Small is BEAU-TI-FUL

It's been going around...
just like the earth has been shaking in different corners of the world, the tides have been moving the bodies of water fiercely and the winds have been swirling and dancing upon cities...
things are shifting.
Shifting and coming back.  Coming back to it's origin.
Origin: in the sense of simple, basic.

My point here is the beauty of simplicity.  The elegant power of the simple. Yoga speaks of it so.

Where have we left the simple?
We live in a world where the economic market is ruling us all.  Everything measured, following the principle of a transaction: a seller and a buyer, a giver and a taker, a "good deal".  It has been working on and on, permeating into our most intimate realm, that of faith, spirituality and emotions.
"I like him/her...is it worth it?"
"I want x...how will i benefit from it?" (even if it means a love partner).

This has all been discussed by philosophers, economists (non-mainstream), thinkers way more experienced and knowledgeable than me.  I just happen to see examples in my everyday life.
It is a challenge, it is a risk, and it demands great courage--just to open my eyes.  But once the veil is slightly pulled away there is no turning back.
Unless fear and hypocrisy step in.
No, thank you.

I've been going around this whole idea for some time now.  I can see, feel, perceive myself struggling with some kind of force that i could just not put a finger on.  It's been moving through me in so many levels I could never have the sufficient clarity to connect it all--but i know it is there.
Sometimes it's a feeling--which surprises me and takes over.
Sometimes it's a conversation--that inspires me and bursts a little bubble, releasing a pinch of epiphany.  Sometimes it's an observation-- the power of nature and it's ongoing order, or an image that is not random..and whoosh! it's there!
Sometimes it's an argument--quite eye opening, painful but revealing.

It's all been brewing inside me, boiling like a cauldron.
At one point I was so insistent on understanding it all..."what is it?"  Then there is resisting and judgement..."there is something wrong with me, clearly".  Then there was hiding and pretending..."if i just ignore it, if i pretend i'm ok, that this is ok, then it will disappear".
Unfortunately I'm far past the childhood stage where you would close your eyes, think of disappearing and actually believe you were invisible.
It was not going away.

I forgot to mention that there was/is tiredness in this big equation too.  Yes, i'm tired.  Tired of what? Tired of struggle, tired of resisting, tired of "the difficult".
Doesn't it sound like there is a missing part to these statements?
Tired of resisting________?
Tired of struggling________?
Tired of the difficult, being________?

That, already makes me tired!
It's a loop, an on-going loop.
But then...then...there is dishwashing!
Praise the Lord, the Universe, Ganesha, the Sun, Moon and Stars for dishwashing.
Most dislike it, most go through various mechanisms to just not do it: take-out, dishwasher, filth.
I love it. Well, maybe not love it--as in i wake up in the morning to do the dishes, but definitely do not mind it.
It's mind-blowing how much the act of feeling warm water run through my hands, how scrubbing and rinsing gets me so in touch with myself.  It provides me ease, it allows a time of intimacy--where it's me and just me.  And some kind of clarity to it all.
So simple. (simple is beautiful)
It's an act of cleanliness, it's an act of kindness and care. (small is beautiful)
And through dishwashing-- specifically this morning I just considered: stop and chill out.
Ok, i'm an idiot to not have thought of that before.  Of course I have.  But with struggle and defiance.
If i let things flow, just like the water through the dishes...with trust, with faith and surrender..things WILL flow.
I've heard talks, i've read a wide variety of books that speak of authenticity, speak of vulnerability, acceptance and trust--but i was struggling so much. Trying to paint by the book, not letting  the stroke be an extension of my soul. Cooking my life through a recipe book.
My life has not turned around in the last couple of hours, or i haven't been reborn, "sán-se-acabó" (it's done).
Self-worth is what i stand up for-- what pains me, what/who damages me shall not bring me down, and shall not be welcome anymore. It is not Ego, it is kindness and love.
I am a miracle in itself.
So is everyone.
It's that simple..and beautiful.

Fía.

**Just this morning I reviewed Yoga Sutra 2.3
"avidyāsmitā-rāga-dvesābhiniveśāh kleśāh"
the obstacles are misapprehension (ignorance), false identity (Ego), excessive attachment, unreasonable dislikes and insecurity (clinging to life). 

** " The key to changing the world, to changing your life, and to empowering those around you is authenticity - the willingness to be yourself - the willingness to be vulnerable - the willingness to feel - the willingness to live. I’m simply reminding you of who you truly are, supporting you into self-love and acceptance by eradicating the judgement that you’ve imposed on yourself and society has opposed on you. " ~ Panache Desai.