LINK

Today has been another day of great inspiration.  It is hard for me to find words to fully express all the thoughts, feelings and sensations that I've been experiencing throughout the last months, weeks, days. I say it is difficult because although language (written and spoken) is key for communication and connection, the element of feeling--the indescribable, intangible "stuff"/substance/energy-- is always hard to pinpoint and provide. You just feel it.

I want to take a micro step back, and reflect upon what I've just mentioned: the "stuff". I believe that it is the basic, most essential element and power that we possess as living creatures. We are not just mental, rational thinking beings. We have the godly power and beautiful capacity to experience, sense, perceive and FEEL--from  physical situations of our own personal every day lives, to what is happening in our surroundings to others. The power of connection lies in our ability of compassion, to feel with the heart.

Compassion lies in opening up, lies in vulnerability, lies in the heart, lies in love...not solely in mind. Mind and heart work together. They co-exist and flow in unison: building, feeding, creating love and ultimately life. 

So I sit and wonder. I wonder- -there is an element of questioning as well as amazement to the beauty of the working of things-- I am alive.  That is a given: I am here, right now, cross-legged sitting in my kitchen table, breathing, with a beating heart pumping blood to my heart. I can see, hear, smell, taste, touch. I can think, I can feel. 
How am I living? And then comes the key to it all...the key word: choice.  Choice in my intentions, choice in my attitudes, choice in my beliefs, choice in my actions, choice. Choice with what I link.  In this vast universe there is a boundless, limitless, endless pool of possibilities. In fact they already exist. They are there. Beating, pulsating. It is the reality that I choose to link with what makes it my reality. The beauty of it is that it is not fixed or unchangeable...wonder strikes again (jaw-opened wonder, fascination, inspiration). 

Life is wonder-ful.

I've mentioned this before, and it is something I practice on daily and full-heartedly: link on the positive, love, today. I repeat this, share it, and now set my intentions on today and my chosen reality TODAY, because I've just recently come to realize that by focusing on: "what I've been doing in the past", filling my being with messages of "let go of this, let go of that", identifying the "do not's", etc...I was still linking to that reality. Therefore, ultimately no shift.
 Many lineages of thought, philosophies, religions speak of this phenomenon. I've been reading, listening, reflecting, and sharing upon some. 
Yoga has been my pillar and light to my personal experience. I am forever grateful. 

TKV Desikachar: "As we continue our practice, we begin to see the possibilities of higher linkage of mind and spirit... Recognizing our responsibilities and intentions, pursuing them with faith is the guide to the linkage that takes us to the higher levels of experience."

I acknowledge the path I've traveled, and I am grateful, for it has led me to where I am today. 
A second lilium in my flower vase bloomed, cracked open today.

Today I woke up to a cloudy gray Sunday.  I practiced my morning practice, setting my intentions, chanting to the Sun. Midday: the great star cracked open in the sky, bathing us with light and warmth.  I am with my flower, I am the flower.
--Fía

SUPER MOON

Today’s words are in honor of the moon.  The Super Moon we will all have the pleasure to observe and admire.  It turned out to be somewhat serendipity, since yesterday afternoon, out of the blue, I re-watched and shared an outstanding video (TED talk) with my brother.  Particle physicist Brian Cox in a few minutes expresses, inspires and defends the significance of research (scientific and non-scientific) in life. Through curiosity, exploration, investigation and a yearning for knowledge our lives can change tremendously.  This is not solely about scientific data, numbers, but it spreads beyond to shifts of paradigms, “truths”, limitations and barriers of our potential as human beings. 

Who are we in the big beautiful picture called universe? We are part of a divine system—not independent, alien, superior or inferior.  And I choose the term “divine” for its beauty & magnificence is overpowering, all pervading…there must be some divinity involved.  At least I believe so.

It is humbling too. We are a blue dot. I am a little itty bitty creature (now the idea of “hormiguita”/ “little ant” is kind of accurate) among the vast universe… I’m running out of words to describe what we are, where we belong: this huge space of wonder, boundless, extensive, expansive, magnanimous possibility.

It is humbling…and yet inspiring and empowering.  We are a small part of this cosmos, and yet we are grand.  Me, you, each and every one of us.  Then is when I stop and think, reconsider and find reassurance that our actions matter.  We hold this great gift of existence, we’ve been granted this privilege of “belonging” to this firmament, heaven, nirvana, Zion—what shall we do with it?  The gift has been bestowed to every single one of us, and together can become a powerful force to further greatness. 

