The Earth Shakes

In a country of ocean, mountains and valleys,
The earth is charged with powerful forces that call the best of
you,
me, 
all. 
Calls the truth.  

A strong heart speaks words of truth,
like never before.
Speaks a language unknown to many. 
Tongue of fire, that burns lies,
deceit,
distrust,
speculations.

Silence is gold,
silver,
copper.

This land won't stand for pretense.
This land is magnetic,
mysterious,
secretive.

Red,
Velvet,
Purple,
and Blue.
Are the waters of the rivers that bathe us.
The blood of those gone,
the blood of those here,
the blood of those coming.

Green,
Brown,
Orange,
and Black.
Is the soil that holds the souls when we sleep.
Souls of those gone,
Souls of those here,
Souls of those coming. 

Blue,
White,
Yellow,
and Pink.
The vast ceiling of our dreams. 
Dreams of those gone,
Dreams of those here,
Dreams of those coming. 

The Earth shakes.
Heat, 
Friction. 
Energy of truth,
Inevitable. 
A crack,
A ray of light,
A shift,
Blinding colors.

Heart pounding,
Fragile skin,
tender,
soft.

Breath short,
Smooth voice,
trembles with excitement,
aroused. 

Electric feet,
toes spread,
legs unsettle.
Hips sway.

A moan,
A scream,
Release.
The heart shakes,
the ground,
the Earth shakes.

1,2...

A rush of sorrow is lying beneath my skin.
It is beyond what has happened,
what was said,
or done.

There is a stream of aching that invades my heart.
Has me flooded in tears,
making my bones weak,
my muscles collapse,
and I fall to the ground.

I listen to the ground.
Like I picture myself resting upon your gentle heart.
1,2
1,2
1,2
1,2

Why do I feel so much?
A lady once told me: that's your gift, and your doom.
I never believe that, 
could anything be more cliché? 

How is it that we live as immortals,
love with no heart,
care with no hands,
and think with no mind?

Pain is beautiful.
Joy is beautiful,
but Peace and Truth are holy.

I wish to breathe in white,
I wish to step on green,
and bathe in blue.
Be warm in yellow,
and love,
laugh,
in red.

Maybe it is what has happened,
what was said,
and done.

I just will not follow.

I will not settle to the rotten desires that respond to,
selfish,
heartless,
senseless,
hurtful,
bickering and winning.

I will not settle,
not to the empty words that speak of violence,
disguised in quotidian,
common,
conventional,
dialogue.

The truth is:
I'm tired.
But I'm hopeful.
This heart of mine won't surrender.
I'll stand in my integrity.

Privacy

Yellow and blue,
sun and ocean.
A wildflower,
a drop of rain.
A silly bee,
the sky at dawn.

A boy is bouncing a ball against the pavement,
There is talking,
more boys join in.
There's laughing.
The bouncing stops,
Running steps take over. 
Bouncing continues. 

There is a blue breeze that cleans the air,
more laughing.
The yellow rays touch a girls knees,
she sits and looks at the scene.
She looks at the boy.  
He knows she's there.

Next to her is a white bicycle, 
her faithful friend.
She likes white and green.

She does not speak, she just watches.
She's engaged.
Her back and neck reveal that:
her posture is perfect. 

The yellow makes her warm,
the blue keeps her awake.
Her slim mouth is slightly open, 
she's spellbound.
Her cold toes move, almost unnoticeable,
it's her private excitement. 

She quietly smiles,
the boy has seen her.
No one noticed.
She likes that. 

Underneath her dress her heart is pounding.
If they only knew. 

The boy bounces the ball, 
he plays to his heartbeat, 
which gets faster and faster.
He stands in the yellow, he loves the blue.
A glance,
he smiles. 

She smells of flowers, he thinks.

He smiles,
The girl blinks agreeing,
No one noticed.
They like that. 

My Battle

I stare at the ceiling,
I do not move.
I only blink.

To be extremely accurate I can perceive my chest rise and fall,
And as I lay my hand upon my navel, I can feel my heartbeat. 

I look at the ceiling.
I don't look for answers,
I actually take the time to remember my dreams. 

Dreams...
What are dreams?

Are they not but just imaginary fixations of outcomes, based on....what?
Are dreams a fanciful way of saying desires?
But are they really quite the same thing?
Dreams are what we wish for, yearn, hope, maybe even pray for.

Dreams of the night.
What are those then? 
Mysterious messages from our unconscious,
Words of some god,
Fears,
and yes, hopes too. 

I lay inert,
I do not even wear clothes.
My bare skin open to the ceiling,
to the sky,
to the planets to look at,
to the stars to shine on,
to the moon to pull. 

I lay,
with my dreams,
with my demons,
as I'd lay after some war in a battlefield. 
You might not see my wounds,
nor smell my blood, 
but I can't move.
The only thing I have left is my breath.

I've crawled under blankets of fear,
of shame,
of anger, 
but most of all
I've crawled under the iron blanket of unworthiness.
I've curved my back inwards so hard that I forgot there was a world beyond than my bony knees and the ground 
where I'd fall on,
again, again, again. 
That
Was my reality.

Now I'm chest up, open.
Still in battle...
something held in a dark corner inside me.
Between my rib bones,
On the insides of my clavicle,
Right beneath my sternum.

