
I cry and melt and bruise and woe.

I walk the sand,
Dream the ocean,
Breathe the salt,
Smile the sun.  

Silence

Silence.
Silence the words of those who rattle.
Silence who speaks the unnecessary,
Silence the buzz. 

Silence the cold hearts who freeze those around,
fearing warmth,
fearing truth.

Silence the eyes that look for shadows,
that see what is not there, 
but incessantly seek the dark. 

Silence the touch of pretense,
the hand that does not really touch, 
just burns. 

Just lay in silence.

You'll find the world of colors,
share the universe of peace.

WARRIOR HEARTS

The heart of a boy,

A boy that smiles with birds,

Dreams of oceans,

Laughs with crayons.

The heart of a girl,

A girl that stares at flowers,

Dreams of flying,

Laughs while dancing.

Two hearts in a billion.

Two souls in a zillion.

Cheated, once.

Crushed, once.

Meet.

A hand,

A thumb,

A stare,

A choice.

Two.

But how many?

Passed?

Will come?

Two.

Followed the birds,

Faced the oceans,

Stared at flowers,

Prayed to stars,

Stood beneath the moon,

Got lost in the green,

Dug their feet in mud,

Drowned in their tears,

Breathed until it hurt...

Two.
Dreamed...

Never stopped breathing, 

Believing:
One day it will be different.

Faith. 

Two hearts.

In battle.

Unstoppable. 

Defenders.

Guardians.

Warriors.

PerMISSION to PLAY

I stole this title from a being of light.  She's an amazing yoga teacher, dancer, player. That's how she titles her work: "PerMISSION to PLAY". 

I want to play.
I've always wanted to play. 

                 Hide and seek.
                              Tag.
                                  Jumping rope.

                In front of a mirror, a singer.
                             In front of an invisible audience, a dancer.
                                  On my parents bed, a gymnast. 

The wonders of creativity,
The wonders of my world,
The wonders of the world. 

When did we become too old, 
too serious,
too responsible,
to play? 

When did we get polluted with embarrassment? 
Too shy to dance,
Too insecure to sing,
or even laugh out loud? 

Our wonders. 
Our curves, our secret corners. 
Our light. 

Play is freedom,
Let's play and explore, discover!
Through our body runs veins of blood,
and veins of endless curiosity. 

Break the walls of protection,
you are safe. 
We are safe. 

Burst open to new lands,
climb new mountains,
dig my feet in new earth,
sprint, run, and fly... 
I plunge through new doors,
new eyes,
new tears,
of laughter, sadness, pain, excitement, pleasure, passion. 

Walk out on the rain,
Step on big puddles.
Turn up the music,
Dance freely as you cook. 
Walk towards that someone,
Hug them to the bone,
Kiss,
Tickle, 
Laugh,
Undress.

Wrestle in bed,
Laugh.
Kiss,
Bite a little,
Play, play, play...

A Night

The night measured by the number of stars that twinkle, burst, and explode.
The day calculated by the number of waves that lick the shore for love.

A night.
A day.
Sometimes that is all we get.

An endless night (or so I hope) begins when I feel my face come close to yours,
locking in a sweet soft kiss.
Your smell,
Your eyes,
Closed.

A night of sounds: crackling wood on fire.
So warm,
So tender,
Safe.

A night of words,
Spoken softly on each others ears.
The truth unveils desires, dreams, hidden thoughts, secrets.
So explosive,
So vivid,
Real.

A night of smiles,
The kind that needs no mouth or lips.
A smile in a hand, in a touch, in a gaze.
A tear,
A moan,
Sincere.

A night that fades,
we fade.
We breathe, we fly, we dream.
I look, you look.
Your eyes.
The day.

Follower of Light

New roads,
New paths to discover and walk upon. 

The feeling of unknown, 
Of letting go,
Giving in. 

(Not giving up, but giving in)

A certainty:
Feet have walked these dirt roads before,
Breaths have exhaled these same passions.
I have found my tribe,
The tribe of hearts.

Mind lost,
No recollection,
(What happened, 
Where was I?)
I was just living too intensely, 
Being so alive. 

When skin becomes fire,
When sounds become lightning.
Though night is still black,
The soul can see with its own light. 

What storm am I in,
Whose rain is salty,
Of sweat and tears of joy?
I am bathed in ocean water,
Submerged in saline lakes.

I vanish,
Go astray.
My heart was beating,
leading my way.

I am of the tribe of hearts,
I am of the dancing spirits,
a follower of light.
My house is built with kindness,
My land protected by truth.

My feet walk these roads,
My breath exhales these passions,
I am of the tribe of hearts,
a follower of light. 

I perceive

Feet,
Knees,
Hips,
Spine,
Head.
The body in it's core.
Bones.

Heart,
Muscle,
Soft tissue,
Silk.

I am a tree
(Once a seed)
I am one of many trees.

Rooted to the earth whose center is made of fire.
I am fire, therefore.

I am a tree that grows,
Cries,
Laughs,
Tickles,
And loves.
Loves so dearly,
So tender.

Veins of water,
Blood,
and honey
flow inside me,
through me,
beyond me,
to the depths of our web,
to the sky,
ignites the stars so they expand,
explode,
rain upon us to create new life.

My life,
Your life,
Our life.

The world is on fire,
And breeds us to new beginnings.

The tree of love,
The tree of life.

The Earth Shakes

In a country of ocean, mountains and valleys,
The earth is charged with powerful forces that call the best of
you,
me, 
all. 
Calls the truth.  

A strong heart speaks words of truth,
like never before.
Speaks a language unknown to many. 
Tongue of fire, that burns lies,
deceit,
distrust,
speculations.