Yes, I think, as I listen to this wise man and observe the images of my home…I’m so tiny in the scale of the universe, but I’m NOT insignificant.  I am NOT nothing.

I am actually a tiny particle that can reflect beauty, create beauty, spread inspiration, build higher grounds.

I feel empowered…and in a selfless kind of way.

Today is Super Moon Day.  It is the day/night when our home is closest to it’s beautiful satellite.  Thinking about that, about my connection to my planet, my link to space and its different components (which are so unknown to me, and yet are there…) takes me some place filled with a peculiar joy and state of awareness. Tonight I want to honor my existence, tonight I want to give thanks to “belonging”, tonight I want to take the time to really “be,” experience “being” and be grateful. 

Me, you, everyone is a part of this world—good, bad, happy, sad, big, small.  We all belong to this home…a blue dot in the wonders of the universe.       

If you are interested--which I highly HIGHLY recommend-- take a look at this talk.  It is worthwhile!

STEP

Hands on keyboard, ready to let my system flow....
What is it that is going through me today, right now?
What is it that i want to say?
I tend to have thousand of ideas to blog about, then as I see my reflection on my screen (from the sun that is warming my back) I go through this empty, completely blank moment. And then I get started and usually end up--again-- having too many things to say.

Yesterday was about letting go, surrendering to the Western calculating, measuring, competitive mindset of life.  How concepts and ideas of winning and losing (in all it's levels) takes over our actions, intentions and ultimately our life. Letting go of results and accomplishing certain expectations actually provides great freedom.  Freedom to adventure, freedom to surprise, freedom to knowledge, freedom to connection, love and breath. Conscious breath-- "where there is breath, there is life".
Because I've been thinking...these expectations that we set for ourselves respond to a specific moment or need during a specific time/circumstance.  Then they become this goal, fixed in some fictitious world, which is not necessarily useful, healthy or significant anymore.
I've had the opportunity, the pleasure of discovering that.  I'm grateful for that.  My reaction is not anger, frustration, regret or sorrow...but actually, as I embrace the "now", I give thanks to be awareness, to see and feel that.  And it just requires a choice.  Take a choice.  Don't step forward along that path, turn right, turn left, or in a diagonal, or even backwards...it's OK.
The great teacher TKV Desikachar (Health, Healing and Beyond) magnificently suggests: I quote.


"We must never feel guilty or ashamed about experiencing the avidya-dukha cycle (the constraints upon our physical and mental life that lead to illness and discontent).  It is as fair and universal as death itself, visited upon each and every one of us."

So make a choice.
I make a choice. With this choice comes great sacrifice, great effort, ultimate truthfulness, kindness and gratitude.
He continues:


"To effect change in our lives is a process of progressive linkage of the mind, a replacement of less desirable associations of the mind with the more desirable....with proper diet and continuous practice, we begin to achieve health of body, clarity of mind, and the ability to communicate and to relate on the other levels with those around us.  Already much of the stress in our lives is reduced. But we can progress further. As we continue our practice, we begin to see the possibilities of higher linkages of mind and spirit. The role of the senses and our emotions become more apparent. On the basis of self-reflection; we see how they tend always to draw us back into old patterns, into old grooves of thought, action, and response.  This is based on experience, such as "I have failed before and probably will again".  We can displace this condition and replace it with something more positive."

Words of wisdom, words of hope, faith and strength.
I connect to Grace and life.
I sit with my intentions every morning, breathe and link.

I see today.
I hear today.
I smell today.
I taste today.
I touch-feel today.

I let prāna (vital energy) flow in, through and out of me.

--Fía.

Sea of Ideas

So this is day two--although it really isn't actually the second one-- of my new path.  As I type and even think about the sentence I just wrote a question jumps right in: why measure? why count? 

And what might sound like a simple little question takes me on a loop and something that has been surrounding me, bathing me like an ocean wave-- what makes me calculate, measure things all the time? why? what for? As though life were a competition, a board game (much like monopoly) where there is a bank, money, points and little squares to move forward, backwards, get stuck in "jail" or even lose a turn. 

Wow. 

And then through self-inquiry I can feel every fiber in my body cringe, quail, tremble, shake. It is very complex though, because at the same time I can sense the "programming" of years and years that responds exactly to that very mindset.  

I can sense it creeping up stirring my waters. And a battle takes place. 

It comes accompanied with low vibrations, where the main characters of this fictitious play is Fear, Guilt, Pain, Punishment and Exhaustion.  All these ghostly figures that once I name them and recognize them make me realize that as the writer of this play I definitely want to make them go away in Act I, scene I. 