My body still does not move,
I lay.
I blink.
My ribs rise,
My legs lay heavy,
My sternum shines.

Something happens.
I close my eyes.
And I find a lake, a river, an ocean,
for now my eyes flood with salty tears.
I hear a voice:
(I'm so afraid, I'm so afraid, I'm so afraid)
Trust. 
You are enough.

Breath altered.
In, out,
sobbing.
In, out,
sobbing.
In, out,
nothing.
In...
sobbing.
This is war.  
My battle. 

I hear a voice:
(tell me, tell me, tell me)
Why are you so afraid?

I open my eyes.

My naked skin still exposed,
surrenders...

Night

Hands touch,
Eyes see,
Lips kiss,
Tongues taste.

How can it be?
How can it be that when I'm with you,
when I breathe your same breath,
join your touch,
match your pulse,
I'm left with no memory.

I touch you and wish to remember every stroke, every texture of your skin.
I kiss you and long to hold on to the feeling of your lips, your tongue (when you kiss me so sweet or so strong).
I hear you and yearn to retain that precise pitch of your voice.
I see you, look at your face, and promise this exact moment will never leave my side.

I'm full,
I'm me,
I'm you,
You're me.
I'm whole.
I'm gone.

I'm lost and left unafraid.
I'm out but still so in.

Nights with stars,
Nights with moon,
Pitch black nights.

"Come night,
Come black-brow'd night,
Come cloudy gentle night,
Come love-performing night"

You play,
I listen.
You speak,
I listen.
I watch.
I breathe.
I listen,
watch,
breathe.

"Come closer,
Come see me,
Come smell me,
Come have me"

The wings of night lifts us,
suspends us in the air.
The breeze of night transfix us,
with the scent of skin,
the scent of us.
The time of night mystifies us,
leaving us astray.
With so much, but not so much.

Electric shocks run deep inside me.
Breath shortens,
The air thickens,
Chest opens,
I'm gonna fall,
I'm coming down,
Here I come,
I'm falling,
Catch me!

I'm caught.

How can it be?

We speak of truths for they have been given names,
yet there is no truth that ever spoke of this.
Or better yet, no words have spoken of this truth.

Fearless,
Pure.
Honesty.
Pure.

Simple.

You

Pick it up,
Pick it up now,
And start again.

You've got a warm heart,
You've got a beautiful brain.

Stay calm,
Stay here,
There is nowhere else to go.

You've got strong bones,
You've got a liquid soul,
Let it flow and glow with no return.

Your cave has grown too deep,
Your floor has sunk too low.

Pick it up,
Pick it up now,
And start again.

You've got mysterious  eyes,
You've got a hypnotic neck,
You've got to start again.

Your skin is ice cold,
But if you cut you'll bleed,
Please don't forget that.

There will come a day,
Where you'll realize,
that you can still be,
What you want to,
What you said you'd be,
When you were white clean.

You've got a warm heart,
You've got a beautiful brain,
Don't let it desintegrate...

Yellow Rivers

I found myself looking for silence.
Looking for silence,
running away from noises that swallow up the sound of life.
Of the earth.

The ground has an echo.
The sky, a whistle.
The trees, a whisper.
Rivers and far away oceans, a song.
The sun, a pulse.

We've grown deaf.

I found myself yearning to lie on the ground,
feel the ground.
Feel my body on the ground.
To just listen.
To belong.

7:22pm.
My body freshly bathed.
I lay there, on the ground.
I let go...
Muscles, let go.
Bones, let go.
Mind, let go.

I was transported to when my body was with yours....last.
To a timeless zone,
undefined space,
indescribable dimension where there is nothing,
but everything.
No one but you,
and me,
and the vast sky.

I saw myself,
I witnessed myself,
still being myself.
As deranged as that might be.

I was me,
not me,
still me.

And I saw yellow.

Yellow rivers in me,
in you,
in us,
all around us.

No beginning,
no end,
all expanding.

Yellow currents traveling through me,
through you,
from me to you,
you to me,
Our arms,
legs,
feet,
chests,
backs,
mouths.
And suddenly it soaked through to our surrounding.

Yellow.
Bright yellow.
Sunlight yellow.
Sunflower yellow.
Gold yellow.

Holy silence,
lovely sound...

Blessed darkness,
sacred light...

The Night has come...

The night has arrived,
the blinding yellows and burning oranges have been swallowed by the mysterious black.
Pitch black.
Yet hearts glow like the countless stars,
Eyelids close and desires breathe.

A secretive woman lies on her back,
Strokes her hair,
looks up to the sky.

A flirtatious smile,
A deeper inhale,
Eyes shut,
Chest rises.

It's the image of you.

She dreams,
but it's true.
She prays,
but there's no need.
It is true.

Her feet are like rose petals that caress your skin,
Her arms the wind that grabs, holds, envelops, and yearns to touch...you.
Her navel a placid lake, that wishes to make you float and bathe inside.
Her neck, a sweet waterfall.
She opens her chest to draw you in, to welcome you in.
She offers a warm meadow of green and life and peace.
Lay here,
Lay here.

She lies on her back,
Her movements now slower,
give in to the world of dreams.

She still smiles.

Eyes shut.
You're here...