My oath

I close my eyes,
I touch my chest that stands between my hand and my heart. 
I link my mind, my hand, my heart, my soul.

I dig my feet on the wet sand,
the ground holds me.
I breathe,
I step,
I see,
I contemplate,
I give thanks. 

I'm no different than many, I think. 
I want to love with the freedom of birds.
I want to smile with the colors of the flowers. 

Years of black thick oil on my bones.
No wonder the heaviness.
Countless dreamless nights:
I had forgotten how to dream. 

I was faceless,
I was blurry, 
I was ice -- the one that would never melt, only freeze.

Now.
I look at the wide ocean, 
I wonder if there is someone looking at the other end. 
The breeze gently brushes and tickles my neck,
Such beauty to be seen and felt. 

The truth is I am a gentle fish.
Currents pull me in, and sometimes drift me away. 
I too swim.
I swim to clear waters,
warm waters,
where I can feel strong, 
at ease,
in peace. 

I'm a gentle fish with a lion's heart.
A creation of water and fire. 
My lion is my truth.
My lion is my strength,
My blood and heat, 
my drive. 
Yet do not be fooled-- I cry. 
I cry and melt and bruise and woe.

I walk the sand,
Dream the ocean,
Breathe the salt,
Smile the sun.