I don't need that, nobody does, and it is my choice to bring them to life..

No...i'll probably make them plan a trip together somewhere, and tragically make them pass away--all together, lost in a canoe in some storm in a sea of turbulent waters. Or maybe to make it a bit less dramatic, have them go on vacations to a paradisiac beach, where through sunshine, ocean, sand, music of nature decide to stay there...indefinitely.   

Then the sun comes out, scene II and beautiful beings come to play: Tranquility, Love, Kindness, Faith and Generosity. And the play unfolds...these characters inside me, within me, all me. 

It is a different kind of play, it does not necessarily follow the traditional standards of playwriting and action.  Time, place and setting are important, but it is all interconnected, all happening organically in the present.  

Where are we going? Who knows!

What do we want? It is an on-going inquiry leaded by love and honesty. 

There is movement, there are actions, there are thoughts, feelings, plans.  

There is creativity and overall energy with stability and light.  Light: clarity, luminosity, ease, lightness.

No measuring.

Swimming in a sea of ideas, creativity and presence.

So this all brings me back to my first sentence and the concept of life in numbers, achievements, gaining, buying, selling, consuming, wasting, wining and losing. 

Who is keeping score? Myself? Some invented fictitious entity that I (we) will meet in some misty future? 

Īśvaraprānidhānāni-- devotion, faith of divinity (and our actions), surrendering to results and expectations.

  

I am breathing, walking, swimming, flying in today's sea.  That's all...

NEW

It’s a new place.

A new day.

A new life.

** warning: excess use of the word “new”**

Receiving sunlight, warmth of the “Rey Sol” (King Sun) in the Southern hemisphere. Another place on Earth, a different view, a new experience: sounds, smells, feelings.  A new place, where not only am I physically somewhere else, but facing fresh circumstances, situations and challenges.  I like the word “fresh”—just as much as “awareness” and “consciousness”—because it embraces the concept of life, being alive. Fresh, alive, growing, beating. 

Fresh like a crispy lettuce, fresh as grass bathed with morning dew, fresh as flowers oozing an exquisite mild sweet fragrance or ocean mist!

So, I like fresh.

Having said that, I know and I must be honest and acknowledge the challenges ahead of me.  I’ve just experienced a significant change in my life.  And I shall not disregard it. Living with mindfulness of what every new day offers is what I believe in, is my personal practice.  This new journey has begun and I will live it fully.  Fully with its up’s and down’s…full with every breath…full with moments of ease and moments of stress, full with awareness of my existence, alert and sensitive of my intentions and my actions. 

I feel proud of what I’ve accomplished.  I feel proud with what I have experienced and learned.  Grounded and strong of my beliefs and where I am today.  The more I reflect upon it, the more I feel reassured of the beauty of life—my life: what I have constructed to be where I am right now, my inner strength and my faith.  I thank my journeys, I thank the people that have walked my walk, I thank life for the opportunities… the key thing is, though, to acknowledge that and then breathe here, today.  It’s tempting to get stuck in the past: get trapped in comparisons, regrets or impatient/anxious in a non-existent future. 

Day to day, today. 

Step by step, today.

I have been absent for some days…missing writing terribly where I allow myself “momentitos” (little moments) of evaluation and space of connection with life, love and divinity.

Here I am now. With love. With surrender.

This morning, as I practiced yoga in my new space, I came across the concept of “samtosa” (samtosha): contentment.  As I was on my matt, inhaling and exhaling, I was able to encounter in a new deeper level the experience of being where I was: a little room, my space, the temperature, the morning, Santiago, Chile.

“Samtosa”, contentment.  The appreciation of what I have, where I am. 

Letting go of what I could have, what I should have, what I don’t have—again, letting go of comparisons, thoughts such as: this is better/worse than… if I only had… I can’t wait for…etc. 

“Samtosa” with myself, with my environment, with my breath, with my life, with life. 

And you see, contentment implies “containing”; hence sustaining that marvelous feeling of appreciation, gratitude, kindness, goodness. 

Contentment— “it is enough”. I’m blessed.

It’s not easy, that is where “tapah”—discipline, practice, sacrifice—plays its part.  Creating heat, for it is challenging. 

Practice, effort; surrendering to external results.  “Abhyasa”, inner practice with faith, just simple faith.

Today I breathed with samtosa…

Contentment, gratitude, kindness.  