Silence is gold,
silver,
copper.

This land won't stand for pretense.
This land is magnetic,
mysterious,
secretive.

Red,
Velvet,
Purple,
and Blue.
Are the waters of the rivers that bathe us.
The blood of those gone,
the blood of those here,
the blood of those coming.

Green,
Brown,
Orange,
and Black.
Is the soil that holds the souls when we sleep.
Souls of those gone,
Souls of those here,
Souls of those coming. 

Blue,
White,
Yellow,
and Pink.
The vast ceiling of our dreams. 
Dreams of those gone,
Dreams of those here,
Dreams of those coming. 

The Earth shakes.
Heat, 
Friction. 
Energy of truth,
Inevitable. 
A crack,
A ray of light,
A shift,
Blinding colors.

Heart pounding,
Fragile skin,
tender,
soft.

Breath short,
Smooth voice,
trembles with excitement,
aroused. 

Electric feet,
toes spread,
legs unsettle.
Hips sway.

A moan,
A scream,
Release.
The heart shakes,
the ground,
the Earth shakes.

1,2...

A rush of sorrow is lying beneath my skin.
It is beyond what has happened,
what was said,
or done.

There is a stream of aching that invades my heart.
Has me flooded in tears,
making my bones weak,
my muscles collapse,
and I fall to the ground.

I listen to the ground.
Like I picture myself resting upon your gentle heart.
1,2
1,2
1,2
1,2

Why do I feel so much?
A lady once told me: that's your gift, and your doom.
I never believe that, 
could anything be more cliché? 

How is it that we live as immortals,
love with no heart,
care with no hands,
and think with no mind?

Pain is beautiful.
Joy is beautiful,
but Peace and Truth are holy.

I wish to breathe in white,
I wish to step on green,
and bathe in blue.
Be warm in yellow,
and love,
laugh,
in red.

Maybe it is what has happened,
what was said,
and done.

I just will not follow.

I will not settle to the rotten desires that respond to,
selfish,
heartless,
senseless,
hurtful,
bickering and winning.

I will not settle,
not to the empty words that speak of violence,
disguised in quotidian,
common,
conventional,
dialogue.

The truth is:
I'm tired.
But I'm hopeful.
This heart of mine won't surrender.
I'll stand in my integrity.

Privacy

Yellow and blue,
sun and ocean.
A wildflower,
a drop of rain.
A silly bee,
the sky at dawn.

A boy is bouncing a ball against the pavement,
There is talking,
more boys join in.
There's laughing.
The bouncing stops,
Running steps take over. 
Bouncing continues. 

There is a blue breeze that cleans the air,
more laughing.
The yellow rays touch a girls knees,
she sits and looks at the scene.
She looks at the boy.  
He knows she's there.

Next to her is a white bicycle, 
her faithful friend.
She likes white and green.

She does not speak, she just watches.
She's engaged.
Her back and neck reveal that:
her posture is perfect. 

The yellow makes her warm,
the blue keeps her awake.
Her slim mouth is slightly open, 
she's spellbound.
Her cold toes move, almost unnoticeable,
it's her private excitement. 

She quietly smiles,
the boy has seen her.
No one noticed.
She likes that. 

Underneath her dress her heart is pounding.
If they only knew. 

The boy bounces the ball, 
he plays to his heartbeat, 
which gets faster and faster.
He stands in the yellow, he loves the blue.
A glance,
he smiles. 

She smells of flowers, he thinks.

He smiles,
The girl blinks agreeing,
No one noticed.
They like that. 

My Battle

I stare at the ceiling,
I do not move.
I only blink.

To be extremely accurate I can perceive my chest rise and fall,
And as I lay my hand upon my navel, I can feel my heartbeat. 

I look at the ceiling.
I don't look for answers,
I actually take the time to remember my dreams. 

Dreams...
What are dreams?

Are they not but just imaginary fixations of outcomes, based on....what?
Are dreams a fanciful way of saying desires?
But are they really quite the same thing?
Dreams are what we wish for, yearn, hope, maybe even pray for.

Dreams of the night.
What are those then? 
Mysterious messages from our unconscious,
Words of some god,
Fears,
and yes, hopes too. 

I lay inert,
I do not even wear clothes.
My bare skin open to the ceiling,
to the sky,
to the planets to look at,
to the stars to shine on,
to the moon to pull. 

I lay,
with my dreams,
with my demons,
as I'd lay after some war in a battlefield. 
You might not see my wounds,
nor smell my blood, 
but I can't move.
The only thing I have left is my breath.

I've crawled under blankets of fear,
of shame,
of anger, 
but most of all
I've crawled under the iron blanket of unworthiness.
I've curved my back inwards so hard that I forgot there was a world beyond than my bony knees and the ground 
where I'd fall on,
again, again, again. 
That
Was my reality.

Now I'm chest up, open.
Still in battle...
something held in a dark corner inside me.
Between my rib bones,
On the insides of my clavicle,
Right beneath my sternum.

My body still does not move,
I lay.
I blink.
My ribs rise,
My legs lay heavy,
My sternum shines.

Something happens.
I close my eyes.
And I find a lake, a river, an ocean,
for now my eyes flood with salty tears.
I hear a voice:
(I'm so afraid, I'm so afraid, I'm so afraid)
Trust. 
You are enough.

Breath altered.
In, out,
sobbing.
In, out,
sobbing.
In, out,
nothing.
In...
sobbing.
This is war.  
My battle. 

I hear a voice:
(tell me, tell me, tell me)
Why are you so afraid?

I open my eyes.

My naked skin still exposed,
surrenders...