** How wise were our fellows McCartney, Lennon, Harrison, Ringo: “Let it be”.

Madre Tierra

Earth day.
Dia de la Tierra.  


My blessings to you, today, home...
I celebrate you every day, and feel blessed to be a part of you.  
Today I woke up with extra awareness of your existence, of your beauty, wisdom and divinity. 
You are divine. 
My yoga practice was for you.  As my limbs moved through space, as my lungs inhaled and exhales, I breathed for you. My heart beat for you, the focus of mind and intention was in your honor.  
I chanted for you, a prayer to your wonder.
Appreciation and gratefulness to be a part of you.  


You are life, you are creation, you are love. 
I reflect and think that we have not treated you very well, how you deserve to be treated.  
I apologize. 
It's shameful how we're behaving like little rascals, selfish creatures not acknowledging where we come from, where we are, and what is to come.


I don't forget, I am part soil, part water, part air, part fire, part ether.  
I am earth too. 
I palpitate with you. 


I also feel alive...now.  I do not dwell on the past, I do not live in the past.  
I surrender, bow my head humbly and let go of regrets, anger, frustration, hatred, violence..regrets (yes, i repeat, regrets). 
I live now...atha...
what are my attitudes? what are my intentions? what is my behavior? what is my goal?
I act now.  
Practice what you preach.


Ahimsa: non-violence.  
Satya: truthfulness
Asteya: non-stealing
Bramhacarya: moderation
Aparigrahah: non-greediness.  


The now is crucial, important, precious, miraculous.
What will come starts in the now.
I know i'm not alone and that there is love everywhere.  
That is all, the choice of love.   


Oh Earth, mother of mine, Goddess...
I take care of you-- 
I celebrate you with love & light. 


--Fía.

Bird Dance

"The miracle is to walk the earth."

Chief Luther Standing Bear - Land of the Spotted Eagle

"The old people came literally to love soil and they sat around or reclined on the ground with a feeling of being close to the mother power. It was good for the skin to touch the earth and the old people liked to remove their moccasins and walk with bare feet on the sacred earth. Their tipis were built upon the earth and their alters were made of earth. The birds that flew into the air came to rest upon the earth and it was the final abiding place of all things that lived and grew. The soil was soothing, strengthening, cleansing and healing."


Isn't this beautiful? The earth, connection with the earth.  As the creatures that we are. 


Today, I got a chance to see two little birds flirt, give court, romance each other.  One fluttering it's wings, expanding it's feathers and moving around..the other: chirping, standing still, acting kind of aloof and cool.  
Then a third party arrives! This fellow is clumsy, overly energetic, loud and very direct.  It takes one quick precise move of one of original couple, and the intruder is gone.  Flies away.
The dance of liaison continues...


Sound familiar?
Creatures of the earth. 


I love being a witness of such encounters of nature. It makes me feel part of something beautiful, and reaffirm that life is a dance of love, of creation and wisdom. 
How detached can we become at times...and that pains me. It really does.  Pain.  Legitimate, truthful pain. When there is the possibility of love, nurture, kindness, why is there then conscious destruction, abuse, and injustice? 
Carelessness and ignorance is killing the treasures that we have in front of us.  Ignorance towards the consequences of our actions, or even worst, carelessness towards them.  
Mother Earth is bountiful, but will not stand indifferent to our abuse. There is an end to misuse of resources, there will be consequences. 


I stand in awe when i see educated people be so unmindful, inattentive to their behaviors and actions. I don't want to be part of "disposable" culture and society.  And i see that around me all the time.  Pain...again. Buy, buy, buy...throw out, throw out, throw out. 
Whatever is more convenient, easy, comfortable; what flavorless, unattractive, ambivalent words.  Do not like--at all. 


I go back to the two birds and their romance. 
They know what it's all about.


I want no part in violence..and we are being violent to ourselves, to our fellow humans, to the creatures of the earth, to the earth itself. 


I have faith though.  I'm not tuning down to bitterness, anger, frustration and pain.  No, i know that all i can do is produce change in me, and that will make a difference. I will act according to my beliefs and live knowing that i come from the earth, the soil, i am part of it.  


--Fia.

Contigo

Me siento a escribir hoy con la intención de trasmitir mi fe y amor por la vida.  Es difícil cuando veo que ocurren acontecimientos que llenan a gente que quiero con dolor y tristeza. 
Personalmente, mi vida está tomando una nueva forma--o quizás debería decir que está tomando forma.  Punto. 
Reconectarme con mi existencia, con el milagro de la vida, y saber que tomar conciencia de la vida y sus posibilidades es bastante poderoso.  Y me refiero a poder no en relación a la competencia, a status, o como manera de clasificar un "arriba/superior" y un "abajo/inferior" con el resto.  
Sí un superior conmigo misma, con un poder que al final me trae felicidad, paz, generosidad y gratitud. 


Todos estos son conceptos de los que he escrito y escrito en los últimos días, semanas...pero es como una plegaria, un rezo...del cual hay que practicar, sentir y vivir. 


En este camino hacia la conciencia, conexión con la frecuencia del amor, me he visto más sensible.  Me he encontrado sintiendo, vivenciando emociones genuinas que brotan de mi centro--de mi corazón-- y que no sólo responden a mis experiencias directas, a mi día a día, a mi realidad física. Me he visto con movimiento interno, conectando con seres que no están conmigo, con criaturas de toda especie, a lo lejos, que sé que están amando y (lamentablemente) sufriendo.   


Escribo estas palabras hoy, para trasmitir, comunicar y compartir mi existencia con ellos--con ustedes.  Reitero que coexistimos en este maravilloso planeta que nos otorga tanto.  Somos parte de una red de corazones, latiendo juntos.  
A veces nos sentimos solos, nos sentimos derrotados, incomprendidos, perdidos...pero estas palabras de mi humilde ser te quiere decir que no es así. Yo estoy contigo.  Es importante darse el tiempo y el espacio para conocerse a uno mismo--un tiempo de reflexión, sentir lo que se está sintiendo, escucharse, escuchar tu corazón-- pero no sentir soledad.  
Yo estoy contigo; el astro Sol está contigo y salió hoy, brindando luz para tí; los pajaritos están contigo, la tierra palpita contigo, tu respiración está contigo.  


Si estas pasando por momentos difíciles, yo estoy en ese camino contigo, vivamos ese momento y tengamos fe que la rueda de la vida dará vueltas y que nada es duradero--siempre hay nuevas oportunidades.  Vivamos el dolor y así luego estaremos preparados para lo nuevo que se presenta en el camino.  


Yo tengo fe en el amor.  Yo vivo para el amor, con amor.  Esa es mi fe, el amor--el verdadero amor que nace de adentro-- ese es mi Dios. Y donde hay Dios hay vida. 


Yo estoy contigo.  


--Fía.

Sometimes I lay under the moon
And I thank God I'm breathing
Then I pray don't take me soon
Cause I am here for a reason

Sometimes in my tears I drown
But I never let it get me down
So when negativity surrounds
I know someday it'll all turn around because

All my life I been waiting for
I been prayin for
For the people to say
That we don't want to fight no more
They'll be no more wars
And our children will play

One day

It's not about win or lose cause we all lose when they feed on the souls of the innocent blood drenched pavement keep on moving though the waters stay raging and in this life you may lose your way, it might drive you crazy but don't let it phase you no way

DIOS

Sentada frente al computador un poco en blanco.  
Thinking in Spanish--yet i write this in English.  


Sitting, writing and letting ideas come, feelings rise up and just "contemplar": ponder, contemplate. 
How am i doing today?
I had a good night sleep.  I had one of those strange dreams again where I held a conversation with a stranger.  Someone I've never met before.  I'd be lying if i said I remember what we talked about. It wasn't something too enlightening, it was more of a sharing act.  
i do remember that he was German.  We spoke in English, but he had somewhat of think accent.  
I haven't been seeing any German films, met any Germans, or even thought about Germany--he was just there.  He came by, we met each other as two clouds meet in the sky, dance around each other and then create together a cloud in unison. Yes, because i remember waking up at one point and feeling the flow of ideas, sensing our complicity, collaboration, as though finishing each other sentences. 


I woke up nice and early, naturally-- and smiled.  Felt rested. 
I feel i'm getting my groove back.  It's all in the timing.  
Timing...
Timing of my inner vibration, my home frequency, my heart beat, my heart center.  My Self. 


Running against time, running catching up...tired, so tired. 
I've had the privilege, the wonderful gift of discovering, exploring my rhythm, my timing.  Having the opportunity to really sense, with my heart, with love, the beauty of living and existence.  
I'm not talking about being illuminated here, or being enlightened--it's about practicing actively, speaking truthfully with myself--my wants, my needs, my beliefs, my love.  And act accordingly. 


I was talking about this with my brother last night.  Practice what you preach.  Acting in accordance to your beliefs.  It's an internal force that drives you.  God is nowhere to be found, God is not outside.  Religion is not behind doors or does not come with instructions.  God is ultimately love--the foundation of life--and it is inside me, inside you, in every living palpitating thing and creature in the universe. 
Yoga and life.  Not an hour practice on our mats--abandoned and forgotten for the rest of the day.
God, Divinity, Belief, Prayer.  Not a sporadic, isolated appointment in our daily lives--what about the other 23 hours of the day? 
God, faith, love, kindness and gratitude has no formula, has no dogma, set of rules or punishment.  If it comes from within, if you act accordingly...that's it. That is living.  That is owning life, that is existing.  
If not it's games, it's automatic, auto-pilot, mechanical habitual activities playing as life. 
The art of living comes from love, comes from that awareness of love and responding--with feelings, intentions, behaviors, actions-- to that love.
That is breath.  That is breathing.  Where there is THAT breath, there is life.  The great Krishnamacharya said: if there is breath, there is always something we can do.  


I'll end up with an idea I read from Osho, which I considered to be interesting:
There are three things in life: birth, love and death. 
Birth and death are certainties.  If you are here, there was birth.  And you will die.  There is no avoiding death. 
Then there is love.  You can choose to love.  You can choose love...and live.  Or you can evade love, shut off love...and not really exist.  There are only those two options.  With love, true love--that holds faith, kindness, collaboration, respect, gratitude-- there is no fear, there is freedom. 


I like that. 
Now is the time to love.  


--Fía.

LOVE

LOVE

The highest state of love is not a relationship at all, it is simply a state of your being.  

Just as trees are green, a love is loving.

They are not green for particular persons, it is not that when you come they become green.  

The flower goes on spreading its fragrance whether anybody comes or not, whether anybody appreciates or not.  The flower does not start releasing its fragrance when it sees that a great poet is coming by---

"Now this man will appreciate it, now this man will be able to understand who I am" 

And it does not close its doors when it sees that a stupid, idiotic person is passing there---

insensitive, dull, a politician or something like that.

It does not close itself. 

No, the flower goes on spreading its fragrance.  

It is a state of being, not a relationship. 

*Osho*

Connecting with the state of love.

How does it feel? What's my experience?

I feel love within myself, with myself, and breathing love. Sounds cliché, but as I confessed to my mother over the phone yesterday: every day I feel a tiny bit happier. It's a place of goodness, truthful goodness.

And I love the journey, I love this path-less state I'm in--not worrying about results. It is a journey, where the challenge lies in sustaining it. 

Letting go, surrender to who smells me. Who doesn't.

Just being. 

I'm becoming this flower because of what I believe in. In honor of the greatness in me. Honoring myself, honoring others, honoring the world, honoring life. It is a selfless act, which entails awareness, discipline, devotion and responsibility. 

I sense, feel, the beauty around me. My frequency is tuning in to growth, respect and beauty. 

Why sink in complaints? Why sink to tiredness? Carelessness? Sighs and frowns? 

Exuding perfume.

Sauca (cleanliness) is a beautiful thing to practice on. 

Make space, give time to cleanliness: of your space, in your feelings, in your thoughts and actions. 

It's easy to over-saturate, adorn. 

Samtosa (contentment) is a good pair of sauca. Take pride, acknowledge what you have. It's not about what you don't have. 

It's enough. The rest...let go. 

Contain, hold what you have--might be surprising how it's the simple things, intangible even, that acquire true meaning.

Samtosa...give thanks. 

For months now I have been cleaning up before going to bed. There is something precious about feeling the water in my body wash away dirt (beyond the literal), feeling clean as I go to rest for the night. 

My last moments awake are in silence giving thanks.

In this past week I've been practicing eating in silence (if alone), connecting with my food and the act of nourishment. 

If music is playing, I incorporate it. 

It is connecting and disconnecting--from distractions, technology, multi-tasking.

Before beginning I allow myself to breathe and give thanks. I appreciate what I have before me:  its energy is with me, feeds me and becomes me. 

It is a conscious act that involves lovingkindness and gratitude. 

I understand now how before I made it my enemy, an act of violence and rejection. How i was disconnecting, disappearing, not allowing the beautiful process of nourishment to happen--even in disposition, energetically.

That's why I sit down and give thanks. 

I give thanks to the better place I am in now. 

I give thanks to yoga that has shown me the path, for it's wisdom. For bringing me back.

I give thanks to life, for the day-to-day/ moment-to-moment opportunities of growth and well being. 

And most of all, I give thanks to love: for it has been, IS, the strength that has kept me alive. It is what holds life, the foundation of life, and what has me here today: filled with optimism and faith. 

I understand spirituality now, the sense of divinity. My particular belief of the presence of the divine.

Love; i find in nature, love I believe is the bond in all of us, friends, strangers, love in creation. 

Love; I have endlessly found, and keep finding in my family. Is there any way I can even outline the dimensions of the amount of love I receive from them? Just as impossible it is to me to describe the love I feel for them. It's something to do with blood, heart, electrical-vibrational power...a bondage of indestructible energy that defies physical reality. 

Maybe I should be simple and ultimately call it LOVE.

--Fía

Today

I feel blessed.
I am blessed.
I am so grateful for what I have, what i have worked for, what i've become.
It's not easy to sit with yourself and really take the time to reflect on just who you are, where you are...right now.
No "shoulda's", no "coulda's".  Just breathing and let it sit.
Acknowledge. Observe.
Give time and space.

**This is Lord Ganesha-- provides guidance and direction to our intentions**

It shouldn't be scary to ask the big questions.  It terrified me, and there are days that the unwanted little fear "cuco" (monster) starts to creap in on me--i literally picture it as this smokey gooey "thing" crawling up my back.  Well, during harder days, which we all have, it is even more significant to give yourself 5 minutes to just sit and breathe..and question: what is this monster? what does he look like? what does it really signify?
But going back to my initial idea: it's not terrifying to ask yourself big questions.  How am i truly feeling? Who am i right now? Where do i want to go? It's not a matter of putting on your shoulder these big gigantic expectations! OH NO! or command yourself into overwhelming missions.
There should be no pushing, commanding or even determined answers.  Just the intention.  Just the attitude.
It will guide you.


Coming back to me--i feel kind of selfish doing so, but i have to realize it is MY blog-- i'm experiencing that journey right now and i've never ever felt better.
It's not about results, it's more about attitudes, behaviors, actions..and i know, i have this earnest faith that things will shift, the changes (whichever they may be) will come.
I'm amazed at how magnificent it all works--energy, frequency, intentions, practice, faith-- i've seen changes already and what is most important, i FEEL it true.  I feel different, and trust me, i've surprised myself with my actions.


Sometimes we have these ingrained, fixed, stubborn ideas of how "life should be" or "where i'm going" or even "how it should work out".  I say: "whoa! that is dangerous".
I was stuck in that frequency and mentality for years.  And you know? Now i realize it basically lead me to frustration and inertia.  No flow, no movement, no opportunity for anything to happen!  I was this metal statue of a being--or you know stuck under a steel armor with no capacity to dance through life.  All my movements were stiff, "right angled" and my vision totally reduced.
And then we come across what i like to call "little deaths".  We all go through life and death every day.  Some things end, but there is always birth just waiting to arrive.  I find that beautiful.
Not fearing death, for it's part of the cycle.  It's what needs to happen for life to happen!
Ideas, thoughts such as: letting go, changing skin, detachment are worth living--even though in this Western society it has been hammered since childhood..in our spongy open intuitive system..how death equal bad. Death equals suffering. Death equal end.
So sit...breathe...and really evaluate what you have.  I guarantee you'll surprise yourself on how much you have, how much you've accomplished and how there is absolutely NO reason, use, need to identify with the "shoulda's" and "coulda's".

**Krishnamacharya sitting in Padmāsana setting intention to his practice**

(I practice this everyday which guides my intentions, attitudes and behaviors)

You are blessed.
You and I.
I am with you.

Let us not forget:

SAWABONA--

"I respect you, I treasure you, you are important to me".

In response:

SHIKOBA-- "then i exist to/for you".

--Fía.

Connected, but alone? (Part deux)

"Connected, but alone?"

Technology: texting vs. real conversation.  

The power of editing our relationships: not too little, not too much.  Editing. Control what to say, what to hear, when to participate--disconnection, not being present.  

This detachment is avoiding and stealing away the possibility and GREAT power of self reflection. 

Running away? From who? What? Ourselves?

Then there is the actual action of texting...and not calling.  Texting, not speaking, not voicing our thoughts, feelings--and what about grammar? 

Phone surfing the web.  When we are alone, in gathering with friends, co-workers, in the presence (presence, presence, presence) of family members.  

What happens to the child/adolescent that must and should develop communicating skills? Social behavior? 

Makes me wonder: how can we aim for universal bondage, a sense of community amongst us humans and the world, if keyboards, touch-screens, headphones and microphones are now replacing our senses? Diminishing, killing our experiences? 

----that brings me to my constant surprise (i stand in "awe"!) when i see people running along Central Park, or any beautiful natural landscape, hooked into headphones but so hooked-out.  Missing out on the different bird sounds, the magnificent trees in bloom, the sound of water, wind, even creatures (like me!) around them.  It is not my intention to judge, but sincerely communicate my wish for a greater connection.----

What happened to play? in children? in adults? 

What happened to long meaningful conversations? (that are not work related, meetings or some kind of scheduled appointment)

Where have handwritten love letters, poems, gone? 

My question really is: how connected are we--truly--now with this so called "global connectivity"?

How in touch are we with ourselves and what's around us?

Self reflect. Svādhyāya.

How aware are we with each other?

Svādhyāya.

We are designing and using technology that gives us the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship.  

Let's connect by disconnecting.  How empty will that make you feel? to be off your devices?

Is it a fear of being alone? Is it the desire to belong, to feel like your being listened--is that the reason of "connecting"? posting? texting?

Or is it a fear to actually deal with yourself? Your true inner feelings? Your true existence?

Svādhyāya.

How much of this connection is isolation? Being alone, solitude and isolation are very different things.

Being alone is not necessarily being lonely. 

Let's use our devices, yes, but let them not shape and redefine who we are and our relationships. 

Let's create sacred spaces for ourselves, for each other.

Let's establish and cultivate true live connections.

Let's listen, nourish our senses and their powers to communicate.

Explore.

Discover.

Surprise.

Be alive. 

--Fía. 

Connected, but alone?

Last night was a good night.  Last night I felt alive, in-sync, in a frequency, vibration that allowed me feel flowing and present.  

One of those moments when you are capable of acknowledging: "hey, this is nice!", "hey, i feel in my element" and everything is somehow working out, positive and hopeful.  

There is also a sense of grasping and understanding the big picture--what matters. How the world, yourself, AND yourself IN the world works.  

It can happen while being alone, while sharing with friends or after a meaningful encounter with someone or something. 

It has come to me in different scenarios.  Very diverse scenarios, i must say: 

While washing dishes, while taking a shower, trimming my nails.  There is something to say about cleansing practices and their connection to self reflection. At least for me.  The Yoga Sutras does include cleanse (sauca) as an element to practice in regards to our relationships with ourselves.  Smart, wise Mr. Patañjali. 

It has come to me while cooking, chopping those delightful vegetables, also when taking the time to really appreciate and become aware of what, when and how i'm eating.  Ayurveda, the traditional system of medicine (health, really) of India--"the Science of Life"-- suggests and prescribes to eat..just eat...when eating. Sounds redundant, but it can be quite challenging nowadays.  It's based on being present and conscious of our actions.  Connect to ourselves in the action of eating, relating to our food, to our nourishment.  Being an Ayurvedic "practitioner" myself, I know it how challenging it can be!

Connect by disconnecting.  How easy and habitual is it to watch TV while eating, reading, check our phones/devices? Right? 

If alone, sit in silence and take the time to see, smell, taste, hear, feel your food.  If not alone, do the same but acknowledge the other, relate to them. 

Gratitude towards what you have: contentment (samtosa).  What you have is what you have, it is enough.

Contentment to be where you are, with who you are.  No quarreling! 

Connect by disconnecting. 

Last night i had one of those moments.  I was not running against the clock.  In flow and in my rhythm.  I've noticed how doing so stresses me out, living up to what is coming next.  An agenda to fill, somewhere to be, running, catching up.  It drains me, it makes me disappear, pass by the day..disappear. 

Yes, there are times where we HAVE to be somewhere, and we don't have the luxury to take all the time we want in our chores and actions--but i want that to be conscious.  Not mechanical living or forgetting myself.  I need and i WANT moments of connection.  With myself and with my environment.  That's my practice, that's part of yoga, there is the effort (tapah), there is the reflection, study (svādhyāya) and there is my devotion, sacrifice, surrender (íśvārapranidhānani).  The action of yoga (kriya yoga). 

So there i was, at home..physically...in my home frequency...energetically, emotionally...

and i came across this wonderful, insightful, and hopeful TED talk.  Completely "connected" (important choice of word!) with my evening experience! 

If you're interested, read my next post.  I decided to separate it in two, because a part of me sensed it might be a bit overwhelming.  So, read along to the next one--or whenever, if interested...

"Connected, but alone?" 

**link in next post!***

--Fía